(Closed) Wedding 10/25 short funds due to Injury and surgery idwas to raise quick cash

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

First of all, we will do everything we can to help!

What do you need the $4000 for specifically? If you tell us what you are short of, we can give you better ideas of ways to compromise. Just “help us come up with $4K” is a pretty tall order! What specifically do you need?

Post # 5
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

Are you looking for ideas to save money, or donations for your wedding?

Post # 6
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m sorry for all the bad things that are happening to you!  I noticed that some of the expenses you need to pay seem to be honeymoon related.  I would suggest cutting out the honeymoon for right now and do it later when you have the money to do it and won’t feel guilt ridden spending that money instead of saving for future bills, etc.  Also, maybe cut out the hotel if you are getting married near where you live.  We went back to our own house after the wedding as a way to save money.

Post # 7
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Do you need the limo? Lots of couples drive themselves. Also, can you get a stand-in ring until you can pay for his? A cheap ring to just do the job? Also do you need both rooms? Is one for your honeymoon that you could postpone? Also favors could be eliminated– they aren’t a must. And you can probably find an aspiring photographer on Craigslist for less than $250. They might even do your wedding for free! Good luck, let us know how it goes.

Post # 9
Member
81 posts
Worker bee

I am not too sure what you are looking for people to say. It seems like you’re just a little defensive with your responses to be honest. There really is no magic solution to get quick cash. Sell your eggs/blood? Put stuff on a credit card and pay it off when your income goes up again? I am in grad school and only making $1000 a month (so $1900 seems like a lot to me!) and have crazy medical bills so I can feel your pain…just try to hang in there. 

Post # 10
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m not sure what to add except I’m sorry that’s happened.

Are you getting disability payment?  I know my coworker had insurance and used it (paid her salary) until she came back which was important b/c they have 2 small kids.

Have you talked to his parents for help?  That’s what I’d do.

I have been a single mom for almost 7 years now and can say that T and I will be doing pretty much our wedding alone, financially speaking.

Not asking for anything although I know they’ll pitch in for the rehersal dinner and maybe day after brunch.  We’re footing it all.

There are many of us here who have paid for our own weddings and while it’s not easy, we somehow do it and wait until we’re 100 percent ready to do it.  Unless you’d lose alot of money, why not postpone until you feel better (heck you said you had blood clots and surgery) and the wallet is fatter and you’ve both been able to work and less stress?  You can always marry now, have the actual wedding or a vow renewal later.

Is there some kind of job your FI can do to earn the 4k right now on the side? 

I just believe if there isn’t the money for a wedding, since it’s not something that’s guaranteed in life, that you either wait and save for it or make that happen by working extra, or marry now and enjoy the life together because that’s why we marry to begin with!  My grandparents, now married 70 years, got married at the JOP at the courthouse at night in secret.  No huge wedding.  And they’ve had a life of love and happiness!  Mrs. Mary Jane just had a lovely courthouse wedding!  Check out her threads!

Right now I think recuuperation should be your first priority and FI finding some side work to make ends meet for the both of you.

Post # 12
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I will say just have a court wedding. that will cut out 80% of your expenses.

Post # 13
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Maybe have the dinner after a lovely courthouse wedding?  That might save lots!

Post # 14
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I was gently going to suggest that you do a civil ceremony with those who have already paid for their travel expenses and do something simple-such as a potluck or cook out, or some other type of easy and budget friendly celebration. With all of the trauma that you have had, your friends and family will understand and I am sure, be willing to help. It may be hard, but my suggestion is to “come clean” with your family and friends about the situation and go from there.

There is tremendous pressure from society and the wedding industry in particular to have things a “certain” way. FI and I have been saving since our engagement in January 2009-as encores, we are paying for this ourselves and we’ve cut major corners. It was alot easier when we realized that it wasn’t as important what we did or where we did it, as it was who was there. Being surrounded by loved ones and family is more important to us than fancy wedding trappings. I have been a single mom for 5 years now and my twins will be six this coming week. Pennies are tight in our household. As a teacher facing budget cuts that resulted in furlough days, I have had a cut in my own paycheck. Money is tight.

How about a dessert reception at your home or the home of a friend? I’m sure that your friends & family would love to make their specialty dessert (cooks are vain people you know?!?!) and with it being a close group of family-there are always bragging rights as to who makes the better banana pudding or whose pound cake is the tastiest.

I am so very sorry to hear of all that you have been thru and I’m sure it is incredibly hard to feel like you are sacrificing things. My advice is to enjoy your beloved in the most affordable way possible, go ahead and get married (sometimes its hard to separate getting married with having a wedding) and when things are brighter financially, go ahead and take a trip, a honeymoon, or have your reception the way you’d like to (or at least a closer approximation of what you’d like) with a vow renewal at a later date.

Hugs to you sweetie!

Edit post-I wanted to share with you about my friend, I’ll call her Susie. She got married last year in October (we are good friends and will share an anniversary off by one day and a year) with a backyard wedding surrounded by family and close friends. We had a back yard reception that we all contributed to-a friend of hers made a cake, which was a fabulous chocolate confection with chocolate dipped strawberries on it-we each made 3-4 of our favorite appetizers (yes, crock pots were on the table) and it was actually a huge assortment of meatballs, tortilla pinwheels, dogfood dip, cheese tray, fruit salad, individual banana puddings, produce tray (grape tomatoes, baby carrots, celery sticks, cut up peppers, etc.) with homemade onion dip, someone else made a spinach dip in a loaf of bread, and more…it was charming and lots of fun. She wore blue jeans (YES! I said blue jeans!) we ALL did. It was a perfect fall day, lots of fun, totally casual and one of the warmest & most heartfelt weddings I have ever been to. Our “bachelorette” was a bunch of us sitting around her kitchen table dipping strawberries in chocolate and swirling them in white chocolate-really! I took her pictures with my digital camera and a friend who is a pastor was her officient. It really was lovely.

Post # 15
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

I would just do something small right now and then plan something larger in the future when you can afford it. 

Post # 16
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Hey,I understand the advice a lot of girls are giving about a civil ceremony, etc., but it sounds like you may have already spent a fair amount of money on the original site – money you might not get back.

Is there anyone (family? friends?) you can borrow the money from? Or can you take an advance on your pay at work? Do you get sick leave from work?

As for your dress, I would suggest hitting up the mall; Sears, JCPenney, Kohls; you might be able to find a nice white top to wear with pants/a skirt you already own; it would be wedding-y, but not the traditional white dress you don’t want.

You could also…
-host a ‘game night’ with inexpensive prizes (board games, card games, bingo, whatever) and charge a door prize. Explain to your friends that the proceeds go towards your wedding, and make fun invitations to print on your home printer
-ask your BMs or friends to help you host a traveling bake sale; sell the baked goods at offices or businesses where you know folks working. Again, explain that the proceeds go towards your wedding and that your funding fell through because of your injuries.
-check with the local religious community, if any of them might be able to help you, especially if you’re a member of a local church.

A few places you MIGHT be able to trim instead of earn (? not sure)
-can you style your own hair? Maybe just loose, flowing curls or something simple?
-Are you set on having a video of the ceremony? You seemed to cut out pictures, so video might be a nice memento, but it also might not be something you’d watch much
-Can you make do with one car, driving together, instead of 2 to the location? Saves a lot with what gas prices are up to these days.

 

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