Post # 1
I am planning a simple wedding without the help of a planner. However it was suggested to us that we have someone act as a coordinator to help the day of the wedding to make sure things run smoothly. I asked one of my coworkers who I don’t know very well personally or professionally, but I felt comfortable and confident enough to trust her with this role & that she could exicute things well. Since I don’t know her that well and the finace doesn’t I thought she would be a great choice because she’s neutral like Switzerland and won’t really be partial to our families. She said one day that she would like to possibly get into the wedding planning business and this is exactly the kind of person who I’d like to get involved in my wedding because I would love to help give her exposure and a recommendation in the future.
Anyway–she informed me the other day that her friend who also would like to get into the business will be helping her. I thought it was a little weird that she didn’t ask me first if her friend could help her out. Am I over reacting? Or should I just let it slide and consider that she may need an assistant? I mean, if David Tutera was planning my wedding I know he’d have an assistant! I can let it go, but as I think about it still puzzles me. Maybe I’m just having an irrational thought! Damn wedding planning stress is getting to me!
Post # 3
As a wedding planner myself, and planning my own wedding… I would NEVER intrust such a special day to someone who has no background or really isn’t that close to me. With that being said, it seems a little odd that she needs an assistant, that just makes me feel even more nervous for you.
I am having a destination wedding and I plan on givnig my list of things to my mom to micro-manage the on-site wedding coordinator. My mom knows how anal I am (hence it’s my job, haha) and she knows that I will have everything written out for her to check off to make sure everything is perfect just as if I was doing it myself.
Back to you question- I think it is odd and I suggest you find someone close to you who will take as much care in your special day as you are yourself if an actual planner is out of your budget. You don’t want to have to look over anyones shoulder on your bid day.
Post # 5
My DOC is actually two girls (sisters in the wedding planning business). I feel like having twice as many hands on the day of the wedding will help me out a ton! I can have on running around the venue making sure all that stuff is taken care of and the other one running around with me and helping with pictures, etc.
The thing about hiring someone is they should have the freedom to delegate as they see fit. If my DOC’s brought in some help, I wouldn’t mind at all, as long as they are still in charge.
Also, since she is new to it, maybe having a friend help her out is somewhat of moral support for herself.
I wouldn’t worry about it too much as long as you feel that together they can help you achieve a vision of a perfect day!
Post # 6
As a wedding planner I’d like to chime in too.
I agree with @cupcake 1382 you should absolutely have someone you trust on the day of your wedding–given that you don’t know her that well you don’t really know how she is under stress. I have a small wedding firm and we work in pairs, do I NEED to have an assistant with me? No. However I can’t run your ceremony–leave once I get you down the aisle–light the candles–and be there waiting with champagne the minute you leave the church. It’s that extra level of service a planner provides that warrents a second assistant. For smaller weddings this can certainly be done solo–heck I just had a wedding this weekend and it turned out WONDERFUL. With all of that said I would never-ever just invite someone to come a long with me if it hadn’t been discussed with my client first. In your contract are you providing a vendor meal? If so is this now for 2?
I personally think given her inexperience that she needs the other person bc she needs moral support. Go with your gut girl–if this sounds off–which it does to me then politely thank her and go in another direction.
Post # 7
@Cupcake1382: When I said I don’t know her well, what I meant was perhaps more that I’m not emotionally, relationally, or professionally close with her. In a way, I see that as an advantage because like I said I think she can be a little more neutral when dealing with our families and any drama that may ensue. However given the nature of our work, I know that she can handle stress and the pressures of the day. Thank you sooo very much for your imput, it really helped me!
Post # 8
Just married a week ago & wanted to update you on this. It acutally worked out great to her there and help with things. Overall I was pleased with her work. However two weird things happened. First she and her assistant did not make it the rehearsal because they got out of work late & the venue was about an hour and half away from them . I knew this a couple days beforehand and was a little dissapointed that they did not know how exactly the ceremony was to go, but luckily I was able to give them detailed notes/outline of how things were suppose to be. The other thing that was weird to me was that they left half way thru the reception. This was hard for me for two reasons, first I needed a strong arm to keep things on schedule for the reception because people were looking forward to dancing, which ended up starting later than we wanted. Second my mom and bridesmaid could have used more help cleaning up stuff afterwards.