Yesterday I got a call from my FH….saying….”seriously Wedding Cakes are a waste of money, no one usually gets any cake, its boring to watch the couple and cut the cake, and I’m just not really into the idea of a cake-this is not a birthday its our wedding!” So my initial reaction was like. “how can we not have a wedding cake?”
But more and more I think about it, I think he right. I can spend that money towards a lavish dessert spread full of cakes, pastries etc. etc. instead of an overpriced cake that we cut, while people chatter amongst each other, waiting for us to finish up so they can eat and dance.
What do you guys think? Is it really that necessary? Wouldn’t you rather have a dessert spread?
I'm making my wedding cake...because I usually hate the cake that is served! I have been decorating cakes for years, so I am excited to make mine. However, a dessert spread would make me very excited for dessert!!!!! I think, like so many other wedding "must haves", the wedding cake portion is over the top. I keep reminding myself this is for us, and if your FI doesn't want the cake...I think you have a perfect alternative!
i agree with the rational here. i'm not extremely attached to a wedding cake either but will probably have one to appease my mother (thus she should pay fo rit, right?)
i think the tradition of the toast and cake cutting/feeding has something to do with symbolism of taking the bitter and sweet of life together.
this could be symbolized in other ways if you wanted to.
the dessert spread would be cool too. and who says you still cant feed each other dessert?
i don't know.. i always love wedding cakes; well any cake in general and felt this was the best part of a wedding! hehe. im rushing through dinner just to get that slice of that cake.. yumm.. but yeah that could just be me.. a sweet dessert spread sounds good but just doesn't seem as special.. you can have those sweets any day, but you only have a wedding cake for one day =D which is what makes it all the more special in the first place.. i don't know.. that's my two cents. good luck with your choice =)
Yeah, we got lucky and had the best cake I've EVER had as our wedding cake, so I definitely wouldn't have wanted to give that up!
BUT - if your fiance really doesn't want to have one, and you don't feel strongly about it, I think it's 10000% fine to not have one! And a dessert spread sounds really really yummy and I seriously doubt anyone will miss the cake. Also, like GetMarried4Less said - you can always cut a cupcake or a tart or whatever and feed each other a little piece of SOMETHING if you want to stick with the tradition that way!
Therefore, I'm RENTING MY CAKE. Yup! You can rent from different peeps online or locally. I'm doing it locally at http://www.fakethecake.com or you can try http://www.cakerental.com/ --the latter makes AMAZING cakes to rent and she'll ship'em to you.
I definitely agree. I think big extravagant wedding cakes are overrated, and they contribute to the thought that your wedding budget needs to increase by $500... for cake! Maybe you can do something similar to what we are doing (if you want to save the money entirely).
We are having his sister make us a cake that is 10" in diameter and about 5" high. We're putting it on a fancy plate, cutting it (like usual), and the wedding party/family is eating it. Then we're also having her make us two sheet cakes for the guests. This way, the guests can be served right after we are done cutting. It's going to cost us about $40 for materials and it's his sister's gift to us :) FYI, our wedding guestlist is only 100 people and our bridal party is 4 total (including us). If your wedding is very large, this might not work.
I guess I never thought about it. Either way I'm dropping a bunch of money on desert - and I don't know how "no one" gets cake at a wedding - it;s not like they order 50 piece cake for a 400 guest wedding, I've always gotten cake and never had to actually watch the couple cut the cake. I didn't realize you were supposed to do this in front of everyone, when I've gone it's just been done with the couple and the photogo off to the side, and then magically theres cake in front of me :-)
I think it could be cool either way! And fun to pick other stuff. I already put a down payment on our cake...otherwise I might look in to this alternative just to add some fun.
we're doing a cupcake tower - much cheaper and putting money into a dessert buffet!
At my cousin's wedding this past summer, they didn't have a cake either and I don't think many people noticed! We were focused on the chocolate fondue and popcorn machine!
We are getting our cake at a local cafe/bakery. They call it "The Wedding Cake" and it is a tasty strawberries and cream cake. It will cost a fraction of the price of a normal wedding cake, and I take comfort in knowing I won't be vomiting fondant all night!
I agree. If you're not a fan of cake, why have it? (On the other hand, if you love cake, I think it's a perfect time to go all out.) I've been lobbying for a wedding brownie since we started planning.
I love all things sweet, so I'm not one to discriminate against cake. We are going to have a cake, but will be serving smaller portions, because we want to serve it with Graeter's (a hometown favorite ice cream), and will also have a candy bar buffet so that there's something for everyone. That said, don't have cake if you don't want cake, you wouldn't wear a wedding dress you weren't crazy about so why serve a dessert you aren't crazy about either!
