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How do you bees feel about wearing ivory or white at a wedding when youre not the bride?
My jaw drops when I see it done especially when a MIL tries to get away with it. I've also heard that wearing fire red is a no no as it distracts from the bride..hmmm
Thoughts?
No. It's not even a point of discussion in my books - there is no controversy (or at least there shouldn't be) - NO ONE wears white but the bride.
I haven't heard the no-red rule, but a lot of asian brides wear red so perhaps it comes stems from there?
If the bride was going to be wearing a color say black or red, why not? Especially if everyone is aware of it. Just not a bridal dress- like a white sun dress would be fine. I wouldn't mind if I have an actual wedding as I'll be wearing gray most likely.
@80sbee: Umm, unless the theme is white and black, I would not dare wear white or ivory if I'm not the bride.
I say definitely not, but I just wanted to throw this out there (which might make me sound like an idiot), but it had never occurred to me, nor had I ever heard it mentioned that you shouldn't wear white to a wedding until like 2 years ago. After I heard it, it immediately made sense, but I just wanted to throw it out there that some people seriously might not know.
This has been discussed a lot lately. I would never wear a WHITE DRESS to a wedding...but I do have a dress that I really want to wear again that's black and white, with a lot of white...
Sorry to jack this thread, but is this dress in appropriate?
sorry it's so blurry!
I said its fine. I wouldn't wear it to anyone elses wedding but I could have cared less if someone wore it to mine. As long as its not a bridal gown of course.
I think a dress with some white or some ivory in it is fine, but NOT an all white dress. I just attended a wedding where a guest wore a teeny tiny short white dress. She got made fun of the whole night. I kind of felt bad for her, but I think she was looking for attention and she got it, just not in a good way.
I think the guests can wear any color they want, with the exception of white/ivory unless they know the bride doesn't care. I've seen a lot of blogs lately w/ the bridesmaids wearing off-white and I think that looks really cool.
I voted 'other'. I personally have no issues with any of my guests wearing white/ivory. Everyone knows I'm the bride, I'm the one getting married and I'm the one in the floor-length lace dress with train and veil... kind of hard to get confused because a guest is wearing a white cotton maxi-dress. Now, if someone wore an actual wedding dress, that would be different; but even then, I'd just think they were an idiot, as would most of the other guests, and they'd likely be the subject of ridicule.
So really, I think it depends on the bride; I personally don't care what colours my guests wear, as long as they look fairly smart (I don't mind evening guests wearing jeans, but would hope that my day guests will wear smart trousers/shirts/dresses).
That said, I personally would not ever wear ivory to a wedding, as I know that some brides would take offence, and wouldn't want to chance it.
I'd say it depends on the type of dress worn. In the Steve Martin Father of the Bride film, the mother wears a short ivory dress and jacket that's elegant, appropriate and in no way steals the bride's thunder. Here's a pic, although it's not too great quality and doesn't show off the pretty beading.
On the other hand, I think that a long white or ivory dress that looks bridal is way inappropriate.
I would never ever wear white/ivory to a wedding (I also never wear black). I just think its a terrible reflection on you if you are thoughtless enough to risk upsetting the bride by wearing white.
That said, my godmother wore white to my wedding and I did not care at all. I still don't know wtf she was thinking but it didn't upset me on the wedding day.
I agree that dresses with white IN them are okay, like a print on top of a white background, or a white and *insert color here* dress.
Also, I don't think anybody should be wearing anything that resembles a bridal gown, regardless of color! The only person that can wear tulle is the bride lol
I wouldn't wear an all white dress. But a dress with some white in it is fine.
Honestly i couldnt care less if someone did anyway. As long as they're not wearing a wedding dress what does it matteR?
@pinkandsparkly: That dress is very pretty, but I wouldn't wear it to a wedding. I'm sure a lot of brides wouldn't mind, but I think there's a little too much white.
I would never wear white to a wedding! I don't see what the problem with red is, and I do like to wear red. I would probably consider the venue and the style of the wedding before I wore red though.
I just wouldn't do it. There are thousands of other colour options, I'm sure I can easily avoid wearing white to a wedding.
Never heard of not wearing red.
I would never do it. I know there are people that say there's no rule against it, but I still don't think it's appropriate...even though everyone will know who the bride is regardless of how the guests are dressed. I'd never heard the no red rule until this thread, but I never wore that to a wedding either (thank goodness). I also try to avoid colors that I know the bridesmaids will be wearing too, just so no one thinks I'm trying to pawn myself off as one, LOL. Clearly I overthink things!
I think it's fine as long as it looks nothing like a bridal dress. For my wedding, I don't care at all if someone wears white, because I'll be wearing red. :)
I understand the argument that a guest wearing white will not detract from the bride but I still don’t get why someone would feel the need to do it. There hundreds of other colors to choose from, why MUST someone wear white or ivory to a wedding? If the dress has a pattern on it then I would say it’s almost always fine but if it’s a plain white or ivory dress then do yorself a favor and find something else to wear. You’re going to look like an asshole and chances are the brides friends will joke about throwing wine on you. Whether or not they actually follow through, well… I guess that depends on how much they like you.
