i am planning my jan '09 wedding and i briefly mentioned to my contact at my reception hall that i was considering hiring a DOC. she responded with the following:
"we will have a Matre D, captain (helps over see staff, porter (doeas allt he set up, bridal attendant (there for you the entire evening for anythign you need). i will also be on site until you are announced in to the ballroom after cocktail hour to make sure everything is set up the way you asked. i don't thik it is necessary to spend the extra money on a DOC unless you think you really want one"
i haven't planned a wedding before but i am unsure how to proceed. my wedding is in ny and i am planning from europe. so far i have done all the vendor research myself since i am not working full time here. i plan on visiting ny once this summer before the wedding but i won't get back again until 3 weeks before the actual date.
any advice on how to handle this? should i go it alone and maybe have friend or family member assist if i need it or should i hire someone?
Well, that is very nice of her. But what about picking out and designing a cake, choosing a DJ/band, who will do your hair, The invitations, the flowers, what flowers do you want, what favors and centerpieces, and all the details of the ceremony? I don't have a DOC, but don't they also help with contacts and arranging all of these things?
Like I said, I don't have one. But I am not planning from overseas and it does not fit in my budget. If it would fit in your budget, I would do it if I were you, especially from overseas. Good luck
I don't think DOCs typically help with choosing cakes, bands, hair, invitations, etc, that's usally for a full wedding coordinator. This is just me gathering this info from reading coordinator packages (I'm on the hunt!). A DOC, from what I've read, basically is doing exactly what your reception hall is providing. Making sure you're where you're supposed to be at such time, intercepting problems and fixing them before they reach you. From the info you received, I think the only thing you would need a DOC for is perhaps setting up programs, favors, but you'd have to check with your caterer if they already include this.
You might want to drill this lady a little more. Does the porter really do all the set up? Is there a time limit on anyone? (I know she said "all evening", but does that mean 4 hours? 5 hours?) Get the details in writing first, then you can maneuver.
I have a wedding coordinator because I am planning from out of state. She has been very helpful with finding vendors and helping me with my "vision". Many coordinators have packages with different levels. Maybe you could get a package where she just helps you find vendors but doesn't work on the actual day of the wedding. Good luck!
does she also coordinate all of the vendors? what would she do if a "wedding crisis" came up? i think you need to interview her just like you would interview a DOC and then make your decision.
I did not have a DOC but did have a maitre d and Bridal attendant with me all day. They were fantastically wonderful and I may be biased, but I feel a DOC is not necessary. I provided my entire bridal party with all the contacts of my vendors and gave them a timeline which included when the vendors were due to arrive and I let them handle any hiccups from there one. Personally, I feel that if your Bridal party is fully aware of what's going on and you have a good maitre d and bridal attendant, you've got nothing to worry about....I could go on and on about this, but if you want more info on how my day went for my wedding in NYC, you can email me at tyeung612@yahoo.com
I decided to have a DOC mostly for the work that she does prior to the wedding. She confirms with all vendors prior to the wedding, helps with the wedding day timeline, and she is helping at the rehersal. My DOC has also given me wonderful recommendations for florists, DJs, and photographers.
I also do NOT want my family to have to deal with any problems or issues that arise on my wedding day. My family is coming from out of town for the wedding and I want them to feel like the honored guests that they are, not like they are my gophers or problem solvers. For me, the help was worth the money, especially since I should be able to work a couple more days before the wedding than I would be able to otherwise.
Here's a blog post about the difference from one of the blogs I stalk. It refers to a full on wedding planner instead of a day-of, but it has a few good points. Disclaimer...I'm biased.
my advice is to hire a coordinator! it is well worth the money and since you're planning from across the pond, i think you would feel more secure having someone hold your hand through the process...
I don't think anything is necessary in a wedding outside of a significant other and someone to solemnize the wedding (the legal part of it).
With that said, it is REALLY helpful to have one if you can afford it but absolutely not necessary. If your venue is a hotel then it may not be necessary. If you are renting an empty space and there are 10 million vendors coming in at different times with 20 million rules governing everything, it is an excellent idea. So many things can go wrong with the latter situation.
Think about the size of your wedding and whether you can see complications arising.
