MusicLove716: I think you’ve already answered your own question, but are too worried to believe that you’re just worrying!!!
It’s definitely normal to wonder about and analyse such a big decision; however, it’s not normal for it to be causing you this much distress. The big question is are you worrying because that’s in your nature, or because there is a legitimate concern that this might not be right for you.
Sometimes we need help from objective people to find the overall truth in our situation. Our internal voices can really twist the facts. If you don’t feel like you have a helpful close friend or family member that you could discuss this with, it might be worth trying to make an appointment with a counsellor. It would be such a shame if you were still having these feelings so intensely at the time of your wedding, as they would get in the way of you truly enjoying such a joyous occasion.
If you don’t want to talk to anyone about this, you could try doing a little exercise by yourself. Next time you are having these feelings, get a pen and paper and write out every little thought you are having. Then go through them, one by one, and identify whether they’re really true, false, or if you don’t know.
For instance, you may be having the thought ‘I might get an opportunity for the perfect job in another city, but FI won’t want to move’ and once you look at it, you may realise that this is not true. Your FI might find a job there also, or be willing to do long distance work, or split his time between two places etc. The assumption that he wouldn’t is false.
Once you’ve gone through all the thoughts, then you can see more clearly what the overall truth of the situation is, and decide how you want to be with the situation. This may or may not be something that works for you, but I thought I’d throw it out there as I know I find it useful at times when I feel overwhelmed by my thoughts.
Apologies for the long post. I hope you are taking care of yourself and being gentle with yourself too. Wishing you the very best and hoping some clarity comes your way soon.