I went to my first wedding as an adult a couple years ago and I wore WHITE (with a floral pattern) to the wedding which was dumb, I know. Haha. Anyway, no one ever said anything but quite honestly, it never even occurred to me and I don't think it does to other people, either, unless they have been to several weddings.
Here's a candid of the dress I wore. I think it was okay 'cause it had black in it, too, but had I known this rule I would have nixed the dress altogether.
@80sbee: Nope, it wouldn't bother me. Then again, I'm having my matron of honor pick her own dress, so I'm not very concerned with making sure certain colors are or aren't used for clothing for our wedding guests.
There seem to be a lot of color restrictions for weddings - no white, no black, no red, etc., but I'm seeing more people ignoring these. The last wedding I attended had about half the ladies in little black dresses and no one seemed to care.
@80sbee: My mom wanted to wear white and in fact she wore white to my aunt's wedding many years ago. I made it quite clear that while I have been very open to her choice of color and style etc I am putting my foot down when it comes to ivories and whites.
I just think it is somewhat rude IMHO.
@UpstateCait: Agreed.
Definitely not an all white dress, but I think it's okay if there is a pattern over it. i once wore a white dress, but it had black and pink flowers all over it...
white dresses with a color pattern on it? Totally fine. All white/ivory dress? Unless you know the bride won't care (and I mean asking her) then just avoid it. While I know I probably won't care, I know it really could upset another woman getting married...and why risk that on her wedding day? I think it's just SO easy to find any dress other than an all white or all ivory one, so it is just a risk not worth taking when it comes to someone's feelings.
I've worn ivory-background dresses with colorful prints to weddings before. They didn't look anything like wedding dresses and the prints were enough color that it was mostly non-ivory, so I thought it was fine.
I'd be a little miffed if someone wore an all-white or -ivory dress to our wedding, but I'd honestly probably be over it within seconds.
Why go with white when there are plenty of other options? If you're unsure if something's appropriate, just go w/something else. The exception being if it's ok in the culture. In some cultures, it's considered ok to wear white, so that's not really an issue.
I probably wouldn't, if it were a simple sundress though or soemthing that is oviously not bridal I think it would be fine...
I would never wear white to a wedding, unless I knew that the bride was okay with it. At the same time, it would not bother me if someone else did. My attitude is that if we are inviting anyone to the wedding who doesn't know who the brides are (there were two of them in our wedding), we are clearly inviting too many people.
Actually, we had one guest who wore an all-white outfit--white shirt and skirt. However, since it was a man wearing a kilt, we didn't think anyone was going to confuse him with a bride. 
My DIL did ask that I not wear bright red to her wedding. She's a photographer who sometimes does weddings, and she said it would make me stand out too much in photos. I respected her wishes on that point, and wore teal instead.
my mom wore red to her now SIL's wedding and my aunt FLIPPED OUT! Started screaming and everything.
She's still nuts :)
I'd never wear white to a wedding. There are so many other options out there, why risk offending the bride?
Honestly, I think it is a really petty, silly thing to be concerned about. I would not have cared if every single guest was wearing a white wedding dress - everybody knew it was me that was getting married.
ETA: I'm only saying this because the OP specifically asked for our thoughts on the subject. I am sure that there are many things that I worry about / would or wouldn't do that others would find petty or silly as well.
Just so long as no one could "confuse" her with the bride. An older lady isn't a big deal but if a younger girl wore a floor length white dress I might be upset. Or if she wore a short dress that looks like a wedding dress I'd be upset. I think part of the reason a bride enjoys wearing white is because she's standing out and if there are 4 other ladies wearing white it sort of negates it...
@nineteen87: I second this. Not planning on wearing white so I wouldn't care if someone else did - but then I might mind if someone wore black lol
i actually went to a wedding where a guest was wearing her own wedding gown. It was a full length, A-line, with a beaded bodice. She was wearing a green cardigan over it.
it was the single oddest thing I'd ever seen.
@pinkandsparkly: No way!! How did the bride react.
I would not wear white to a wedding but I think there are exceptions. As long as no one is in a long flowy gown trying to upstage the bride then it's fine with me.
I think it actually becomes more of an issue when others make an issue of it. A few years ago when a friend of mine got married one of the guests wore a short white dress to the wedding. The bride did not care at all, it was a total non-issue for her. Other people looking at the wedding photos on facebook thought it was inappropriate, there were so many comments on this girl's dress that the bride had to step in and calm everyone down!
Get this:
My MIL tried to wear a wedding dress to my wedding. A WEDDING DRESS. I said absolutely not, and she STILL wore HALF of the wedding dress. Yeah, that's right, it was a 1980's two piece with shoulder pads and tassels. I kid you not. It was ridiculous.
Combined with other things she tried to pull during that weekend... let's just say we don't speak to each other and I will NEVER live on the same side of the country as that woman.
@b00kbug: Ahhh.. so there is the no no to red I have heard about. I guess it makes a guest stand out too much.
@chouette: I wouldnt mind if a little girl wore white.. but honestly, some MILs will wear white or ivory and I think it has to do with wanting as much attention as the bride. Obviously if you wear white or ivory people are going to talk about you at the wedding.
That being said, having patters and some other colours on a white summery dress is no biggy to me.
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