(Closed) Wedding Coordinator Hurt My Mom's Feelings

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

I would suggest reassuring her that you do want her to feel special. Tell her the coordinator probably mentioned that because she sees other brides who’s family starts dictating, etc. And I would give her a project or two. Something that you trust her with to really have a hand in designing/creating! For instance, if you’re putting together centerpieces, maybe she could do that. You would have already purchased the parts, but she can actually put it together. Or my MIL is doing the remembrance table of our loved ones….

Post # 4
Member
8884 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m sorry your mom’s feelings are hurt, but I agree with what the coordinator said. It is about you and your FI and what you like. Sometimes a 3rd party person has to be the voice of reason.

Let your mom know that you appreciate her help and suggestions, but kindly tell her that some things will have to be your decision.

Post # 5
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

Oh here’s another one: My mom is making the boutineers. I always knew I wanted brooch bouquets for me and my bridesmaids (and she’s helping make those too), and she came up with this idea for bullet casing with a pin on the back (my FI and his groomsmen like hunting) and peacock feathers. Now, peacock feathers don’t *really* fit my theme, but she was so excited and my FI liked the idea, so I’m just totally letting it go! And she’s so happy with them.

Post # 7
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Lyndzo:  + a million

Your mom is really going to have to just get over it. This is YOUR wedding; I don’t get why she would need to feel special?

Post # 8
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@TaurianDoll:  your mom needs to get over it and move on and not take it out on you – you didn’t make the comments, the coordinator did.  If you want her at the tasting, great invite her, if you don’t then don’t.

This is her issue to deal with, not yours to fix.  You trying to fix it and make her feel special is going to end badly – it sounds like your mom is impossible to please (considering she felt slighted at being the ONLY one to pick our your dress with you – wtf what else could you possibly do to make her happy!?).

Post # 9
Member
551 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

lucky -your mom gets to help 🙂 I second that the wedding industry probably sees a lot of couples with mom’s and family calling the shots, so they are only probably trying to help focus in on the couple. I would do what you want, but be sure to include her when you can and make a point of mentioning how special she is to you when you do include her in things and how you really wanted her there for __ _, she might see this as something bigger than you do-like losing her little girl, etc, but might also just be a personality thing like you said and something she needs to fix on her own:/

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