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Which band to get? (Stock Pictures Only)
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Wedding Bands? Who pays?

posted 6 months ago in Rings
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    1.
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    Blushing bee
    wbg21    July 20, 2013  

    I know this must seem like a completely strange question, but I want to know... who is "suppose" to pay for the wedding bands? FI's mom said that I am suppose to buy his and he is suppose to buy mine. My mom said that he is suppose to buy both. Then my aunt said that I am suppose to buy both, since he bought my engagement ring.

    Honestly, FI and I work our finances to where it isn't going to matter who swipes their card at purchase, and it certainly isn't going to break "my" bank to make these purchases, I was simply curious.

     
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    Helper bee
    lynashag    January 3, 2017  

    it's up to you as a couple I guess.  talk with your FI and whatever works for you.

     
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    Honey bee
    MASPA    December 2012   East Coast

    Its whatever works for you both.  We bought each others.

     
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    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    mypinkshoes    April 28, 2012   mexico/ontario

    i really don't know.  i guess it's up to the couple.  isn't it usually combined with the wedding budget?

    my dh bought me my diamond eternity band.  it was not cheap.

    we also got me a plain band and i can't remember who paid for it.  dh picked out his band.  i think he paid for it.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    ScottishMrs    July 14, 2012   Ontario, Canada EDD: Jan. 21, 2014

    I've only heard that people buy each others. We used our wedding fund to pay for them both, but I swiped when we got his and he swiped when we got mine. We went shopping together though (well, his was an online purchase but he was there when I ordered it and when I picked it up).

     
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    Helper bee
    nonimouse12    July 24, 2010  

    I always thought you were technically supposed to buy each others. Our money was basically combined at that point, so it didn't really matter who paid, it was 'our'money.

     
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    Helper bee
    patchy    December 12, 2012  

    we bought each others'. whatever works for you! he offered to buy both, but I wanted his ring to symbolically be 'from me'. :}

     
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    Sugar bee
    TwoCityBride    April 1, 2013  

     Tune out your family members and do what YOU and Your FI wants to do.

     

     
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    Bumble bee
    SimpleGifts    June 8, 2013  

    We bought our own.  Mine was more expensive than his and it felt like it was my turn to buy the expensive ring.

     
    10.
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    Blushing bee
    wbg21    July 20, 2013  

    FI and I are in a similiar position, our funds are basically combined, and there is really no "mine" and "yours". I figured FI's mom was correct, she usually always is. Plus, her answer seemed most reasonable. FI is fine with whatever, since ultimately we're both paying for both, it is just a matter of who "swipes".

     
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    Helper bee
    RedWine13    September 28, 2013  

    I swiped the card because his was actually twice the price of mine, but we basically considered our money as the same now. My mom and grandma were not happy that he wasn't officially paying for mine, but didn't press the issue, since really it doesn't matter!

     
    12.
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    Bumble bee
    dewingedpixie    February 24, 2014   DC Metro - Disney World Wedding

    My FI refuses to let me buy the wedding rings. They're both pricey we'll shell about 3k on those rings. I offered to buy his, but he refused to let me. Note FI makes more money and knows it he covers most of our expenses. I cover my phone, car, insurance, my kid, my school costs, 90% of the food costs, and about 50% of the incidentals for the house. FI views all the money as collective even though its in separate accounts though so it doesnt matter at this point in our eyes. If he couldnt cover a bill I'd pay it in a heart beat everything is ours not mine or his. We have the lease in our names and will transfer the cars over in the next few months. I'm his benificiary and legal right of attourney as well. So to us doesnt matter though wont lie he pays the most.

