Post # 1
Well, I had my first wedding that I attended as an adult, on my own, without my parents. I got the gift from myself and SO and had specifically asked the bride what she wanted most on her list and ended up getting them two baking pans, oven mitt, pot holders, wisk, spoons, etc. and made it all pretty and stuff. She has not stated whether or not she liked it, but I’m pretty sure she did because it was exactly what she wanted. I doubt I’m going to be getting a thank you because the wedding invitation was a Facebook event unless you were grandparents/aunts/uncles. I spent around $30 (retail over $60) on everything total because I used coupons and got stuff on sale. I’m a college student as well living with SO, both of us at low-pay jobs.
I already know there are more weddings coming up since we’re all growing up and being responsible and stuff. My question though is, knowing I have these weddings coming up and everyone knowing I am in college with a crappy-pay job, is it wrong or rude to be spending under $100 for each wedding gift, even if it is exactly what they want? Would they know? Will it matter? Thanks for any advice!
Post # 3
psh. I’d be happy that you showed up more than anything else!
Post # 4
Only a really selfish person would judge you for spending what you can afford on a (thoughtful) wedding gift.
Post # 5
I’m sure they know how much you spent if they registered for it. It doesn’t really matter how much you spend, the thought and gesture were nice! But I have found that friends gave me for my wedding exactly what I gave them.
Post # 6
I don’t think its wrong at all- too many people nowadays think that a wedding is a business transaction and that their attendees should give a gift that is worth what they are spending per person. I disagree with that completely and believe that you just being there is what is most important.
Post # 7
@Booknerd: If retail was $30 and the gift came from a couple, I would find that quite cheap of you, regardless of wanting it or not. The $60 retail value is much more reasonable coming from a couple. She doesn’t have to know you used coupons.
Post # 8
If it was my wedding I would just be happy that you even came to celebrate with me and I wouldn’t care about the gift.. I’m not getting married for presents.
Post # 9
I do that all the time – I aim for a $50 or $75 gift, but try to find 40% off coupons. The bride/groom doesnt need to know.
Also, when we opened wedding gifts, it was amazing to see what the difference was. I had an aunt and uncle give us $40 (which was reasonable since they have about 40 neices/nephews all around my age) and I had not very good friends of the family spend $1000. So really, it’s about acknowledging the marriage – not about how much you spend.
Post # 10
@drummerbride: No, retail was around $60 but I was able to spend only $30 with coupons and sales. Just a lucky day shopping I got.
@red_pepper_gal: Oh, good.
But also, I feel like everyone knowing we’re college kids that they would not expect that much from us, even if we are a couple. Or because we’re a couple, we should expect to spend closer to $100 because we have two incomes?
Post # 11
I think that if it is something they want/will enjoy you are fine. And honestly if they are upset and think you cheaped out then maybe you don’t want to be friends with them or you just won’t be close family members. But I think a gift is a gift and is ment to be apreciated no matter what it cost.
Post # 12
You got things off of the registery (big checkmark).
You’re a student. You managed to get $60 retail. I’d say that’s pretty darn good. (well done on the savings!)
They will be (should be!!) happy that you were able to make it and spend the day with them, plus touched that despite being a student with your own wedding to save for, you gave them a gift.
Post # 13
I don’t think it’s rude at all. You gift what you can afford. If you can afford $100, awesome! If all you can afford is a home-made card, then that’s perfectly great too. People who judge someone and their gift based on the value of the gift then they are being rude.
If it makes you feel better though, the good majority of our gifts were between $50 and $100 per couple.