(Closed) Wedding attendance etiquette

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
969 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta

@Agretzner:  I would assume it was money related and she was too embarassed to tell you. There are very few weddings I would go out of my way to attend, because of financial reasons and it would have to be a destination I would really enjoy to vacation. If hers is non destination then I think you should go. 

Post # 4
2896 posts
Sugar bee

@Agretzner:  I would clarify things beforehand. I find it rude that she didn’t bother to even respond back. Before you make any decision, just try to talk to her and see what’s up. If again she’s ignoring you, don’t go. 

Post # 5
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@Agretzner:  I don’t think you can expect anyone to spend tons of money to come to your destination wedding, but it is really rude that she never even sent back the RSVP card, and ignored you before the wedding. Did you let her know that you understood if she couldn’t make it? If not, maybe she was worried that you were mad at her. If you’re really good friends, you should just call her and talk with her about it.

Post # 6
2613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Agretzner:  The right thing to do is reply promptly with your regrets that you will be unable to attend.

Post # 8
8974 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I understand that you’re upset and you have every right to be. However, an eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind.

Post # 9
8475 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d do exactly the same to her. That’s just how I am. 

Post # 10
10456 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I would very badly want to stoop to her level and do the exact same thing she did, but I’d probably just reply ‘No’ and give no further details than that. 

Post # 11
11850 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would go out of my way to do the opposite.  I would be sure to send back my RSVP immediately and call/text to make sure she got it.  If you don’t go, I would send her a congratulatory card.  

Post # 12
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I probably wouldn’t respond to the rsvp and wouldn’t go. Not because she didn’t go to your destination wedding. It’s understandable not everyone can go to that type of wedding. But for her incredibly rude actions leading up to the wedding. She didn’t rsvp to your wedding, I wouldn’t rsvp to hers. 

Post # 13
11227 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would presume that her response card must have been lost in the mail and that she did attempt to let you know she wasn’t coming. If you would rather not attend her wedding, simply decline the invitation politely and in the manner in which you received it

Post # 14
7279 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Agretzner:  You are not even required to go to the weddings of people who DID attend yours. Ultimately, it was pretty rude of her not to respond, whatever the reasons behind it. If the RSVP got lost in the mail surely she would have responded to the text. She was avoiding you. 

I think you should clear the air if you used to be close. However, if you’re not ready to do that and you still have bitter feelings just send the decline on the RSVP card. No explanation necessary. 

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