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I'm making my wedding cake...because I usually hate the cake that is served! I have been decorating cakes for years, so I am excited to make mine. However, a dessert spread would make me very excited for dessert!!!!! I think, like so many other wedding "must haves", the wedding cake portion is over the top. I keep reminding myself this is for us, and if your FI doesn't want the cake...I think you have a perfect alternative!
whatever you want! its your day.
i agree with the rational here. i'm not extremely attached to a wedding cake either but will probably have one to appease my mother (thus she should pay fo rit, right?)
i think the tradition of the toast and cake cutting/feeding has something to do with symbolism of taking the bitter and sweet of life together.
this could be symbolized in other ways if you wanted to.
the dessert spread would be cool too. and who says you still cant feed each other dessert?
i don't know.. i always love wedding cakes; well any cake in general and felt this was the best part of a wedding! hehe. im rushing through dinner just to get that slice of that cake.. yumm.. but yeah that could just be me.. a sweet dessert spread sounds good but just doesn't seem as special.. you can have those sweets any day, but you only have a wedding cake for one day =D which is what makes it all the more special in the first place.. i don't know.. that's my two cents. good luck with your choice =)
Yeah, we got lucky and had the best cake I've EVER had as our wedding cake, so I definitely wouldn't have wanted to give that up!
BUT - if your fiance really doesn't want to have one, and you don't feel strongly about it, I think it's 10000% fine to not have one! And a dessert spread sounds really really yummy and I seriously doubt anyone will miss the cake. Also, like GetMarried4Less said - you can always cut a cupcake or a tart or whatever and feed each other a little piece of SOMETHING if you want to stick with the tradition that way!
Hey, I'm with you- and we're not having cake! (I don't like cake, Mr. D doesn't really like cake, and the whole thing just strikes me as silly.)
We're having creme brulee, and will also have a smallish dessert spread.
i'm doing cupcakes - 2 different flavors!
one of my friends is a fabulous baker.
she's making 300 cupcakes!
I'm with you about the money being spent.
Therefore, I'm RENTING MY CAKE. Yup! You can rent from different peeps online or locally. I'm doing it locally at http://www.fakethecake.com or you can try http://www.cakerental.com/ --the latter makes AMAZING cakes to rent and she'll ship'em to you.
I definitely agree. I think big extravagant wedding cakes are overrated, and they contribute to the thought that your wedding budget needs to increase by $500... for cake! Maybe you can do something similar to what we are doing (if you want to save the money entirely).
We are having his sister make us a cake that is 10" in diameter and about 5" high. We're putting it on a fancy plate, cutting it (like usual), and the wedding party/family is eating it. Then we're also having her make us two sheet cakes for the guests. This way, the guests can be served right after we are done cutting. It's going to cost us about $40 for materials and it's his sister's gift to us :) FYI, our wedding guestlist is only 100 people and our bridal party is 4 total (including us). If your wedding is very large, this might not work.
I guess I never thought about it. Either way I'm dropping a bunch of money on desert - and I don't know how "no one" gets cake at a wedding - it;s not like they order 50 piece cake for a 400 guest wedding, I've always gotten cake and never had to actually watch the couple cut the cake. I didn't realize you were supposed to do this in front of everyone, when I've gone it's just been done with the couple and the photogo off to the side, and then magically theres cake in front of me :-)
I think it could be cool either way! And fun to pick other stuff. I already put a down payment on our cake...otherwise I might look in to this alternative just to add some fun.
we're doing a cupcake tower - much cheaper and putting money into a dessert buffet!
At my cousin's wedding this past summer, they didn't have a cake either and I don't think many people noticed! We were focused on the chocolate fondue and popcorn machine!
We are getting our cake at a local cafe/bakery. They call it "The Wedding Cake" and it is a tasty strawberries and cream cake. It will cost a fraction of the price of a normal wedding cake, and I take comfort in knowing I won't be vomiting fondant all night!
I agree. If you're not a fan of cake, why have it? (On the other hand, if you love cake, I think it's a perfect time to go all out.) I've been lobbying for a wedding brownie since we started planning. 