Neither FI or I really like cake at all, so we are having homemade apple pie from a family friend's orchard and vanilla ice cream. We are also having homemade chocolate chip cookies, which are kind of my signature party dessert.
Do what makes you happy. If you and your FI like cream puffs, have those. If you like cheesecake, have that. I look at it as another little place we can make our wedding, well, ours.
I personally think that the cake cutting part of the wedding is boring and doesnt even usually make a good photo-op, so why even bother? At first, my fiance and I were thinking of just having a really small cake to cut..... and then serving sheet cake to everybody else. Now we are considering forgetting the cake and going the candy station route. I can just shove M&Ms in his face.
We ended up throwing away most of our cake from our engagement party (mistake to cut it after dinner because people left very quickly after eating and before hte cake was served). BUT I must say we had a very pretty cake and looked great in the pictures and are my favorite pictures from the whole night! It is a statement piece. It's not just about dessert
I love cake, so I'm a bit biased. But I think a dessert spread could be just as much of a "statement" and as beautiful as a wedding cake, and if that's what you and your FH want, it's what you should go for. Maybe start out looking at interesting display pieces, like fun candy dishes and cake/cupcake stands.
while i do like cakes (because they're so YUMMY and i'm an addict of the food network's Ace of Cakes), i could never bring myself to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on a wedding cake. you're right... it's too much!
we're lucky that we know a cake maker who will be making our cake for us for VERY cheap. we're keeping it small so that we can serve different flavours of cupcakes instead. it's a lot more fun that way.
Yesterday I got a call from my FH….saying….”seriously Wedding Cakes are a waste of money, no one usually gets any cake, its boring to watch the couple and cut the cake, and I’m just not really into the idea of a cake-this is not a birthday its our wedding!” So my initial reaction was like. “how can we not have a wedding cake?”
But more and more I think about it, I think he right. I can spend that money towards a lavish dessert spread full of cakes, pastries etc. etc. instead of an overpriced cake that we cut, while people chatter amongst each other, waiting for us to finish up so they can eat and dance.
What do you guys think? Is it really that necessary? Wouldn’t you rather have a dessert spread?
posted by IndianPrincess 48 posts 9 months agoI'm making my wedding cake...because I usually hate the cake that is served! I have been decorating cakes for years, so I am excited to make mine. However, a dessert spread would make me very excited for dessert!!!!! I think, like so many other wedding "must haves", the wedding cake portion is over the top. I keep reminding myself this is for us, and if your FI doesn't want the cake...I think you have a perfect alternative!
posted by happyOCgirl 25 posts 9 months agowhatever you want! its your day.
i agree with the rational here. i'm not extremely attached to a wedding cake either but will probably have one to appease my mother (thus she should pay fo rit, right?)
i think the tradition of the toast and cake cutting/feeding has something to do with symbolism of taking the bitter and sweet of life together.
this could be symbolized in other ways if you wanted to.
the dessert spread would be cool too. and who says you still cant feed each other dessert?
posted by GetMarried4Less 403 posts 9 months agoi don't know.. i always love wedding cakes; well any cake in general and felt this was the best part of a wedding! hehe. im rushing through dinner just to get that slice of that cake.. yumm.. but yeah that could just be me.. a sweet dessert spread sounds good but just doesn't seem as special.. you can have those sweets any day, but you only have a wedding cake for one day =D which is what makes it all the more special in the first place.. i don't know.. that's my two cents. good luck with your choice =)
posted by melbride 95 posts 9 months agoYeah, we got lucky and had the best cake I've EVER had as our wedding cake, so I definitely wouldn't have wanted to give that up!
BUT - if your fiance really doesn't want to have one, and you don't feel strongly about it, I think it's 10000% fine to not have one! And a dessert spread sounds really really yummy and I seriously doubt anyone will miss the cake. Also, like GetMarried4Less said - you can always cut a cupcake or a tart or whatever and feed each other a little piece of SOMETHING if you want to stick with the tradition that way!
posted by bluebell 82 posts 9 months agoHey, I'm with you- and we're not having cake! (I don't like cake, Mr. D doesn't really like cake, and the whole thing just strikes me as silly.)
We're having creme brulee, and will also have a smallish dessert spread.
posted by dahlia 117 posts 9 months agoi'm doing cupcakes - 2 different flavors!
one of my friends is a fabulous baker.
she's making 300 cupcakes!
posted by Joanne 147 posts 9 months agoI'm with you about the money being spent.