I would highly recommend that you have one if you can afford it. It is nice to have someone solidify a timeline for you and to keep everyone on schedule. If there's a problem, they'll fix it so you won't have to hear about it (unless it's really bad).
Realize this, however; a DOC will only take you on under her wing at most a month out before the wedding. She will arrange a final timeline, verify all orders and specific details with vendors and confirm load-in/load-out times in addition to the day-of work. If you are looking for "hand holding" you may want to look into a partial coordinator or a full coordinator. Let me know if you have any questions!
Like the other people have said, it depends on your wedding. Are you going to have a bunch of DIY stuff and will the porter set that sort of stuff up? Have they worked with your florist/cake person/DJ/etc before and will they be willing to call the vendors if they don't show up on time or things are wrong? What if something is wrong with your flowers, for example?
Is your ceremony off-site? Do you have stuff that needs to be set up and broken down there? Stuff to be transported to the reception site?
If something goes wrong at the reception, do they know your tastes and what's important to you well enough to guess what you would want them to do or are they going to be coming up to you and asking you a million questions. Or change things in ways you don't like.
So it depends on your situation, what they are prepared to do, and how picky you are, I suppose.
I hired a DOC for my summer 08 wedding and I already feel that my stress level has gone down. I felt that I needed to hire someone to take care of the "business" (vendors) and make sure that all of the little details that I am spending so much time planning will actually be taken care of on the day of. I can't imagine having my family and friends "working" on the wedding day. You want people to relax and have a good time and not have to think about what time it is and whether the DJ is going to show up or whether the rose petals have been laid down before the ceremony. At the end of the day, paying someone $1000 which is only 1/50th of my wedding costs is going to be well worth it.
caliocteach, i don't think having a wedding planner means that you don't plan your own wedding. my wedding planner basically does all my b*tch work, things like dumping potential vendors, scouting out new vendors, finding random things online, answering questions about wedding etiquette and things, etc. i'm planning the entire event, she's supporting my plans.
What a DOC will do that your venue didn't seem to offer:
Set up decorations that you provide, set out favors, make sure your cake and flowers (and photo booth and band or DJ...) show up on time. Call and track them down if they don't. Make sure they have everything they need when they get there; provide a single point of contact with the venue if they don't (to get, for instance, an extra microphone for toasts, a table for the cake, a place for the photographer to stash his extra gear).
Some venues really do provide you a DOC - ours does. He is all ours all day, from 8:00 am until the event is over. He will do anything we need, including all of the above, and coordinate their staff as well. He has helped us worked out the schedule for the evening, meets with us (about once a month, as we schedule it) to talk through updates and changes in plans, and is available in between times by phone email to answer questions. Last week he drove sample table linens to our florist so she could see the colors.
I would ask some questions about specific tasks, and also about availability of these people before the wedding day. An attendant to get you "anything you need" is a lovely idea, but a better idea if you have some time to get to know her before the day of - same as your event coordinator should know quite a bit about your plans ahead of time. And I would investigate that "anything you need" thing a little more. Would that be anything you need that the venue normally provides? Or is she going to run out for Static Guard, or a new pair of pantyhose, or a tin of Altoids, if you think you need that as well?
My advice is to hire a coordinator. Sure, the location's staff will make sure everything they do runs smoothly, but who will call vendors who are lost or late and have a Plan B if anything goes awry. My guess is that reception location folks probably don't enjoy someone running the show at their venue (b/c I imagine some coordinators/planners probably bulldoze them).
If you're looking for an NYC coordinator, I'll happily recommend mine: Tracey Goldstein with Polka Dot Events
She offers a full range of services and while she's "only" my day-of coordinator, she's more than happy to help me with other aspects of the planning like thinking of centerpieces and other details. She's young, fun, energetic, and has fun ideas. She's just starting out so her prices are very reasonable, too. (Tell her Candice sent ya) ;)
I agree with Rebecca. Having a DOC doesn't mean you don't plan your own wedding. Let's face it, there are many of us who are OCD control freaks when it comes to our planning. However, do you really want to be running around on the day of the wedding making sure everything is exactly how you want it?
That's why you hire a DOC. I was one of those OCD brides, and planned every aspect of the wedding. BUT, I put it all down in a minute-to-minute timeline, reviewed all the details with my vendors and DOC, and turned it over to the DOC at the rehearsal.
