Post # 1
Hi, Ladies I need help ASAP. I know that this is a great community to talk about personal things and i need your help. A little background FI and I have been together for 3 years Our 4th year anniversary was supossed to be on May 17, 2013 ( our wedding day). We have a beautiful 16 month old daughter who I adore. A little background on my FI: he is 26 years old, when I met him back in 2008 I found out that he made money from downloading porn online and people would either ask him to download things or he just knew the “right” things to download and then of course anyone that clicked on his links would make him money automatically. Now He supposedly stopped as soon as we met and he is the nicest and sweetest guy on earth ( or so I thought). We recently had an argument about some chick in his job trying to get his attention and him giving her his number. After i found out about that whole thing he confessed and said that she gave her number to him and blah blah blah. I was mad at him for the whole week and then I gave him a chance when he said I feel free now, like I can tell you anything and he told me all his ” secrets” from day one for the past three years. That he stares at girl’s breast and ass and he watched some porn ONLY once when we started going out in 2008, that he masturbated twice…etc.
Now, I loved this guy so much we were meant for each other but then something happened last night that made me sick. So I happen to go on his PC and find porn from like 3 weeks ago while I was at a Volunteering program. I volunteer every Tuesday morning. I leave at 8:45am and I noticed the porn times were at 9:00, 9:02, 9:03..Now i tried getting access to those but he did something so that an error message showes up. So I grabbed my laptop and searched and yes, it was porn and that’s not the worse part. This asshole ( excuse my language I’m really angry) has porn titles such as blank9yo, blank 8yo…For a second I though what is that??Could it be 9 year old?? I checked in some random folder and see three very disturbing photos of CHILD PORN…OMG, 10 yr old having sex with her brother, 8 yr old getting raped, and the worse..sigh..Some guys penis inside a 4 YEAR old Little girl…WTF I feel so disturbed, tramautized. My FI is into child porn?? And he usually stays at home with my daughter, OH HELL NO. I feel so sick and disgusted, when i confronted him last night he was saying how If i told the cops or anyone that he would end his life. That he is not a bad person, That he would never touch our child, that he did it because he felt numb to it and he felt like he could just go and search for his old videos from when he is to work downloading them so he searched just to feel accomplished, and to know that the videos were still there but supossedly he was never into that and he didnt watch. Does that sound like a good reason?? That he felt numb and WTF does that mean??
Ladies, please give me some advice…I don’t know what to do…Should I leave?, should I say something?, I can’t marry this sick person but yet feel like he was the love of my life. He is coming up with lame excuses and I don’t trust him. He also says how that had to do with the porn he used to download for dudes and stuff…But if he stopped doing that 3 years ago because the website got dropped then why is he searching for it?? Sorry but he will never stay with my daughter alone. Please ladies Help me, and sorry about my writing I just need help asap, I’m devastated.
Post # 3
I don’t think I could be with someone that I couldn’t trust. Would you ever feel comfortable leaving your daughter with him again? I think his rationale is WRONG and the fact that he did the password thing or whatever is WRONG. He’s trying to be deceitful and you deserve someone you can trust. I am so sorry!
Post # 4
Having child pornography on your computer is a crime. Sure he may be a “good person” and not actually do anything with your daughter, but that doesn’t make it any better. I think that the best solution to this situation would be to inform the police and to leave him.
Don’t look back. You’ll want to, you’ll be heartbroken I’m sure, but you shouldn’t go back to him.
Post # 6
Leave, and report it to the cops. That shit is NOT okay, and people like him are helping awful abuse continue. I feel completely sick to my stomach now. Don’t think a second more about it, get out and please protect your child. He is not a good man – he is disgusting and deserves jail time.
Post # 7
i would, at the least, make him go into counciling, and prove to you that he has stopped child porn before he is ever left alone with your child.
Post # 8
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It is really unimaginable. I think when dealing with child pornography it is a black and white area in my opinion. Watching a child get raped no matter what the purpose is so sick. And he looked at more than one thing like that (and this is just the stuff you found, who knows what else there is). I would report it to the police and end the relationship…. I can’t imagine how hard this will be for you but having those thoughts in your head wondering if he’s been inappropriate with your daughter- ugh I could vomit just thinking about it. I’m so sorry.
Post # 9
I would turn him in to the police for this felony.
Post # 10
Child porn is NOT OK. Tell the cops!!
Watching normal porn and masturbating is perfectly fine, but child pornography? NO AY!
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2013 - Canal St Inn
NO. NO NO NO NO NO. DO NOT stay with this man. Find a safe place for you and your daughter, leave when he is not there, do not tell him when you’re going or where you’re going. Do not leave a note. Call the police as soon as you find a safe place. Threatening sucide if you call the police for his illegal and extremely disturbing actions is emotional manipulation and it is abuse. Get out now. The love of your life was an illusion, and an incredibly dangerous and damaging one.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I cannot imagine the pain and betrayal you must be feeling, and I wish that I could take that away for you. The only thing I can tell you is that the sooner you get out, the sooner you can heal. Please do not consider spending another minute in the same room as this man.
Post # 12
no matter how guilty he seems and how ‘honest’ you believe him to be, child pornography is morally wrong and totally unacceptable. i would feel absolutely SICK to my stomach if i new someone was into this, least of all my partner.
do the RIGHT THING: Call the police without him knowing that way he cant abscond.
Post # 13
Absolutely, 100%, without a doubt, NOT OK. Run and report it to the police, end of story.
Post # 14
My 20 year old neighbor girl married a 20 year old guy. Evidentally there was a huge child porn bust about a year ago, where this guy was on the list. The cops came into their home at 3am, confiscated him and his computer. My neighbor had no idea what was going on. They were LDS and married in the Mormon temple. I’m sure this little Mormon girl thought he was good enough too! I mean she came from a great family, so did he, he wanted to be a cop, they married in the temple. It’s all mostly a cover up!
Yes, he went to jail. They had been following him for months. They had enough proof to arrest him. Yes, it is a crime.
I really think you NEED TO TELL THE COPS. They could already have been following him.
Your relationship is DONE FOREVER with this man.
Post # 15
Good people do not have child pornography on their computers. Full stop. End of story. I would be calling the cops.
Post # 16
Call the cops. Better yet, bring your laptop to the police station. This is a crime, and he is destroying the lives of young children. I read some victim impact statements of children forced into sexual abuse for a class in grad school, and one of them said, “Every time someone looks at the pictures, I am raped again.” THAT is what this man is doing to young children. Report the abuse, send him to jail, and petition for FULL CUSTODY of your child on these grounds. And document all of this for evience for your full custody.
DO NOT leave your child alone with him.