Post # 1
New bee here.
I recently found this post and decided to share my problems.
My wedding is in 3 weeks, and every day I want it less and less.
Let start from the beginning: I and my fiancé been together for 10 years. We have been engaged for the past 5 years. I didn’t want to have a wedding to start but my fiancé insisted on it. I have been dragging my feet for the past 4 years by putting other priorities first (school, cars and house). Last year I run out of excuses not to have a wedding and my FI started organizing it. So right now we are 3 weeks away from the wedding, and my answer is no. I don’t want to marry him, I don’t want to have children with him, and I don’t even want to be with him anymore. The wedding is in France, (his family is from France) everything is ready, booked and paid from. Everybody is exited, my family get the tickets, hotel and cars booked, and I am just falling apart. I don’t know what to do. I am constantly crying and extremely depressed, I am lost. Any advice would be appreciated.
Post # 3
@Ekat: Don’t do it. I’m going to guess that you knew this a long time ago. I don’t know why you didn’t break it off before. Don’t waste the rest of your FI’s life and don’t get yourself stuck married to someone you don’t want to be with.
Post # 4
@Ekat: As hard as it will be, cancel. Your happiness needs to come first.
Post # 5
Do NOT marry him! People will be FINE with you calling off the wedding. The only person that gets hurt is YOU, if you go through with it!
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
The quicker you call it off, the better. ASAP!
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
It’s way better to end it now, before you’re married. Do you want to get stuck in a loveless marriage? If you don’t leave now, you won’t after the wedding.
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church
@Ekat: Don’t marry him. Yes, it will be hard for a while, but not as hard as spending the rest of your life with him, or going through a divorce.
Post # 9
@Ekat: Far better to call it off now than to go through with it. You will feel much better once the decision is made. *hugs*
Post # 10
I second everyone else, you shouldn’t go through with it. Why don’t you want to be with him though? And what has kept you with him for so long?
Post # 11
I just talked to my dad. He told me to leave as well. The back story is that my FI 2 years ago started to work for a big oil company and everything became about him and how much money he makes. How great is his career and how he should do everything to promote it. A year ago he went on assigment to the other state, so now he cames back home only on the weekend. His latest development was to move over seas for 2-5 years, and for me to with him. A year ago I left a big oil company(which I hated) for a smaller one which I love. I love going to work, I love my company and I love my job. I don’t want to leave it. My Fi hates that I left the big oil company to work for a smaller one and he has no respect for that I do, and for what I make. Right at this point everything became about him and what he makes and it’s not that I agreed on.
Post # 12
@Ekat: He sounds like a real jerk! I say listen to your Dad and don’t marry him!
Post # 13
If you have all these reasons why you shouldn’t get married, than please listen to your intuition. Your FI does not seem to support you regarding your career, and with such lack of respect it’s going to affect how you feel about yourself and what you can accomplish.
It’s okay to say that you made a “mistake” and that you no longer want to get married to your FI. It is so much better to back out now vs. after getting married and having to go through a messy brutal divorce. Money can always be earned and saved again. Please don’t let other people’s opinions or money ever stop you from doing what you know is right for you and your life!
Post # 14
@Ekat: oh honey. Don’t do it! Don’t go through with this wedding. Even your writing sounds so hopeless and dejected, not at all what a bride should feel like 3 weeks before her wedding.
I know it seems like the end of the world to call it off now, but think of how much worse it will be to get divorced! Call it off. It will be ugly at first but ultimately will be ok in the end! Your friends and your family will still love you, and they will support you through this, and you will start a new, happy life.
Post # 15
@nightborn: I am not worried about leaving my FI. I am more concerned about all the people who spend so much money on tickets, hotels and everything else. I just feel like I am standing them up. I don’t know how to tell them, I am sorry, it didn’t work out. I know you spend so much, but there will be no wedding.
Post # 16
@Ekat: Please don’t worry about your guests – it is sweet of you to be considerate but no one wants you to be unhappy. Wishing you all the best.