I was able to enjoy every minute of the wedding knowing that a competent person was executing my vision. The key is to communicate your vision well to the DOC, then you just have to let it go and whatever happens, happens.
If you are NOT one of those OCD brides and needs more help w/ the planning part, then a full wedding planner will probably help.
I would think one of the biggest benefits of hiring a DOC or partial coordinator would be so that you can ENJOY your day. I recently hired mine and already feel like she is going to take a huge load of my mom and me. Instead of you or a family member/friend having the stress of organizing all the vendors/guests leading up to the wedding, you will have one point person to handle it all. Will the maitre'd make sure that your grandmother or elderly guests are served and comfortable, will they make sure there is enough toilet paper in the restrooms, what about if the band/DJ takes too long of a break, and heaven forbid a member of the wedding party is running late! My budget for my May '09 wedding is not huge but this is one 'luxury' that I am finding room for. I have to make sure Nana is happy! I saw go for it-if you have a good coordinator, you're day will be that much more enjoyable!
I don't have a wedding planner, but I have had several friends who did, and essentially the wedding planner did all the research and footwork. So you present her with your ideas, she runs down the possibilities that will work, and you make the actual decisions. So you're still doing the planning - but being presented with a suite of appropriate options to choose from rather than having to spend endless hours surfing the web and flipping through bridal magazines to find your ideas.
i am planning my jan '09 wedding and i briefly mentioned to my contact at my reception hall that i was considering hiring a DOC. she responded with the following:
"we will have a Matre D, captain (helps over see staff, porter (doeas allt he set up, bridal attendant (there for you the entire evening for anythign you need). i will also be on site until you are announced in to the ballroom after cocktail hour to make sure everything is set up the way you asked. i don't thik it is necessary to spend the extra money on a DOC unless you think you really want one"
i haven't planned a wedding before but i am unsure how to proceed. my wedding is in ny and i am planning from europe. so far i have done all the vendor research myself since i am not working full time here. i plan on visiting ny once this summer before the wedding but i won't get back again until 3 weeks before the actual date.
any advice on how to handle this? should i go it alone and maybe have friend or family member assist if i need it or should i hire someone?
posted by smileywiley 4 posts 7 months agoWell, that is very nice of her. But what about picking out and designing a cake, choosing a DJ/band, who will do your hair, The invitations, the flowers, what flowers do you want, what favors and centerpieces, and all the details of the ceremony? I don't have a DOC, but don't they also help with contacts and arranging all of these things?
Like I said, I don't have one. But I am not planning from overseas and it does not fit in my budget. If it would fit in your budget, I would do it if I were you, especially from overseas. Good luck
Candi
posted by Candi1024 304 posts 7 months agoI don't think DOCs typically help with choosing cakes, bands, hair, invitations, etc, that's usally for a full wedding coordinator. This is just me gathering this info from reading coordinator packages (I'm on the hunt!). A DOC, from what I've read, basically is doing exactly what your reception hall is providing. Making sure you're where you're supposed to be at such time, intercepting problems and fixing them before they reach you. From the info you received, I think the only thing you would need a DOC for is perhaps setting up programs, favors, but you'd have to check with your caterer if they already include this.
posted by AOEBuckeye 143 posts 7 months agoYou might want to drill this lady a little more. Does the porter really do all the set up? Is there a time limit on anyone? (I know she said "all evening", but does that mean 4 hours? 5 hours?) Get the details in writing first, then you can maneuver.
I have a wedding coordinator because I am planning from out of state. She has been very helpful with finding vendors and helping me with my "vision". Many coordinators have packages with different levels. Maybe you could get a package where she just helps you find vendors but doesn't work on the actual day of the wedding. Good luck!
posted by kleverkira 139 posts 7 months agodoes she also coordinate all of the vendors? what would she do if a "wedding crisis" came up? i think you need to interview her just like you would interview a DOC and then make your decision.
