- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
I don’t even know where to begin!!
Originally MrN & I wanted a Destination Wedding, it was literally our 1st thought after he proposed, he said he pictured our wedding on a beach which was perfect as that’s what I pictured so we told our families that we were engaged and after looking into some pricing info a few weeks later we told them we were looking at having a Destination Wedding and that the approx cost was $1300 – $1700/person (depending on hotel & location + time of year) and that’s when everything went wrong. My parents said they couldn’t afford it, my sister said she couldn’t nor could his sister & her new husband only his parents, our wedding party and a few friends said NO PROBLEM!!
We were heartbroken, we felt like we didn’t get to enjoy our engagement, all of a sudden everything was so negative and we were being told how selfish we were being wanting to have a Destination Wedding because not all the family could come (extended family like Aunts/Uncles, Cousins, etc). We wanted to stand firm so we said we’d pay for my parents & 1/2 of his parents so they could help his sister & her hubby pay and my sister really didn’t need help, she just needed to actually save, we chose a date 2 years away so there was ample time for saving up for friends and family and also it helped us as paying for parents, plus ourselves and misc. wedding costs increased our cost to $10,000 and we were hoping to be around $5,000 – $6,500.
So fast forward a few months and all we heard was negativity so after many, many tears and breakdowns (all by me, thank goodness MrN was supportive) we decided to cancel our dream Destination Wedding and plan a wedding here. We said we’d invite a max of 75 guests (close family and friends, he has a large extended family) and keep out budget at $6,500 WELL that lasted maybe 2 weeks as his dad found out and was quite upset we weren’t inviting all the Aunts/Uncles (his dad is 1 of 11) and we weren’t inviting all the cousins (there are like 40 1st cousins) plus they were unhappy because my uncle was invited and cousins (total of 11 people) so our list of 75max increased to 160 people and there was no offer on a contribution towards our budget. I was really upset that our count was so high & now we were going to be planning & paying for a wedding we didn’t want so I just stopped planning for the summer.
We decided on a new date (9/22/12) and set a $10,000 budget & I started planning at the 1year mark, at first I enjoyed it but lately I started to HATE it, I was resentful of the wedding I was planning, it was more than we wanted to spend, it wasn’t what we wanted, even DIY projects that I loved I began to hate.
I had a full on wedding meltdown last week where MrN and I talked, we decided on the aspects that are important to US (not our family or parents, just him and I) and we made a new game plan. We are going to sit down with our parents after the holidays and tell them what we are doing, NO DISCUSSION, this is the final straw because if they complain we are seriously considering eloping with 2 couples as witnesses and when we return we’ll have a big BBQ and surprise everyone there and tell them.
Did anyone else go through this kind of situation? If so, what did you do to overcome it.
I really want to enjoy my wedding planning, not HATE it.