Wedding 4 days after due date. WWYD?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: What would you do? (providing your not in the hospital)
    Go to the wedding and reception : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Skip the wedding and go to the reception on the 22nd : (15 votes)
    10 %
    Go to the wedding and skip the reception : (6 votes)
    4 %
    Tell MIL to shove it and don't go to either the wedding or reception : (101 votes)
    69 %
    I have a better idea that I will share below : (2 votes)
    1 %
    I like pumpkin pie! : (21 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    649 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    No way. I think your in-laws are being unreasonable, if not ridiculous. All of your points are valid, and it sounds like you’ve thought the options through and none of them are really feasible. You’re supposed to leave your newborn baby at home,  over an hour away?

    It’s his cousin, not his sister, and even if it was… this is your your baby, your body and your own family you’re dealing with here. Like you said, his cousin doesn’t even seem to care. 

    If I was in your position, I wouldn’t want my DH to go if I had had the baby or not, but I would leave it up to him. His family should respect that. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    3336 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Wow. They are being ridiculous. You need to do what is best for you, DH, and baby, and no one else!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1244 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @Fall_In_Love22:  Uhh, you two are adults, correct? How in the hell would anyone think they could order you to do anything? That’s completely ridiculous and I would have DH tell them so, right when he tells them that I wouldn’t be attending. They all sound like jerks. Hint: if you have to bully someone into attending your wedding, you’re doing it wrong.

    Post # 6
    Member
    939 posts
    Busy bee

    whoa, you husbands family needs to calm the F down! I would not plan on attending the wedding, and see how I feel about the reception. I drove solo with my daughter to visit some friends about 2.5 hours away when she was 3 or 4 weeks old and it was totally fine, so there is a possibilty you might change your mind about going to the reception depending on how you feel! I would have your husband talk to his mom and let her know that you will be doing whatever you feel is best regarding the wedding and reception, it is beyond none of her buisness. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    534 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    There’s no way you should go to either event.  You can’t be expected to drag a tiny baby to 2 family events just weeks after you’ve given labor.

    As for your husband, it’s really up to the two of you what you want to do.  I personally think he should skip the wedding and just go to the reception IF he feels like both you and he and the baby are up for it.

    And I agree with @jackieee: – it’s just his cousin, not his sister.  I’d totally understand if my cousin (or sister, for that matter!) couldn’t come to my wedding or reception because he/she had just had a baby.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1132 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Don’t tell MIL to shove it, but neither you nor DH should be attending either of these. IF you feel up to it with your new baby (assuming he or she is born by Nov. 22), you can make a game time decision about whether to go. But until that baby is safely delivered, both you and DH need to stay close to the hospital where they know you and you are prepared to give birth.

    This is YOUR family, YOUR baby, YOUR safety at stake. Especially since your DH’s cousin is being so reasonable, don’t let the older generation pressure you into something that isn’t right for your family. This will be the first of MANY times you will have to put your foot down and stand up for what is best for you and your little one. Good luck! 

    Post # 9
    Member
    2690 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    They can’t demand anything of you… you don’t want to go then don’t.  You have good points.  I don’t think I would want to travel an hour away with a newborn baby either around so many family who will undoubtebly want to see the baby and most likley touch the baby too.

    that said, I went to a wedding with my very newborn baby… he was 2 days old.  It was not my family but I wanted to go and so covered baby up.  It was 20 minutes away and we went to the reception and then left right after dinner.  Baby slept the entire time.  The bride was so thankful we made it and super grateful.  But in your situation, I think I would just pass.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    OMG. How incredibly rude. Um, if this were my DH and I, neither myself or him would be at those festivities. Especially since you could go past your due date, and then he or you are an hour away from your hospital?! And their attitude like you’re doing something wrong??? No way. Save yourself the stress mamma!

    Post # 11
    Member
    5283 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I chose the tell MIL to shove it option! How dare they tell you what to do!!! If it were me I wouldnt go to either!!

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    2184 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

    Wow. Neither myself nor my husband would be attending either, I think. i will say one of my bridesmaids came to my wedding three weeks after she gave birth– totally her call, and I gave her every out possible. 

    You shouldn’t be pressured into something like this, and his mom is being super insensitive. Your baby is incredibly important, and it’s important for you and your husband to have that time with your newborn– especially if you’re still in the darn hospital!! 

    Post # 14
    Member
    917 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I can totally see why you (rightly) don’t want to deal with this wedding. I also think your DH’s family is being way too pushy. That said, I don’t see any reason, in the event that you and the baby are comfortably at home by the 22nd, why he can’t attend the reception alone for a few hours. Unless he’s as sick of his family as their behavior must be making him. Then just stay home together and send a heartfelt card.

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Who are these people… and all their demands?

    Seriously… Hubby come without you ?  Bring a tiny new baby to a Wedding ?

    CRAZY CONCEPTS

    You and your Husband are now married and therefore very much a SOCIAL UNIT onto yourselves… and with a Baby in the picture you are YOUR OWN FAMILY

    And as such… BOTH of these give you FULL RIGHTS (and as adults) to make up your own minds on what is and isn’t going to work for you BOTH / FAMILY

    I hear your concerns.  And they are very valid.  I probably wouldn’t want to travel so far on a day so close to my Due Date either.  And if I wasn’t going, and was PREGNANT WITH OUR CHILD… then naturally my Husband would want to be with me… and wherever I was… not at some “social” event… no matter if it was for a family member or not.

    And after the arrival of the Baby, my Hubby wouldn’t be attending either.  He’d be home “bonding” with the new baby, and seeing to his NEW FAMAILY’s NEEDS… mine, the baby.  Period.

    UNDERSTANDABLE… RATIONAL

    Your Inlaws are being IRRATIONAL !!

    Your Hubby needs to tell them THE TWO OF YOU (and BABY) won’t be attending… BEFORE, DURING or AFTER the Birth.  Sorry but it just isn’t possible.  The timing isn’t do-able.  You have far more pressing things going on in the life of YOUR FAMILY… (and I’d make it clear that YOUR FAMILY… means him & you… and the one you two are creating… so that there is NO CONFUSION that Your Family would mean “Your Parents” etc)

    Sheeesh, some people.

    (( HUGS ))

     

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