- 3 years ago
- Wedding: April 2015
After some debate, my fiance and I decided that we should do a destination wedding in Europe. The reason is because I am from Europe and he is from the States, and we would like a middle of the road location (not my country of origin).
As a result, we are thiniking 2 years from now… most people think it’s too far away. On the other hand, we can’t afford to do it sooner (we are paying for it ourselves). Plus, we would give our guests enough time to save up for their plane tickets.
Of course, we would pay for the cermony, venue and dinner/reception, but we most likely will not be able to afford paying for our guests’ accomodations. Is it expected of us to contribute to that? We also do not expect gifts from those who will attend the destination wedding, which we anticipate being rather small, around 10-15 people. We hope to be able to host a reception when we return to the US for those who could not make it to the destination wedding.
Now here is one of my dillemas. I’ve been reading a lot about couples signing up on registries and expecting wedding gifts as well as shower gifts. I will most likely not even have a bridal shower, as there is no one to throw one for me – we won’t even have a wedding party. On the other hand, I’ve been reading Miss Manner’s book on Distinguished Weddings, and I do not want to tell my guests what to get me, so I would like to refrain from creating registries.
I also see on websites like TheKnot that couples sometimes don’t receive any gifts from some guests and become resentful of those guests, and that some guests turn down going to wedding-related events because they cannot afford to keep buying gifts for the couple. So, when I read such things, it really makes me wonder about the real purpose of weddings – I would certainly like to celebrate with my friends, but the wedding industry has turned the event into such an outrageous expense, that the bride and groom hopes to recover some (if not all) of the money spent on the wedding in the form of gifts. If that doesn’t happen though, they may be left with a bitter taste in their mouth.
All this is bringing me back to my original wish to elope – but then again, family and friends want a party… It’s such a catch-22!
What are your thoughts on the wedding cost and your expectations of gifts from your guests? How about if you have a destination wedding?