Post # 1
I was out to dinner with my FMIL,FFIL, FSIL and FI and my FMIL asked me if we can send out wedding announcements. I was so confused and replied of course I am picking out save the dates soon and everyone will get one pretty early. She said no not save the dates and then explained to me that this is an announcement to all the people who were not invited to the wedding. I was a bit shocked, she said this is a southern tradition (I’m from New York) and that southern family and friends not invited would just love to give us a gift.
Now I may be wrong here…but I can’t imagine anyone no matter where you are from getting excited about receiving stationary in the mail saying Hi! We got married, it was beautiful but sorry you were not invited but here is where I am registered at:
She said since we are having such a small wedding that this is appropriate. I just know if I got one of these from a friend I would be a little surprised and probably not send a gift lol.
What do you bees think? I feel like in this day and age thats what facebook is for. Everyone will see the relationship status to Married and they can “like it”
Maybe I’m just misunderstanding this custom! I am not opposed to it…maybe I just need a better understanding.
Post # 3
I think it’s a good way to let people know that you got married. Sometimes with extended family, they don’t really know what’s going on in your life so they may not know about the marriage for awhile if you didn’t announce it. I’ve never thought of wedding (or baby) announcements as a reason to send a gift. I just take it as a useful FYI.
Post # 4
We originally had 100ish people on our guest list, but after pricing things, we’re trying to get it down to 50, 75 at the most. The people we’re cutting are mostly friends of our parents who live out of state. You know, the ones I’ve met once, but continue to send a christmas/birthday card every year just the same? I’m planning on sending announcements to them so they know we wish they could have been there [even though they most likely wouldn’t come anyway], and that way I’m not being rude since they make an effort to keep in touch with me. I wouldn’t include registry information on there. That seems a bit forward to me. If they feel the urge to send a check or gift, that’s totally up to them. I’m doing it more as a courtesy that we thought of them, but couldn’t afford for them to possibly drive 12 hours to see us.
Post # 5
Maybe put your wedding website instead of actual registry info.
I think it’s nice if you’re having a very small wedding but you want to let your address book know your new name/address/and that something cool is happening. It’s like a graduation announcement or baby announcement.
Post # 6
Can you compromise and tell her she can put an announcement in the paper?
That way if a friend of hers feels like they’d really like to get you a gift or say congrats, they can contact FMIL.
Ive never heard of sending cards out, but my mom did want to put a wedding announcement in the town paper – which I thought was old fashioned and a bit cheesy, but, not a big deal if it makes mom happy.
Post # 8
Sorry, but the FILs are correct. You certainly don’t have to send announcements, but it is traditional southern etiquette. You don’t have to send them to everybody if you think your friends would be put off, but if they think their people would appreciate an announcement, they probably will. Don’t expect presents, but they may come. They are optional after recieving a marriage announcement. And we Southerners don’t give up tradition easily – we still reenact the civil war. So I think it’s going to take awhile for us to embrace facebook as an appropriate communication outlet for things like weddings!
Post # 9
@mandypop: FMIL asked for newspaper and announcements. I agreed to the newspaper since she lives in a very small town and the paper is a big deal to everyone, I figured why not, it is definitely cheesy! Fiance even had a prom announcement in the paper….totally serious lol.
The announcements I may just say if Fiance wants to notify members of his extended family/family friends he’s more than welcome to send out announcements. I know they wont be received well on my end! The website is a good idea as well but so far in planning I already feel like I need so much stationary I can’t think about more lol.
Post # 10
My mom says I should just send out thank yous to everybody who attended. And since I’m having a low key wedding, why announce it across the charts by sending out announcments.