posted by rebecca 986 posts 7 months agoI did not have a DOC but did have a maitre d and Bridal attendant with me all day. They were fantastically wonderful and I may be biased, but I feel a DOC is not necessary. I provided my entire bridal party with all the contacts of my vendors and gave them a timeline which included when the vendors were due to arrive and I let them handle any hiccups from there one. Personally, I feel that if your Bridal party is fully aware of what's going on and you have a good maitre d and bridal attendant, you've got nothing to worry about....I could go on and on about this, but if you want more info on how my day went for my wedding in NYC, you can email me at tyeung612@yahoo.com
posted by MissBlueBear 271 posts 7 months agoI decided to have a DOC mostly for the work that she does prior to the wedding. She confirms with all vendors prior to the wedding, helps with the wedding day timeline, and she is helping at the rehersal. My DOC has also given me wonderful recommendations for florists, DJs, and photographers.
I also do NOT want my family to have to deal with any problems or issues that arise on my wedding day. My family is coming from out of town for the wedding and I want them to feel like the honored guests that they are, not like they are my gophers or problem solvers. For me, the help was worth the money, especially since I should be able to work a couple more days before the wedding than I would be able to otherwise.
posted by angiepangie 94 posts 7 months agoHere's a blog post about the difference from one of the blogs I stalk. It refers to a full on wedding planner instead of a day-of, but it has a few good points. Disclaimer...I'm biased.
posted by Angel 629 posts 7 months agomy advice is to hire a coordinator! it is well worth the money and since you're planning from across the pond, i think you would feel more secure having someone hold your hand through the process...
good luck and happy planning!
posted by Anti-Zilla 385 posts 7 months agoI don't think anything is necessary in a wedding outside of a significant other and someone to solemnize the wedding (the legal part of it).
With that said, it is REALLY helpful to have one if you can afford it but absolutely not necessary. If your venue is a hotel then it may not be necessary. If you are renting an empty space and there are 10 million vendors coming in at different times with 20 million rules governing everything, it is an excellent idea. So many things can go wrong with the latter situation.
Think about the size of your wedding and whether you can see complications arising.
I would highly recommend that you have one if you can afford it. It is nice to have someone solidify a timeline for you and to keep everyone on schedule. If there's a problem, they'll fix it so you won't have to hear about it (unless it's really bad).
Realize this, however; a DOC will only take you on under her wing at most a month out before the wedding. She will arrange a final timeline, verify all orders and specific details with vendors and confirm load-in/load-out times in addition to the day-of work. If you are looking for "hand holding" you may want to look into a partial coordinator or a full coordinator. Let me know if you have any questions!
posted by JCM9608 466 posts 7 months agoMy DJ is my director of ceremonies. I am planning the wedding myself. Not about to pay someone to plan my wedding.
posted by caliocteach 716 posts 7 months agoLike the other people have said, it depends on your wedding. Are you going to have a bunch of DIY stuff and will the porter set that sort of stuff up? Have they worked with your florist/cake person/DJ/etc before and will they be willing to call the vendors if they don't show up on time or things are wrong? What if something is wrong with your flowers, for example?
Is your ceremony off-site? Do you have stuff that needs to be set up and broken down there? Stuff to be transported to the reception site?
If something goes wrong at the reception, do they know your tastes and what's important to you well enough to guess what you would want them to do or are they going to be coming up to you and asking you a million questions. Or change things in ways you don't like.
So it depends on your situation, what they are prepared to do, and how picky you are, I suppose.
:)
posted by cs 16 posts 7 months agoI hired a DOC for my summer 08 wedding and I already feel that my stress level has gone down. I felt that I needed to hire someone to take care of the "business" (vendors) and make sure that all of the little details that I am spending so much time planning will actually be taken care of on the day of. I can't imagine having my family and friends "working" on the wedding day. You want people to relax and have a good time and not have to think about what time it is and whether the DJ is going to show up or whether the rose petals have been laid down before the ceremony. At the end of the day, paying someone $1000 which is only 1/50th of my wedding costs is going to be well worth it.
posted by AKPM2008 23 posts 7 months agocaliocteach, i don't think having a wedding planner means that you don't plan your own wedding. my wedding planner basically does all my b*tch work, things like dumping potential vendors, scouting out new vendors, finding random things online, answering questions about wedding etiquette and things, etc. i'm planning the entire event, she's supporting my plans.
posted by rebecca 986 posts 7 months agoHehe, if a $1000 was 1/50th of my wedding costs, I'd probably have a DOC too!
posted by peihan17 222 posts 7 months agoWhat a DOC will do that your venue didn't seem to offer:
Set up decorations that you provide, set out favors, make sure your cake and flowers (and photo booth and band or DJ...) show up on time. Call and track them down if they don't. Make sure they have everything they need when they get there; provide a single point of contact with the venue if they don't (to get, for instance, an extra microphone for toasts, a table for the cake, a place for the photographer to stash his extra gear).
