Post # 1
Company has given 2 months notice. Dont know how to react. Tell Fiancee, Tell family. Or just hide facts?
Feeling suicidal. Future looks blank. Dreams shattered.
Just here to vent out the frustration:( and get some words of advice.
Post # 2
If you’re really feeling suicidal, you need to call the suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Now, about your future and dreams, you have 2 months to think things over. If your fiancee is wonderful (and she better be, because she’s marrying you), she will be your ROCK through this. Tell her, and you will figure it out together. Use support systems as much as you can.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Post # 3
Like PP said, if you are actaully suicidal, you need to call the hotline. Otherwise, you need to discuss this with your FI and family and get some emotional support.
If you are choosing to marry someone, you choose to share the ups and downs – they need to know and you can come up with a plan together! Please, don’t hide it from her. I would be substantially more upset if my DH was laid off and didnt tell me, than if he was laid off and we could figure out a plan together. You have 2 months, thats a lot of time, the wedding will be over by then!
Post # 4
+1 to those who say if you are feeling suicidal and not just using that as a manner of speech, then you should get help right away.
It’s understandable that you would feel horrible after getting this news but you need to first accept that there is no shame in being laid off. This isn’t the kind of news that you should feel that you have to keep hidden. Whether or not you choose to tell your future in-laws is up to you, and to a lesser extent your fiance (my fi and i believe that our financial health is our business and not our parents, so we would probably not go out of our way to tell our parents if either of us were laid off, but we also wouldn’t hide it if someone asked us about work), but you absolutely must tell your fiance. Your finances and his/hers are interdependent on each other. You’re starting your life together. You need to be open with the things that upset you, and allow your fiance to help you emotionally and financially.
As for shattered dreams and ruined lives, that’s a bit of an extreme statement. You will find another job. It may not pay as much. It may not happen overnight. There may be difficult times ahead. Or you might find an even better job tomorrow. Or next year. Or three jobs down the line. The point is, there WILL be other income and other jobs in the future. Your life is not ruined. At worst, you may have to scale your spending back and delay some of those dreams.
Post # 5
Agree with PP. Call the hotline.
Gettig laid off is NOT the end of the world. You will be able to get unemployement and you can look for another job.
Post # 6
Please don’t feel like your life is over. I promise you it’s not! You just have to hold on through this difficult time. You have two months to figure out some plans. And if you can’t find something perfect within that two months, guess what? You’ll still be fine! Some things just take time. Many of us have had doors close in our faces and felt like there was no where to turn, only to find a great opportunity down the road. Don’t give up! I always say your set back is a set up for your comeback.
Try talking to your fiancé, any support systems you have, and even us. And if you feel suicidal, call the hotline. 1-800-273-8255
Post # 7
This really sucks but you WILL be able to get through it! Definitely tell your fiancee. She should be supportive of you and together you can cut spending and save what you can these next two months.
Take a second to breathe and start job hunting. Even for part time work if that’s what you need to do. I don’t know where you’re from, but where I’m from there is a grocery store, ALDI, that is always hiring and for like $12/hr to start. So it’s not the BEST but it’s great simple work for being between jobs.
You can do this! It truly is a tragic thing to go through but you’re not alone!
Post # 8
You will feel so much better once you tell your fiancé. Life is not always easy and the people close to you are your support system. Tell him, get it over with, grieve the loss of your job, and start picking up the pieces.
Post # 9
Also, if you have to, you can talk to vendors about post-poning the wedding. Or post poning the honeymoon.
You can’t control layoffs, there is no shame in it. You can tell your family because you’ll need support through this.
Post # 10
Thanks for the advice people.
Now the only reason i am/was considering concealing the facts from family is because it will be a ‘jolt for them’ and will take it to heart. I dont want to do anything that will harm them at this age.
I am completely confident of getting a new job, the time frame for which will be uncertain.
Post # 11
Its not an easy feeling. I lost my job on October 19th (our wedding is in December). Fortunately my fiance has been AMAZING and helping out/paying bills. I have been looking for a job since and have not had much luck. It’s not easy BUT things can always work out! 🙂 Keep your head up! During our 14 month engagement, my FI lost his job, and now I have lost mine. We have made it thru both unscathed so far!! 🙂
Post # 12
Your older family members who will take your job loss as a ‘jolt’ probably went through the depression, so they’re probably not strangers to job loss!
Your FI is marrying you ‘for richer or for poorer’. This is the brief moment of poorer. Hiding things, keeping secrets and bottling up your feelings will just lead to a worse situation. Be entirely honest with your FI, if nobody else. Things will start to look up, but hiding anything from your FW is not going to help you at all.
Post # 13
ItsNotOkay: When trouble hits, bond with your partner. Don’t try to sort it all out on your own. You can be the hero and be confident, but still include her and work as a team. If you do, you will be stronger together. This too shall pass.
Post # 14
ItsNotOkay: Maybe you can break the news to them more gently by saying something like “I’ve been given notice that I’ll be laid off in 2 months but the job market is good in my field and I’m confident I’ll find something soon”. You know, break the bad news but with hope.
Post # 15
Your troubles will seem much more difficult/impossible/unmanagable if you force yourself to go through them alone.