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It is pretty common to have a gap in between the ceremony & reception, but I think 4 hours might be a bit much. Are your guests mostly from out of town? Or is it a small town where everyone can find something to do in the gap time? Are you planning on hosting appetizers & drinks during the gap to keep guests occupied? I guess if I drove or flew to another location and didn't know the area or many other people, I'd be kind of lost for 4 hours...
Definitely wedding at 3:30 or even 4. A four-hour gap is way too long in my opinion, if the two venues are that close. I think 1-2 hours is typical!
I think 4 hours is a long time if you're a guest. What about planning something for the guests to do nearby? Group bowling anyone? Those pictures would be awesome.
I was torn on that too, because I didn't want a huge gap but I wanted my pictures done in between. To solve our problems we are doing the ceremony 3:30-4:00, pictures 4:00-5:30 and starting dinner at 6. In between (4-6) they have an hour to explore the art gallery (the venue) and then another hour of cocktails in the reception room. We are also going to suggest bringing shoes to explore the large grounds. All of our things are taking place at the same venue, though.
I think that considering you are 25 minutes from the reception, you likely won't want to start your ceremony after 3, just so you don't feel rushed. On top of that, if you are providing an ideas card, then people will find something to do. For my FBIL's wedding there was a 4 hour gap and a bunch of us ended going out to Starbucks, shopped (it was a cute town) and THEN went to the reception (about 45 min before dinner). People who love you and want to be there will make it work.
@alicat2: Thats too much time, honestly I would go home after an hour of waiting.
I'm having a gap as well, not as long, but there will be a gap. Almost all of the weddings I attend as a guest have always had a gap. Oh well! The invite will state the ceremony is at x time and the reception is at x time. If they do not want to attend the ceremony because of it, it's perfectly fine with me. Not every couple choses to have a first look and we are chosing not to because it's something that is important to us.
It's always good to include info somewhere about the area, things to do, ect. There are two hotels right next to my venue, so if people are getting a room that night they can check in and relax prior to the reception. There are also restaurants, winerys and a downtown area that we will give info on. Wedding websites are great for all that misc info.
It's funny because I started another thread because I started to feel badly for my guests for the time gap. I am considering prepaying a tab at the winery across the street for the time delay and everyone said I didn't need to do that. I feel like you can't win?!
Good luck!
Our ceremony and reception are at the same time, but our ceremony will last about an hour and a half. There will also be a room with cocktails and stuff at the hotel while people wait.
If im an out of town guest, then yes 4 hours is entirely too long unless you woukd be providing something for us to do. If i live in town, then no...but id shorten the gap just to be convenient for everyone
I should clarify that while I think a 4 hour gap is a lot, we are still having about a one hour gap, but that will be our cocktail hour so our guests can get a drink & a nibble while we finish up our photos.
My wedding ran on that same exact timeline and everything worked out perfectly.
I got so many negative comments before the wedding and stressed about having this gap a lot. The catholic gap was by far one of my biggest stressors.
But everyone came. I only had one no show to my wedding. With 210 guests we had well over 100 people at the church. People went and checked into their hotel rooms, went for coffee, went home and changes, etc. Since DH and I actaully had plenty of time we did a receiving line when people walked into cocktail hours and we got to thank everyone individually without having to go table to table.
If I had a choice I would have had my wedding at 4 and ceremony at 6, but I didn't and after the wedding I didn't hear a single negative comment.
Also I agree with what RR stated. Make sure your guest know. I was also going to run a tab at a local bar but we ran out of money and that never happened and guests were still happy.
We're having a 3.5 hour gap. Wedding at 3 (30 ish minutes) and reception 7pm (no cocktail hour).
I'm in the "I don't care boat." It's a very chinese thing to do... so I'm not overly worried about what guests think. One can either go home, go out for lunch, have coffee, shop or sightsee.
That is exactly how my cousin did her wedding, or maybe the reception started at 5. I can't remember. Anyway for her/our whole side of the family the wedding and reception were both very local so we loved it! We went home, took care of pets and did whatever before heading over. His family was not local so I have know idea what they did. But personally I loved it! I got to get stuff done inbetween and not feel trapped all day and that lead me to stay later at night.