Some venues really do provide you a DOC - ours does. He is all ours all day, from 8:00 am until the event is over. He will do anything we need, including all of the above, and coordinate their staff as well. He has helped us worked out the schedule for the evening, meets with us (about once a month, as we schedule it) to talk through updates and changes in plans, and is available in between times by phone email to answer questions. Last week he drove sample table linens to our florist so she could see the colors.
I would ask some questions about specific tasks, and also about availability of these people before the wedding day. An attendant to get you "anything you need" is a lovely idea, but a better idea if you have some time to get to know her before the day of - same as your event coordinator should know quite a bit about your plans ahead of time. And I would investigate that "anything you need" thing a little more. Would that be anything you need that the venue normally provides? Or is she going to run out for Static Guard, or a new pair of pantyhose, or a tin of Altoids, if you think you need that as well?
posted by suzanno 1,955 posts 7 months agoMy advice is to hire a coordinator. Sure, the location's staff will make sure everything they do runs smoothly, but who will call vendors who are lost or late and have a Plan B if anything goes awry. My guess is that reception location folks probably don't enjoy someone running the show at their venue (b/c I imagine some coordinators/planners probably bulldoze them).
If you're looking for an NYC coordinator, I'll happily recommend mine: Tracey Goldstein with Polka Dot Events
tracey@pdotevents.com
www.pdotevents.com
She offers a full range of services and while she's "only" my day-of coordinator, she's more than happy to help me with other aspects of the planning like thinking of centerpieces and other details. She's young, fun, energetic, and has fun ideas. She's just starting out so her prices are very reasonable, too. (Tell her Candice sent ya) ;)
posted by OceanStorm 31 posts 7 months agoI agree with Rebecca. Having a DOC doesn't mean you don't plan your own wedding. Let's face it, there are many of us who are OCD control freaks when it comes to our planning. However, do you really want to be running around on the day of the wedding making sure everything is exactly how you want it?
That's why you hire a DOC. I was one of those OCD brides, and planned every aspect of the wedding. BUT, I put it all down in a minute-to-minute timeline, reviewed all the details with my vendors and DOC, and turned it over to the DOC at the rehearsal.
I was able to enjoy every minute of the wedding knowing that a competent person was executing my vision. The key is to communicate your vision well to the DOC, then you just have to let it go and whatever happens, happens.
If you are NOT one of those OCD brides and needs more help w/ the planning part, then a full wedding planner will probably help.
posted by SoCalBeachGirl 385 posts 7 months agoI would think one of the biggest benefits of hiring a DOC or partial coordinator would be so that you can ENJOY your day. I recently hired mine and already feel like she is going to take a huge load of my mom and me. Instead of you or a family member/friend having the stress of organizing all the vendors/guests leading up to the wedding, you will have one point person to handle it all. Will the maitre'd make sure that your grandmother or elderly guests are served and comfortable, will they make sure there is enough toilet paper in the restrooms, what about if the band/DJ takes too long of a break, and heaven forbid a member of the wedding party is running late! My budget for my May '09 wedding is not huge but this is one 'luxury' that I am finding room for. I have to make sure Nana is happy! I saw go for it-if you have a good coordinator, you're day will be that much more enjoyable!
posted by Grdnofedn 8 posts 7 months agoI don't have a wedding planner, but I have had several friends who did, and essentially the wedding planner did all the research and footwork. So you present her with your ideas, she runs down the possibilities that will work, and you make the actual decisions. So you're still doing the planning - but being presented with a suite of appropriate options to choose from rather than having to spend endless hours surfing the web and flipping through bridal magazines to find your ideas.
posted by suzanno 1,955 posts 7 months ago