Ok, a bit of history here about Weddings & Rings might help.
For most of the 20th Century… 1900s… the era I am most familiar with, as I was born mid-century… so have been witness to both my Grandmother’s Rings (married 1922) and my own Mother’s Rings (married 1950), as well as Relatives in her generation (Aunts etc)… as well as my own First Marriage (1980)… I can say that either Women wore ONLY a Wedding Band… a custom that is still common in Europe… or they received a “Bridal Set” that was made up of a Matching ERing & WBand.
My Grandmother wore only a plain gold WBand… I don’t believe there ever was an ERing.
My Mother (and her sisters, cousins etc) all wore a Bridal Set be they married in the 1940s, 50s or 60s.
I got engaged at the end of the 1970s, and Bridal Sets were still the norm. And “interlocking” rings were the big thing, such as this one shown, which looks a lot like my Original Set (but this isn’t my rings)
PHOTO – 1980s interlocking Bridal Set
The practice of getting seperate ERings & WBands is pretty new.
So your guy is probably relying on what he knows based on “tradition” either from a book, or from what he’s seen done (Relatives who have raised him / given him advice etc) or his Peers.
Nothing wrong with that. He truly wants to do the RIGHT THING… in the situation so he isn’t embarrassed by a potential faux pas (judged by someone else)
As for Men’s WBands.
These are relatively new. Men didn’t wear WBands generally until the mid 1900s. The trend really took off with Weddings during the War Years (WWII) when men were going off to Europe and unsure when they’d be coming home again (leave and coming back to NA, was not a thing at all… leave from the front meant going to a safe country such as the UK)
Mens Wedding Bands were for the most part just a plain band… even today these are still the most popular style (without diamonds or gems)… altho things have now branched out into other metals beyond just Gold.
My first marriage, in 1980, and Diamonds & Gemstones were just making their appearance. Signet Rings were quite popular for guys … probably because of the Engagement / Marriage of Princess Di, and Charles wearing his POWales Signet Ring… at any rate it was a style that a lot of Couples (or Brides) were choosing. Often set with one centre diamond, or a grouping such as this one below, and then perhaps the Groom’s Initial
PHOTO – Man’s Diamond Signet Ring
Couples who didn’t have a Bridal Set (or maybe no ERing at all) would often go shop together and buy matching WBands.
Or 3 Ring Sets that all matched… ERing & WBand for her, and WBand for him were also very popular 1960s thru 1980s.
PHOTO – 3 Ring Bridal Set
Couples would often consult on what the man would like to wear… as not all men still wanted to wear WBands
With my First Marriage I consulted somewhat with my Ex, and he said he wanted to wear a WBand. He didn’t really care what it was. I picked it out, he liked it, he wore it.
For my Second Marriage… with Mr TTR who I married over Chrismas, I also consulted. BUT he is a man from this same generation (he’s over 60) who doesn’t wear an WBand… so I bought him a “Wedding Watch” instead, and I also have a plain WBand that fits me that represents a WBand for both of us, in that we BOTH exchanged it during our Ceremony. I slipped it on his finger… well only for a short distance… and said my vow to him. And then he slipped it along with my Sparkly Band onto my finger for his vow to me. In this way, it truly is a WBand that is BOTH of ours… altho I am the only one who wears it
I guess my thinking was similar to yours in this regard…
Man choose’s the Ring for the woman, therefore the Woman chooses the Ring for the Man.
Gift for you, gift for me.
But I also am aware that this is all because of MY OWN Family Traditions and my own expectations / comfort level… in so much as I had a hard time imagining getting married without the Ring Exchange… and this also goes back to my First Marriage, and how broke we were as fresh faced College / Uni Grads… my rings (our rings) weren’t much but I treasured them dearly.
(So much so, that I told my Ex, that if he ever lost his, we’d have to have another Ceremony so that a replacement ring could be blessed)
Rings can be a big deal in a Marriage… be it for the Woman or the Man. So you have to be “sensitive” to where these beliefs may be coming from before you go all hog wild on wanting to change them.
Lol, at my age (over 50) I guess I am more aware of this concept, because I now understand WHY so many get all emotional about Weddings… especially families, Moms etc… A Wedding truly is about the LOVE between two grown people, BUT it also very much the bringing together of two families, to create a NEW Family… and a nod to the future and another branch on the Family Tree. It is very much a touching occasion when someone gives a tip of the hat to Family Traditions & Beliefs…
Example, I myself was conflicted when Mr TTR told me he didn’t wish to wear a WBand. As both my Father, and Ex Hubby had done so. I was hurt in trying to rationalize my way thru a Wedding Ceremony without a Ring EXCHANGE… in the end I found a “creative way” around the issue. And we are both thrilled. And that is all that matters.
Sometimes you have to work a little harder to find something that works… sometimes the answer can be found by objectively looking at BOTH sides, and what ultimately matters. It isn’t just being stuck within the box… sometimes it is a short stretch to get “outside the box”
Hope this helps (somewhat),