Wedding Costs after he broke up with me

posted 4 months ago in Engagement
  • poll:
  • Post # 31
    Member
    141 posts
    Blushing bee

    Yikes, if you’re still in a custody battle, this likely won’t help matters. Your ex husband may use it to show that you’re not able to provide a stable, healthy environment for the kids. 

    Post # 32
    Member
    432 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    libellules :  Keeping his grandmothers ring would be an incredibly shitty thing to do. Don’t do that to his family!!!

    Also, you cannot go after his parents for the money, it wasn’t their wedding and are in no way obligated. 

    You can 100% take him to court to pay his hslf though, and for child support. 

    Sorry!!!

    Post # 33
    Member
    807 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    NDTieTheKnot :  😂 Pretty sure calling off a wedding with your pregnant fiancé is a lot worse than keeping his grandmother’s ring when he broke all of his promises. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    1600 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    kdavenport109 :  in NJ you don’t get to keep the ring, regardless of who initiated the break up and the reason. (Once you’re married, if you divorce, the ring is yours. But before marriage the ring belongs to the giver, period.). As for the other stuff, talk to a lawyer. It’s unlikely you’ll get much, if anything. 

    Post # 35
    Member
    4495 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    beethree :  Holy…yikes.  My advice remains the same however, OP.  You rushed this relationship and you have plenty of other things that should be the forefront of your mind.  Now you have two baby daddies and two custody battles.  Not that there is anything wrong with being with two guys and having kids by two guys…BUT your situation is insanely unstable.  It’s time to be single until you have stability again.

    Post # 36
    Member
    1749 posts
    Bumble bee

    NDTieTheKnot :  I agree, I think the heirloom ring should go back to the family regardless what the laws are. 

    All Bees here would be in a flaming rage, cursing any abominable swine who kept their grandmother’s ring. Do the right thing. 

    Who agreed to chip in for the wedding, a baby, a breakup, is a separate issue, than where the ring rightfully belongs, in honor.

    Post # 37
    Member
    432 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    libellules :  He broke up with his fiancee, and THEN found out she was pregnant. Big difference. She still shouldn’t keep his ring. That’s just spite.

    Post # 38
    Member
    2832 posts
    Sugar bee

    Don’t listen here about the ring until you consult an attorney. And I’m surprised by the harsh comments on here, you have been through a lot. Keep it until you get a lawyer involved. They are the only ones qualified to give advice regarding that. 

    Post # 39
    Member
    2832 posts
    Sugar bee

    I should add that yes an heirloom should be kept in the family, but you know what? When a broken promise costs you ( the OP) thousands and potentially tens of thousands of dollars the promise breaker needs to pay up. You wouldn’t have payed all that money just for the hell of it. OP thought reasonably that there would be a wedding. He ended it. So yea ring should stay in the family but he shouldn’t be a giant asshole and cost you money. 

    I don’t understand all the judgment here, many people have kids with more than one person. So what? Her ex still should pay up. 

    And the OP, you should lawyer up. 

    Post # 41
    Member
    388 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2008

    I am really sorry this happened to you, and I hope you find a solution to all of it.

    Unfortunately, I do believe that even with a lawyer, you’ll be taking a big gamble and could risk losing even more money. I would suggest you and your mom talk with the vendors, see what you can do, explain them the full situation and hope for the best. You might still be able to save some money if you act now. 

    I would also advice you to think long and careful about this new child. I won’t tell you to abort, but to prepare yourself for whatever may come… are you able to care for him? Can you support his financially? Etc.

    I don’t know how it is in the US, but here men can easily get away with not paying for child support in cases where they aren’t married/dated less than a year. They just give up parental benefits, and move or drop out of the woman’s radar. So please keep in mind that if you do have this child, you might end up being his/her sole caregiver.

    ETA: Wedding parties are, as far as I understand, not part of the engagement contract. Join properties or debts are, but your mom paying for a wedding might seem more like a wedding gift gone wrong than a compromise between you and your ex. 

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