I love all things sweet, so I'm not one to discriminate against cake
. We are going to have a cake, but will be serving smaller portions, because we want to serve it with Graeter's (a hometown favorite ice cream), and will also have a candy bar buffet so that there's something for everyone. That said, don't have cake if you don't want cake, you wouldn't wear a wedding dress you weren't crazy about so why serve a dessert you aren't crazy about either!
Neither FI or I really like cake at all, so we are having homemade apple pie from a family friend's orchard and vanilla ice cream. We are also having homemade chocolate chip cookies, which are kind of my signature party dessert.
Do what makes you happy. If you and your FI like cream puffs, have those. If you like cheesecake, have that. I look at it as another little place we can make our wedding, well, ours.
Good luck!
I personally think that the cake cutting part of the wedding is boring and doesnt even usually make a good photo-op, so why even bother? At first, my fiance and I were thinking of just having a really small cake to cut..... 
and then serving sheet cake to everybody else. Now we are considering forgetting the cake and going the candy station route. I can just shove M&Ms in his face.
We ended up throwing away most of our cake from our engagement party (mistake to cut it after dinner because people left very quickly after eating and before hte cake was served). BUT I must say we had a very pretty cake and looked great in the pictures and are my favorite pictures from the whole night! It is a statement piece. It's not just about dessert
I love cake, so I'm a bit biased. But I think a dessert spread could be just as much of a "statement" and as beautiful as a wedding cake, and if that's what you and your FH want, it's what you should go for. Maybe start out looking at interesting display pieces, like fun candy dishes and cake/cupcake stands.
while i do like cakes (because they're so YUMMY and i'm an addict of the food network's Ace of Cakes), i could never bring myself to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on a wedding cake. you're right... it's too much!
we're lucky that we know a cake maker who will be making our cake for us for VERY cheap. we're keeping it small so that we can serve different flavours of cupcakes instead. it's a lot more fun that way.
I also love cake - although I admit I have had some wedding cake that was not that good. We have picked a fabulous little bakery for our cake; they make absolutely the best cake. We are going to have at least three (maybe four - we keep changing our mind about our favorites) kinds. So far - chocolate chambord with chocolate truffle, lemon with raspberry and lemon creme, white chocolate coconut with vanilla almond creme, and sour cream orange chocolate with grand marnier and chocolate ganache.
However - we are having a small (three tiered) brides cake for show cutting, and the rest of the cakes will be regular 9-inch round so that the kitchen staff can cut them offstage (so the guests don't have to wait). My sister did this, although with different flavors (and only three) at her wedding, and the cake totally disappeared.
If you really are not cake people, I would go with something else. But I do think how much cake gets eaten totally depends on the quality and kind of cake (white cake with white frosting, right - I wouldn't eat it either).
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i love our wedding cake - it came with our package - we were kinda "whatever" about it - but then we went cake tasting - holy shiot it was so good!
not to mention there are pics of celebs everywhere who have ordered cakes from this place!
i like wedding cake - altho my friends and cousins have picked out great cakes - last one was my cousin's teramisu wedding cake - yumm!
it's all in what you feel fits you and FH - you're not going to get a ticket from the wedding police if you dont have cake! heeheehee
how about gelato?? or cupcakes?? or a lot of different pies?? the choice is yours hon - your wedding - your rules!!
happy planning!
I've never been a fan of wedding cake, so we are having Beard Papa cream puffs and cannolis from Ferrara, a famous Italian bakery in NYC. I love both of these items much more than cake, and it also saved us money. Even buying extras (75 cream puffs and 85 cannolis for 106 people!), it is costing us only about $425, or $4 per person, which in NYC is a bargain.
Also, it unexpectedly saved us money in another way because we only had to order them two weeks before, so we knew exactly how many people we were having to order for, and despite the large number of extras (for people who want both--unlikely since both items are huge), we actually ended up reducing our number.
I didn't read any other posts, but I agree. I have not put an ounce of thought into our cake, and I have also decided to forgo the cutting of the cake. It will be there, and be pretty, but nothing special, and it will be served. who cares, really? and I also don't want to look ridiculous (no offense here) standing up there feeding each other....
