Post # 1
What would you do in my situation? I was recently married. While our wedding was a destination wedding, we had more people than we ever would imagine. It was great but unfortunately a very very close relative of mine chose not to come. She never told me personally she wasn’t able to make it. Wouldn’t return my text. Didn’t return the rsvp card. Never said congratulations etc. Normally this wouldn’t bother me. I can accept that not everyone can make it for a wedding. But this is the one case where it really hurt my feelings. I haven’t even spoke with her since my wedding. Now here is my dilemma… She just sent me an invitation to her wedding. Im not really sure how to respond. Im so hurt and bitter over her actions. What is the right thing to do?
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta
@Agretzner: I would assume it was money related and she was too embarassed to tell you. There are very few weddings I would go out of my way to attend, because of financial reasons and it would have to be a destination I would really enjoy to vacation. If hers is non destination then I think you should go.
Post # 4
@Agretzner: I would clarify things beforehand. I find it rude that she didn’t bother to even respond back. Before you make any decision, just try to talk to her and see what’s up. If again she’s ignoring you, don’t go.
Post # 5
@Agretzner: I don’t think you can expect anyone to spend tons of money to come to your destination wedding, but it is really rude that she never even sent back the RSVP card, and ignored you before the wedding. Did you let her know that you understood if she couldn’t make it? If not, maybe she was worried that you were mad at her. If you’re really good friends, you should just call her and talk with her about it.
Post # 6
@Agretzner: The right thing to do is reply promptly with your regrets that you will be unable to attend.
Post # 7
@Pixienickie: Thank you for your response.
Financial problems was the case for some people and thats totally understandable. Unfortunately, I dont think that was the case for her. My father paid for the hotel rooms for the rest of our family. She didn’t even have to pay to get there. While there may be another perfectly good reason, Im sure Ill never know.
I will have to buy plane tickets and rent a vehicle to go to her wedding. I woukd have been more than happy to do this before. Now Im not so sure.
Post # 8
I understand that you’re upset and you have every right to be. However, an eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind.
Post # 9
I’d do exactly the same to her. That’s just how I am.
Post # 10
I would very badly want to stoop to her level and do the exact same thing she did, but I’d probably just reply ‘No’ and give no further details than that.
Post # 11
I would go out of my way to do the opposite. I would be sure to send back my RSVP immediately and call/text to make sure she got it. If you don’t go, I would send her a congratulatory card.
Post # 12
I probably wouldn’t respond to the rsvp and wouldn’t go. Not because she didn’t go to your destination wedding. It’s understandable not everyone can go to that type of wedding. But for her incredibly rude actions leading up to the wedding. She didn’t rsvp to your wedding, I wouldn’t rsvp to hers.
Post # 13
I would presume that her response card must have been lost in the mail and that she did attempt to let you know she wasn’t coming. If you would rather not attend her wedding, simply decline the invitation politely and in the manner in which you received it
Post # 14
@Agretzner: You are not even required to go to the weddings of people who DID attend yours. Ultimately, it was pretty rude of her not to respond, whatever the reasons behind it. If the RSVP got lost in the mail surely she would have responded to the text. She was avoiding you.
I think you should clear the air if you used to be close. However, if you’re not ready to do that and you still have bitter feelings just send the decline on the RSVP card. No explanation necessary.