     
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    Honey bee
    GelaMac    January 31, 1998   Nova Scotia Canada

    We split the cost

     
    14.
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    Sugar bee
    6598731ssfse3    November 16, 2012  

    Hmm, honestly I am not really sure who is supposed to buy what. We were pretty untraditional about the whole thing. I paid for half of my e-ring even though he tried to talk me out of it, but I felt it was fair I paid half. Then I bought his ring (super inexpensive) and he paid for most of mine. The reason I said he paid for "most" is because I gave him an amount of $ and he transferred that to me. Then at the last minute I decided on something a little more expensive than what I had originally picked out and just paid the difference myself. I mean we're going to be merging finances anyway, so it doesn't really matter at the end of the day who pays for what.

     
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    Bumble bee
    Magdalena    December 1, 2011  

    Traditionally it's supposed to be your wedding gift to your spouse. So the bride buys the groom's, and the groom buys the bride's. And then you give them their gift at the altar on your wedding day :) That's how we did it but there's really no rule about it! :)

     
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    Bumble bee
    red_pepper_gal    July 7, 2012   Edmonton, Canada

    It was important for me to buy his. He bought mine as a set when we got engaged.

     
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    Sugar bee
    allyfally    April 26, 2014   Louisville, KY

    I'm buying both of ours. He bought my e-ring and the ring he wants doesnt cost much, and the wedding band I want doesnt cost much. So when you add those two prices together it comes out to be about the same as my e-ring. 

     
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    Sugar bee
    Brideonabudgetlauren    October 21, 2012   Columbus, OH

    I paid for mine, my husband paid for his.  It just worked out that way. I don't think it really matters

     
    19.
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    Blushing bee
    talljabride    October 5, 2013  

    Well in my family, which has dutch heritage, we have the dutch tradition where there is no engagement ring but the bride buys the grooms ring and the groom buys the brides ring and then they wear them on the opposite hand until they get married. So they're both engaged. That ring is simply moved to the other hand during the wedding and becomes the wedding band.

     
    20.
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    Busy bee
    mommytobee    January 27, 2010   EDD September 16, 2013

    We chose each other's bands... But it came from our joint account. Our credit cards are also joint...

     
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    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    vorpalette    August 23, 2013   Michigan

    It's really up to you guys, but FI bought mine (today!) and I'm buying his.

     
    22.
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    Honey bee
    joya_aspera    December 2016  

    FI assumed he was paying for them until I corrected him and told him I was getting his band.

    It was important to me because even though what we both earn is "our money," I could see him cheaping out on himself (getting something cheaper than he truly wants, and I know what he really wants isn't cheap,) even though he went all the extra possible miles for my engagement ring (I know what I want for my band and it will be relatively easy and the most affordable of the 3, but the engagement ing was a painstaking process for him and not cheap!). It's also my turn to find sources for everything and haggle over the prices, the excruciatingly minute details of workmanship, etc., and his turn to be treated like royalty and not to "worry his pretty head" over the price of things or how they will get done, just to tell me if he sees anything that he likes, what he'd like different in any design he sees, etc. It's not just about the money, but about returning the effort.

     

     
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    Buzzing bee
    littlemisst08    February 9, 2013   San Antonio, TX

    We bought ours together with the wedding credit card. Paid off by the wedding savings account.

     
    24.
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    Bee Keeper
    Rubbs    July 2012  

    He bought mine and I bought his.

     
    25.
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    Busy bee
    angela85    August 25, 2012   Iceland

    Technically, I swiped when we bought the rings. But the money came from our wedding budget and we have joint finances, so there really isn't any 'my' and 'his' money.

     
    26.
    1,259 posts
    Bumble bee
    AcheneMalefic    March 2, 2009   US

    I bought mine and his, and he bought my ering. I thought it was a very fair deal, considering he wanted tungsten and my band was only $200 USD.

     
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    1,259 posts
    Bumble bee
    AcheneMalefic    March 2, 2009   US

    @allyfally:  Hah! You sound just like me! :)

     
    28.
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    454 posts
    Helper bee
    erinmarie0685    June 22, 2013   Rhode Island

    I always thought you bought the rings for each other. Honestly, not sure it matters. My FI bought mine last month (matches my engagement ring!) I haven't purchased his yet.

     

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