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I have not met a cake I did not love! FI and I have decided to do a cupcake tower but we also thought about doing a sheet cake in addition. Not quite sure what the plans are yet. When we had our engagement parties last yr we had 2 sheet cakes from Safeway. I was hoping some of the people there wouldn't eat all of it so I could take some home (yes I love cake that much.. Ha!) but nooooooo both cakes were gone before I knew it! A little disappointed but happy our family/friends enjoyed it.
My fiance' and I thought about skipping the traditional cake in favor of a dessert spread as well. However, our baker was going to charge us an extra 25 cents per piece (for about 800 pieces) just to PLACE each piece of dessert. We didn't think the extra $200 was worth it so we have decided to go with cake! I would recommend checking into hidden costs before you make a final decision!
I'm not into the cake either. I am having one for the cutting and to make my mom and fmil happy. It cost $185.00 to feed 75 people, yes I will have more than 75 people at my wedding, but there will be a dessert table. If you really need to make other people happy, I highly suggest the simple cake routine. Mine is two round layers, simple whipped cream frosting with some dasies on it. White cake with bavarian creme and fresh strawberries as the filling.
IndianPrincess,
I'm having cake AND a dessert spread (buffet) at our event so I can give you insight to both. :)
I'm very traditional in the cake department (read: boring!) so we had to have it. Let me put it in perspective for you, though.
In the SF Bay Area, most (the majority, not all...) cakes run about $5-7 per slice. A dessert buffet is $8 per person with my catering company and it includes 24 desserts contracted from Gerhard Michler in San Francisco. Really, if you think about it, it seems you get a LOT more for your money by going the route of a dessert spread than with cake. You're more likely to please more people with different palate preferences and you have a greater variety.
We're having a small 2-tier cake made with decoration for us to cut for show and to have the wedding party eat. Then we're doing cupcakes for everyone else in an assortment of flavors. It was SO much cheaper. $4.50 per slice for a big wedding cake, only $1.50 per cupcake. And the baker isn't charging us the $4.50 per slice for the 2-tiered cake, he's just charging for a 10 inch and 8 inch like if you picked up a couple of birthday cakes. It was a no brainer for us.
Oh, and another rip off: cutting fees! By serving cupcakes where people can grab them themselves, we save not only $3 per person we also save $2.50 per person plating fee at our reception venue. Craziness.
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do the dessert spread! if i were a guest at your wedding. i would be so excited to get to choose what i eat!
OK, I havent read through the other responses (sorry, im at work and have to be very sneaky! Weddingbee is addictive!), but im in the same situation. In Vegas, even the plainest of cakes are upwards of $1000. I cannot afford this. My budget was blown a long time ago on my dress, so i have to be creative and think of things to "skimp" on. (is that a word? well it is now=)
Im going to Vons (grocery store) bakery the morning of the wedding and getting a really decdent already made cake. It should be about $20. We will cut that. I will also have a fancy cupcake shop here in town (the Cupcakery) make cupcakes for our guests. (200)
The cupcakes will not be displayed on a tree thingy-rather will be passed around on silver trays that i scored at goodwill, of all places. With the cupcakes, we will serve milk from the cartons-the small kind you used to get in kindergarden. Total cost: about $200.
We had cupcakes, it was great and looked beautiful all dressed up and tiered. If it were up to me, I'd do a huge dessert spread, like you mentioned! I actually wanted to do a pie table (Southern wedding) with all kinds of fruit and pecan, etc. pies on pie and cake stands. Kind of wish I'd done that instead!
But again, the cutting fees can be crazy. Having items that your guests can grab with their own hands is easier and fun.
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Yesterday I got a call from my FH….saying….”seriously Wedding Cakes are a waste of money, no one usually gets any cake, its boring to watch the couple and cut the cake, and I’m just not really into the idea of a cake-this is not a birthday its our wedding!” So my initial reaction was like. “how can we not have a wedding cake?”
But more and more I think about it, I think he right. I can spend that money towards a lavish dessert spread full of cakes, pastries etc. etc. instead of an overpriced cake that we cut, while people chatter amongst each other, waiting for us to finish up so they can eat and dance.
What do you guys think? Is it really that necessary? Wouldn’t you rather have a dessert spread?