Therefore, I'm RENTING MY CAKE. Yup! You can rent from different peeps online or locally. I'm doing it locally at http://www.fakethecake.com or you can try http://www.cakerental.com/ --the latter makes AMAZING cakes to rent and she'll ship'em to you.
posted by MissMandy 110 posts 9 months agoI definitely agree. I think big extravagant wedding cakes are overrated, and they contribute to the thought that your wedding budget needs to increase by $500... for cake! Maybe you can do something similar to what we are doing (if you want to save the money entirely).
We are having his sister make us a cake that is 10" in diameter and about 5" high. We're putting it on a fancy plate, cutting it (like usual), and the wedding party/family is eating it. Then we're also having her make us two sheet cakes for the guests. This way, the guests can be served right after we are done cutting. It's going to cost us about $40 for materials and it's his sister's gift to us :) FYI, our wedding guestlist is only 100 people and our bridal party is 4 total (including us). If your wedding is very large, this might not work.
posted by dani 45 posts 9 months agoI guess I never thought about it. Either way I'm dropping a bunch of money on desert - and I don't know how "no one" gets cake at a wedding - it;s not like they order 50 piece cake for a 400 guest wedding, I've always gotten cake and never had to actually watch the couple cut the cake. I didn't realize you were supposed to do this in front of everyone, when I've gone it's just been done with the couple and the photogo off to the side, and then magically theres cake in front of me :-)
I think it could be cool either way! And fun to pick other stuff. I already put a down payment on our cake...otherwise I might look in to this alternative just to add some fun.
posted by Sweeney2Be 1,488 posts 9 months agowe're doing a cupcake tower - much cheaper and putting money into a dessert buffet!
At my cousin's wedding this past summer, they didn't have a cake either and I don't think many people noticed! We were focused on the chocolate fondue and popcorn machine!
posted by chinglish 29 posts 9 months agoWe are getting our cake at a local cafe/bakery. They call it "The Wedding Cake" and it is a tasty strawberries and cream cake. It will cost a fraction of the price of a normal wedding cake, and I take comfort in knowing I won't be vomiting fondant all night!
posted by Niki 432 posts 9 months agoI agree. If you're not a fan of cake, why have it? (On the other hand, if you love cake, I think it's a perfect time to go all out.) I've been lobbying for a wedding brownie since we started planning.
posted by loves-a-limey 36 posts 9 months agoI love all things sweet, so I'm not one to discriminate against cake
. We are going to have a cake, but will be serving smaller portions, because we want to serve it with Graeter's (a hometown favorite ice cream), and will also have a candy bar buffet so that there's something for everyone. That said, don't have cake if you don't want cake, you wouldn't wear a wedding dress you weren't crazy about so why serve a dessert you aren't crazy about either!
posted by Buckeye 25 posts 9 months agoNeither FI or I really like cake at all, so we are having homemade apple pie from a family friend's orchard and vanilla ice cream. We are also having homemade chocolate chip cookies, which are kind of my signature party dessert.
Do what makes you happy. If you and your FI like cream puffs, have those. If you like cheesecake, have that. I look at it as another little place we can make our wedding, well, ours.
Good luck!
posted by guinness257 51 posts 9 months agoposted by Jennilee 29 posts 9 months ago
I personally think that the cake cutting part of the wedding is boring and doesnt even usually make a good photo-op, so why even bother? At first, my fiance and I were thinking of just having a really small cake to cut.....
and then serving sheet cake to everybody else. Now we are considering forgetting the cake and going the candy station route. I can just shove M&Ms in his face.
posted by Jennilee 29 posts 9 months agoWe ended up throwing away most of our cake from our engagement party (mistake to cut it after dinner because people left very quickly after eating and before hte cake was served). BUT I must say we had a very pretty cake and looked great in the pictures and are my favorite pictures from the whole night! It is a statement piece. It's not just about dessert
posted by IndianBride 179 posts 9 months agoI love cake, so I'm a bit biased. But I think a dessert spread could be just as much of a "statement" and as beautiful as a wedding cake, and if that's what you and your FH want, it's what you should go for. Maybe start out looking at interesting display pieces, like fun candy dishes and cake/cupcake stands.
posted by OnlySupernova 78 posts 9 months agowhile i do like cakes (because they're so YUMMY and i'm an addict of the food network's Ace of Cakes), i could never bring myself to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on a wedding cake. you're right... it's too much!
we're lucky that we know a cake maker who will be making our cake for us for VERY cheap. we're keeping it small so that we can serve different flavours of cupcakes instead. it's a lot more fun that way.
posted by zombiebride 24 posts 9 months ago