Post # 1
I’m having major wedding anxiety right now. I’m super excited to marrying my FI, but not happy to have all the people there witnessing it. We decided to have a small desitnation wedding because of my anxiety, but it hit me hard last night. I love everyone that is going to be there this weekend, I’m just having a hard time handling it.
I’ve wanted to elope since day one, and this is as close to it at FI would let me get. He didn’t want to make both families super mad about them not witnessing our marriage.
The wedding is on Saturday, and right now I don’t want to see anyone. I don’t want to be on display, I want to go back to my corner and hide. I hated my wedding shower because I was the center of attention and it was the same trying on wedding dresses.
I love my FI very much, and I’m too far in now to back out of the wedding. I just want to be married and for life to go back to normal. I don’t know what to do?! I’m trying to put on my big girl panties and suck it up…but, it’s hard to do.
Post # 3
First, take a deep breath! Second, know that your feelings are 100% justified. My advice in this situation would be to remember what the day is really about. Remember that you’re there to marry your FI, to start a new life together, and that’s it. I think it’s hard sometimes to remember that, even if we don’t have anxiety about being on display for our entire families.
I would have a talk with your FI to relieve some of your anxities, and just ask that he be super considerate of how you’re feeling that day. And remember, you can do whatever you want for your wedding. If you don’t want to walk down the aisle alone, don’t! Maybe meet your FI at the end and walk together down the aisle, or don’t walk at all! To be honest, you need to focus on how important this is to you, and not making everyone else happy in the situation. Do whatever it takes to make your wedding day what you want (even if you can’t elope).
Post # 4
I can understand how you feel because I feel the same way. Unfortunately, I have to deal with a larger traditional wedding in about five months. Just thinking about it makes me really anxious.
I agree that you need try your best to focus on the fact that you are getting married, not that you are having a wedding. Focus on your excitement of your future together and try to push everything else to the back of your mind. On the big day just remember to breathe and try to relax…and a little champagne never hurt anyone 🙂
Post # 5
You’re definitely not alone. I had an upset tummy all morning on the day of our wedding because all attention was on me, and it was stressing me out. I was pretty much like that all day, but honestly, I enjoyed the majority of the day anyway.
I agree with sarafoxy. Talk to your FI. See if you can come up with some ideas together that will alleviate your anxiety. I also agree about the walking down the aisle thing. Maybe before walking down the aisle, you guys can walk toward each other from separate sides, meet at the beginning of the aisle, and walk down together.
I found that talking about the stress always helped me. I even BALLED during our rehearsal dinner because it was all getting to me, and after, I felt so much better, and I was able to enjoy the rest of the dinner.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2010 - Heron Hill Winery
How anxious are you? Is it impeding on your ability to function? I know it may be too late, but you can speak with your Dr. and see if they can give you something for the anxiety….I would also recommend talking to your FI about your stress perhaps this will help calm yourself a bit.
“There are certain herbs which on included in the food supplements will definitely prove helpful in reducing the level of anxiousness and fear. These include chamomile, skullcap, orange blossom, cloves, balm, thyme, lavender, hops, wood betony and much more.”
I would also suggest maybe a spa treatment to calm your nerves…I hope you can get through this deary! Best wishes.
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2018 - Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay
This does sound like crippling anxiety & I am so sorry to hear that you are experiencing it! I’ve been there myself and it is no fun 🙁
If you have time, consider going to your doctor today & seeing if there is something he/she can presribe for you – perhaps a very low dose of Xanax or something similar. Also, consider scheduling a massage on Saturday morning or any other time that you may have in the next two days. Best of luck to you!
Post # 8
I would definitely agree to just try to minimize the “traditional” things that would put ALL EYES on you– eliminate things like walking down the aisle, walking into the reception under a big announcement fanfare, having everyone watch your first dance, throwing the bouquet, etc.
I think the wedding shower can be much more stressful than the wedding day, for people with social anxiety– everyone’s sitting around in a circle staring at you, and watching to see your reaction to the gifts, asking you tons of questions, etc. Whereas with the wedding day, there’s much more to do (dinner, dancing, drinking, etc.), so all eyes won’t be on you the whole time.
Maybe instead of focusing on it being 20 sets of eyes on you, you can break it down to the individuals. Instead of thinking of it as this HUGE group, can you think of the actual people who will be witnessing, and sort of work through those emotions.
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
I’m so sorry that you’re feeling this way! I agree with the ladies above who said to see if your doctor can help. Just know that no matter what, after Saturday, the wedding will be over and you will be married. Try to focus on that!
Post # 10
Oh Vanilla! I’m so sorry that this is happening to you! Definitely talk to your fiance to let him know about your anxiety, and if it helps, try visualizing your wedding ceremony as just you and him. Hopefully some positive visualization can help to relax you. I also second the idea of talking to your doctor ASAP. I know Saturday is really soon, but hopefully there is time for your doctor to prescribe something for your anxiety.
Post # 11
Thanks everyone for your advice. I live in the middle of no where NM…meaning no doctors that will treat me near by. (I live on a reservation and they have weird laws.) My doctor is in Texas, and I ran out of Xanax during finals in December. My mom (who is a walking pharmacy) never leaves the house without her Xanax. She knows that I’ve been having issues through this entire wedding planning process, so, she will make sure I’m able to get down the aisle…one way or another.
I have already eliminated the first dance, entrance and exit to the reception, and bouquet toss. Pretty much everything I can. My dad is walking me down the aisle so I won’t have to do that by myself. I’m not allowed to see FI after the rehearsal dinner, until the wedding ceremony. I hate all of the wedding “rules” that exist. But, our families are very traditional, so, we’re doing the best we can to make them happy.
I’m really excited about Sunday, because we will be married and we’re adopting a dog next weekend. FI and I are more excited about the dog than we are about the wedding. Sad, I know.
Thanks again everyone! You’re all amazing!