(Closed) Wedding attire

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

No wording on invitations. That’s bad etiquitte-

Use word of mouth.

Post # 4
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

Your website would be a GREAT place to put that information! And you don’t have to worry so much about how to word it if it’s on the website. On our website, I said, "Attire: Dressy Casual (which I considered to be different then Casual Dress… but only the girls got that, hehe!), sundresses and/or khakis are more than welcome!" From my experience, you’ll end up getting a lot of questions the week or two weeks before the wedding. And no matter what you’ll still end up with at least one person who is over dressed or under dressed compared to everyone else, so don’t worry too much about it. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
2293 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I have never heard that it is poor etiquette to specify the formality of dress on the invitation.  In particular, when I have been invited to a formal (black tie or white tie) event, either the invitation or the reception card has always specified.  Generally the dress is indicated at the bottom of the invitation or reception card, in small lettering.  For a formal event you would say something like "black tie optional" or "black tie invited."  For your event, you would specify something like "business casual," which would include jeans or chinos and polo shirts but not shorts or t-shirts.

People who are fairly invitation savvy should be able to discern the attire from your invitations.  For instance, if you are having a casual wedding (and it sounds like you are) your invitation wording and addressing would be "Jane and John Smith" rather than "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith."  We wanted a fairly casual (although not jeans) event, and so our invitations say "Jane and John Smith invite you to join in celebrating of the marriage of their daughter…"  Obviously less formal than "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the honor of your presence…"

Also your invitation style should reflect the formality of the event, and your venue should be a clue.  If you have a very formal looking engraved or letterpress invitation with formal wording and an inner and outer envelope, and you address it in a formal manner, your guests should assume that the dress will be at least semi-formal. 

Post # 6
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Yeah, I have also never heard that putting attire on the invitation is bad etiquette. I’ve actually heard it recommended, and I always find it helpful. I think business casual should do the trick (as suzanno noted). If people don’t know what that means, a simple internet search will help them out.

Post # 7
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Actually, according to Emily Post =) here’s what she has to say: http://www.emilypost.com/everyday/attire.htm and "Sport Casual" is what you’re probably looking for, but this is the first I’ve heard of it, so that may be the same for a lot of your guests.

Post # 8
Member
2293 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I would have no idea what Sport Casual means, but I would probably assume it is similar to Golf Attire, which would allow shorts but not jeans, require a shirt with a collar for the men, and either a collar or sleeves for the women.  Not Emily’s definition at all!  Most people are familiar with the term Business Casual though, and understand its limitations.

Post # 9
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Emily Post’s version of things isn’t always normal, understandable lingo :-).  While I like the term business casual, to me, that means khakis and not jeans, which is what you’re hoping they will wear, right?

It sounds like you’re going for a more casual feel at your wedding, so why not be a little more fun and free on the invitation, too?  Come right out and say, "Festive Casual Attire. Jeans and Polos Encouraged."

The word "festive" lets them know to dress up a little, but you are specifying that jeans are OK, too.  Bottom line, many people will check with you on what you meant, and some people’s version of nice jeans is pretty sad (and ruins causual Friday for many of us!) and will show up a little sloppier than others. 

But who cares?  You’ll be too busy reveling on the day of the wedding, so do what you can and enjoy!

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