Post # 1
Today was a bad day. One of my previous posts talks about my maid of honour quitting (one week ago exactly), and since I’m getting married at the camp she’s working at… things have been getting messed up.
So from what I’ve figured out, the camp director started a rumour about us, which he told to the program director whaich he told to his “friend”, the maid of honour. They claim to have no romantic interest in each other, which apparently makes it okay for them to talk as much as they want and cuddle during group activities, but my fiance and I weren’t evensupposed to look at each other if we could avoid it. Anyways, by the time she heard it it sounded pretty awful.
I tried to explain some things to her using a personal story that I trusted her with. But now it appears that she told the program director who told the camp director. Today he called FFIL (our pastor and officiant) about all the problems he has with our relationship. First of all, most of the things aren’t at all true, and the ones that are are massively twisted and embellished. Now the story is that we forced MOH to go clubbing with us a few months ago (I didn’t even want to go, another friend took us all and MOH was super excited). Also, the director told FFIL that FI and I had huge arguments where we were shouting and I was crying the entire time we were there. We had one serious talk about how I was worried about his bachelor party.
Long story short FFIL almost refused to do the wedding. He eventually decided to, but now it feels like everyone will just be upset at our wedding and that they’ll all be counting down the days until we divorce. Isn’t this supposed to be a happy time?
I guess I don’t really know what I’m asking, this whole thing just sucks. I thought the rumours and gossip were supposed to end with high school, not get started by a grown man.
Post # 3
@Tigerlilybride: Sorry this is happening. Don’t let it affect you too much (I know, easier said than done). But as long as you and FI know the truth & love each other, stay strong & don’t let the haters win. (Hugs)
Post # 4
@Kili: Thanks 🙂 Actually this whole thing has brought us even closer together and made us realize just how much we really do love each other.
Post # 5
@Tigerlilybride: I can’t say I even entirely understand what you posted.
Why is its anyone’s business if you went to a club or got into a spat months ago?
Are you or FIL family ultra-religious, as in the type it’s some big deal you went out for drinks?
How old are you and FI? I’m guessing pretty young if gossip or petty drama can still cause this kind of friction or upset. It will get easier because as you get older you can just cut out the drama prone and gossipy people out of your life.
Post # 6
I also don’t really understand why any of this matters to anyone. Did you work at the camp? Is it a religious camp? heh!?
Post # 7
Add me to the confused list.
Post # 8
The whole thing sounds kind of catty and immature in my opinion. I’m not sure I would want people like that involved in my wedding, or in my life for that matter. Is there a reason these people are involved? Is there another venue available? How do they even know who will be your officiant/pastor, etc? It seems kind of ridiculous for another person to be contacting your person of clergy, rather than bring up any concerns directly to you. I’m in my 30’s and I don’t have folks like that in my life. I agree with Mirna. I think it will get easier as you get older and develop different relationships.
Post # 9
I am also confused.
Just enjoy your wedding! This whole thing sounds very unimportant in the larger picture (i.e. being married for 50+ years). Why did your FFIL get so involved and almost not want to marry you? That part concerns me the most.
Also, why do people think everyone won’t be happy at the wedding? Doesn’t think rumor only involve like 3 people? Or has it spread more?
Post # 10
confused as well. regardless, try to ignore whether “everyone else” is upset or not and try to enjoy yourself
Post # 11
Thanks everyone 🙂 We just got back from our honeymonn and I have to say, our wedding was wonderful. Sorry it was confusing, but yes we are young and religious. However most of the people starting and spreading those rumours werenot (the noldest isnearly 40). We do work at that camp, which is also religious. MIL is very against drinking, so to her anything with alcohol is a big deal.
In the end of all this I got married, I lost a couple friends but now I get to spend my life with my best friend of all 🙂