(Closed) Wedding Blues – just need to vent

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m so sorry you’re going through this!  I don’t know what kind of disability your father has, but he may have been having a bad health day and didn’t want to tell you.  I know your sister is out of state, but try leaning on her a little for support.  My best friends are both out of state, and we email and text ideas and pictures of what we’re thinking back and forth. 

It’s a little late to change up the bridal party now, but I’d really take a long look at the local bridesmaids and think about if these are really people that you want to be friends with in the future. 

Post # 4
2 posts
  • Wedding: January 2003

@justvonne:  I teared up a little reading your post.  Please don’t let this get you down, it sounds like you have a wonderful guy and from experience, despite wedding stresses the person you end up with really is worth it. I won’t pretend to know how you feel though, and it’s completely understable why you needed to vent!  I really really hope that your Bridesmaid or Best Man are just planning a surprise shower for you 😀  

Post # 5
1124 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

There are times when you feel like this, I remember I did. Especially when my Maid/Matron of Honor and one of my bridesmaids told me two months before the wedding that they can’t go, after a year of assuring me they would be there. Then another Bridesmaid or Best Man didn’t show up, didn’t even call to tell me she wasn’t going to make it. She just didn’t do anything.

I’m sorry your mom passed away before experiencing this day with you. If I were in your shoes I’d still be talking to my mom during the whole thing, I believe they are somewhere where they can still hear you.

Remember this is your day with your husband. Forget everyone else. Not everyone is as kind and caring. If they can’t make it go without them. They don’t have to be bridesmaids to go with you, just call a friend and I’m sure they will be happy to just be there with you. 

It will get stressful at times but just keep the finish line in your mind. Just remind yourself, all the mishaps and rediculousness, you will still be walking down the aisle to meet your husband and that’s what it’s all about

Post # 6
892 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@justvonne:  Honestly, I don’t think you need to care less about your wedding. Care MORE about it and care LESS about your bridal party. I’m sorry to put this out there but from my experience, people, for the most part are just concerned about number 1 (and thier SO if they have one) Its really true.

I don’t feel like you can really depend on someone, thats why for our wedding/engagement party Fiance and I are doing (almost) everything. Even though our parents are paying for the banquet hall, the food and the band WE are picking the menu WE are making the arrangments WE are doing EVERYTHING concerning the small details. Its just easier this way even though its really exhausting. I know WE can depend on ourselves. People are busy with life, I understand that, his parents have stuff going on and so do mine.. My Maid/Matron of Honor is planning her own wedding (shes also my FSIL) so I get that shes busy, so I don’t ask her for anything big other then “hey do you like these centerpieces I bought” lol…

It just seems to me that you are just a really generous person, and its unfortunate that people aren’t treating you the way you treat them.

I know your sister the Maid/Matron of Honor is out of state, but maybe it would be refreshing to you to get away from it all and spend a weekend with her or something, or even if she came to see you, the two of you could go dress/shoe/whatever shopping together. She’s your Maid/Matron of Honor and your sister, I’m sure she won’t let you down.

I just feel like, the more you depend on people the more they have the chance to let you down. Keep your dad involved, ask for his opinions etc. but make the final calls and arrangements yourself.

I’m sorry if this came across depressing or whatever.. But its just how I’ve come to feel about a lot of the people who were my “friends” in the past.

Also, you have all of us here if you ever need anything! =)

Post # 7
1189 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@MariContrary:  +1

I was Maid/Matron of Honor for my sister and lived six hours from her at the time.  We met up online several times a week to look at stuff together, track down deals, discuss things, etc.  You might try including your sister.  She might really be thrilled at the opportunity to be a part of things.

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