It's a long gap, and I'm not a fan.
That being said, who cares?! It's your wedding :) People can come if they want... or not.
im so glad you asked this!
our ceremony is at 1, and will last about an hour until 2. i obviously want to use time after for pictures because thats what i love most!
i was going to start a social/cocktail hour at 4-5 and then oh balls i dont even know. dinner at 530 or 6? but starting a dance at 7 might be early?
lol its been the most stressful part for me too!
I use to work for a wedding photographer and occassionally I went with him to be his wedding assistant. He always recommended to have at least 3 hours photo time so that if you wanted to have a few of location shots you had time to visit all of them. Depending on your plans you'll probably take photos outside the church with your family and that could take 45mins (something else to factor)
I was also a bridesmaid recently, and we only had 2 hours for the photos. We were suppose to go to 3 locations but we ran out of time and only went to the first 2.
That gap is really long, in my opinion. I've been to weddings with a big gap and guests got pretty restless. It was kind of a buzz kill to be honest. But if that is what you feel is best, do it. Your wedding is YOUR wedding. It is only your opinion that matters :)
I'm not a fan of long gaps. I got married at 4:30 with a reception/cocktail hour starting at 6pm. Even with that, people got to the reception early. We solved the photography issue by doing "girls" and "guys" pictures separately before and then BMs/GMs together and me and hubs afterwards. We were in the limo to the reception at like 6pm. Worked great for us.
Haha...I must be seriously underestimating how long it will take to do formal pictures. I was planning my (30 minute) ceremony for 5, then cocktail hour at 6 or 6:30, then dinner at 7 or 7:30. Our venues are about fifteen minutes apart. This gives us an hour to an hour and a half to take photos (we will miss cocktail hour). That isn't enough?? I guess I am pretty clueless!
I just know that personally, I hated being a guest where there was a long wait. Although, I guess I would rather it be four hours than two hours. That way, at least you could feasibly go home in between. When it's just an hour or so wait, there's not enough time to drive all the way back home, and you just end up sitting at one of the venues waiting. Personally, I don't want to go to Starbucks or out shopping when I am all dolled up for a formal evening wedding. I want my guests to be able to go pretty much right from the ceremony to the reception, with minimal (under a half hour) waiting.
But that's my preference. This is your wedding, so do it the way you want to do it! A good idea if you are having four hours in between is to have a family member host a "pre-wedding party." Like, have an aunt or someone whose house is nearby invite guests to stop by for drinks and appetizers.
@hotchildinthecity: I'm so glad you posted! I was thinking of doing the "girls" and "guys" photos before to save time. Glad to hear this worked out for you, because I am planning a similar time frame.
There is too much time in between the ceremony and reception, even with photos and travel time alloted.
@alleycat: It worked AWESOMELY! Also, while my husband and I were taking pictures at the ceremony site for like 20 mins, my bridal party was happy to chill in the limo and drink champagne! When we arrived at the reception site, they went inside to get apps and cocktails (we had a separate area from the regular cocktail hour) and we went and took a few more pictures!
if the hotels are not super close, then 4 hours is way too much time to make them wait.
but if they can go to their hotel rooms and hang out / rest, then I think it's ok. some guests will be happy to kill the time with shopping, bars, etc. but certain older people (like my parents) would be super grumpy about that.
That will make for a really long day! By dinner time your guests may be pooped!
Ultimately its up to you. If theres anyway to push it a tad bit later, I would ;)
We are doing our ceremony at 2 and dinner at 6. There is a 30 minute drive between locations, most everyone is from in town and I want enough time to do tons of photos. Honestly I am not going to rush my day because guests can't figure out how to kill 2 hours.
I figure ceremony will be 2-2:30, group/family photos will be 2:30-3:30, bride and groom will be 3:30-5:30 and then dinner at 6. (My Photographer is hired for 4 hours)
I just remember doing engagement photos and we took an hour and a half and I felt that was no where near enough time for photos.
