(Closed) Wedding announcements? Would this be considered a “gift grab”?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think sending out wedding annoucements would be sweet and charming.  It would be rude and unkind for anyone to interpret an annoucement as a solicitation for dry goods or cash.

I believe that I read that announcements should be mailed immediately after the ceremony (day of or ASAP afterwards) but check a Miss Manners book to be sure – you can probably also get some guidance on the wording.

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

IMO I would send out announcements after and maybe include a picture from your day. That way it just looks like you’re wanting to share your joy and give them a chance to see your day.

Post # 5
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree- send them after.  I have heard that they are supposed to be sent out RIGHT after the ceremony, but I agree with Aumuller that it would be nice to include a picture, so perhaps within a day or so?  So long as you don’t print on them registry information, you should be fine.

Post # 6
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think the announcement, well intentioned as it is, wouldn’t go over very well.

Were I you, I would deputize a few of my chattiest cousins, auts or bridesmaids to get the word out that you’re having a very small wedding.  And don’t be shy about chatting with people about the wedding if they ask. 

Post # 7
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Do you already live together?  If not, an announcement would also be a good way to get your new address out to everyone.

I always try to put myself in other’s shoes.  If you received an announcement, how would you feel?  If I knew that it was a small ceremony with family only, I would have no problem receiving an announcement.  If I suspected that it was a gift-grab, then I would probably be insulted.  It really depends on who you’re sending it to and whether they’re aware of the reasons you’re having a small ceremony.

Post # 10
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I really don’t see how this is much different then sending out birth announcements or graduation announcements.  If they choose to send a gift that is fine but totally not obligated.

Post # 11
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

My MIL got one from a very, very distant family member. She said it was awkward and weird, very “gift grabby” since she didn’t even hardly know the girl anymore. I think it really depends on the person. I would think, “oh cool they got married!” if i got a wedding announcement. I’d want to see some photos, for sure =]

Post # 12
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i would send it as soon as you get pictures back. i agree with caszos — i don’t see how it’s different from other announcements. some people will be offended no matter what you do, so do whatever you think is best.

Post # 13
Member
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

if you send out some sort of holiday card, could you include it in that somehow? most years, i write a personal letter about what i’ve done throughout the year – so maybe you could do that and it wouldn’t seem anything out of the ordinary.

Post # 14
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@lolisa: Ah, I see.  Sorry!

In that case, I agree with PPs.

Post # 15
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The lesser of the evils is to send it AFTER the wedding. Include a photo for sure. That’s all there is to it. Stop thinking about it now. Cool

Post # 16
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I second the idea of coupling the announcement with a holiday card or new years newsletter so as to avoid any possible insults. 

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