- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I have a big issue and was wondering if anyone (especially Catholic) can help me out here.
BACKGROUND: My best friend of 20 years is an Arab Catholic and getting married next Friday 7-27, and asked me to be her bridesmaid which I accepted years ago. I am also getting married this October and asked her to be my bridesmaid a couple months ago. I am an Arab Muslim and wear a headscarf.
PAST:A year and a half ago while she was preparing for her wedding that was suppose to be May 2011, her fiance developed cold feet and cancelled the wedding. Before this, she was looking for bridesmaid dresses and we had a conversation and she asked me not to wear my religious headscarf and wear the sleeveless dress that she chose, because she didnt want me to stand out in the pictures. She also mentioned her priest wont allow it. I was deeply hurt that my best friend would ask me to do such a thing. I told her that I cant do that and she said then I cant be a bridesmaid. Because she is my best friend and didnt want to lose her 20 year friendship, I accepted that and was not going to be a bridesmaid (shortly thereafter, her wedding was cancelled).
PRESENT: She was legally married March 2012 and is having her religious ceremnoy in the church and reception next Friday. SInce March, she decided that she wanted a reception and wanted a wedding party, so she asked me to be her bridesmaid again and said I could wear my scarf and any black dress that I liked (bridesmaids this time around will be mix and match black dresses) because at that time she had only a couple months until her wedding and didnt have time to pick, order, alter dresses etc. ANYWAYS…2 days ago her fiance left me a message saying that because I wear a scarf and am a visible Muslim I cant stand up at the wedding (she didnt say I couldnt wear the scarf this time around, but did say that if it wasnt for my scarf I could stand up at her wedding because no one would know I was Muslim). Another bridesmaid that is married and pregnant is also not allowed to stand.
She said that she fought with the priest many times about this and the priest said he didnt allow me being at the altar because the bridesmaids must be able to say prayers and take communion.
I asked a handful of my Christian friends and they all said they have never heard of such a thing and that she is being Bridezilla. I dont know what to think, I am trying to give her benefit of the doubt. I am so hurt by this, I dont know what to do. 🙁
Thanks to all you bees in advance