I do think that is much too long of a gap. However, I think it would be nice for you to have some type of reasonable gap, maybe an hour and a half. We had our hour-plus-long ceremony and reception at a gorgeous mansion, but, unfortunately, there literally was no time in between. (We had to take many of our pics during the hors d'oeuvres hour -- which we missed entirely -- and also during the reception, and I felt as if I missed almost my entire wedding.)
I think it depends on how many out of town guests you have. It us customary in our family to have the church ceremony around 12 or 1, then do a small recieving line. the bridal party leaves to take their pictures, and then have the dinner reception around 6. It is the accepted norm. Guests can go home, shower, nap, run errands, and then change and meet at the hall for the party. Sometimes, a small lunch buffet style/ finger foods are done at the closest parents' house.
hope that helps.
Thanks everyone for the input! I guess in the end it is up to me and my FI and really no matter what we end up doing (4 hour gap or less) really someone will NOT be happy hahaha. So in the end I do have to realize it is our day and have to do what I feel is best!
We're doing exactly that: Getting married at 2pm (40 minute greek orthodox ceremony) & cocktails begin at 6pm. I think it'll be fine. If anything I wish we were doing the ceremony earlier in the day cause I fear we'll lose daylight for our photos. :S The sun sets at 4:30! YIKES!
@FutureMrsRugbee: Ah true since you are getting married in January, earlier sunset. BUT evening pics wtill be GORGEOUS that time of year too! Also our ceremony is not a church so probably only 20 mins or so. But thinking 2pm will still be okay. I guess like people have said, if they really want to come they will and I shouldn't worry about what they will do in between!
My ceremony started at 3:30 and my reception at 6pm and we were rushed for pics and didn't really get enough time to take all the ones we wanted. I think maybe 2:30 would be a good time for you.
@alicat2: I think thats too much of a gap it's normally the reception right after the ceremony but not a4 hour gap. :) try shortening it.
@alicat2: I think 4 hours is a little too long. With the reception being close, I think 2 hours should suffice. Guests might get restless with a 4 hour gap, not to mention hungry!
I think that is just fine. Although around here it seems like weddings are sometimes a bit different than in other areas. I've never been to a wedding with a "cocktail hour" - they all have had a big gap like yours will and we just entertain ourselves until the reception. It's not like we're sitting in the same spot, but we just do whatever until the reception time - usually appies and drinks at a restaurant, going home and changing, etc.
My FI and I are having this arguement right now. He want to "make an annoucement that the reception is at five instead of 6" (tacky, right?) because one person complained. Our ceremony is at 2 and reception starts at 6. Our ceremony is about 40 mins long, and we plan on greeting people as they leave. So about a three hour gap. I think that they might appeciate this gap because they can go an relax at the hotel, go to the two bars across the street from the recpetion area, and explore the tourist town. NO ONE AGREES with me, and I am losing at this battle. My FI now wants to rush thorough pictures and get back asap so we can start the reception early. (SORRY thread jack) Just wanted you to know I am going throught the same things, we sent our invites out already.
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Hi Bees. Need your advice. I am getting married at a Music Hall so about a 20 min. ceremony. Pictures will be taken at the Music Hall on the grounds then also some at the reception which is a Country Club. The Reception is about 20-25 minutes from where the ceremony is.
I was thinking of the Ceremony at 2pm then reception starts at 6pm (cocktails at 6, dinner 7). Some people say that is too much time in between, some say it is "my day" and it is fine, my mom says get married at NOON (NO way too long). I dont want people waiting around 4 hours but we were going to put "ideas" in our invitaions of things to do around the area for them. Do you think 4 hours is too long in between? I mean you do have the ceremony, then talking to everyone, pictures, drive to the reception and so on. Or should I do the wedding at 3 or 330 or is that being too rushed?
I have heard that some people won't come to the wedding if they feel there is too much waiting time between that and the ceremony. I am so torn. I know it is my day but trying to make everyone happy. Help!