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wedding costs - what was worth it and what wasn't?

posted 2 years ago in Money
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    Blushing bee
    formerlybuttons    June 5, 2010  

    Hello ladies!  I'm curious -- for those who are planning and those who already had their weddings: what was your biggest, most worthwhile wedding cost/splurge, and what is something that you wish you hadn't spent so much money on/don't think was worth it?  Alternatively, what do you wish you had spent more money on?

    For me, I love how chiavari chairs look but I'm debating if they're REALLY worth the added cost? 

    Or not even related to money -- what would you do differently about the whole planning process, if anything?

     

     
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    Meridee25    March 20, 2010   Long Beach, MS

    I'm also in the middle of wedding planning and would like to know what wasn't as important during/after the wedding as you thought it was during the planning process. At this point, I definitely know I want a great photographer. That is one thing I did not want to compromise since our pictures will be what we look at to remember that special day.  

     
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    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    our big splurge was our venue (included ceremony, reception, food, DJ, basically everything but liquor) only b/c it was a majority of the cost of the wedding.

    I didn't overspend on anything, but i can tell you that i'm really glad I didn't spend more than $150 on cake and $200 on flowers. I did Sam's Club sheet cake with a small, fancy bakery cake and silk flowers mom and I did ourselves. I also DIY'd my invites b/c as much as i love pretty paper, i'd rather spend my $400 elsewhere.

    our other splurge was our photographer, who does great pictures but isn't the most professional. Boo. So definitely splurge on a good photog! You don't want one who takes your money then forgets about you in lieu of other paying clients.

     
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    srismi    June 20, 2009   Washington, DC

    Post-wedding, I am very glad we spent money on the photographer and makeup artist.  I don't regret any purchases, but I'm glad we did cheap, non-floral centerpieces, and DIY flowers.  

     
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    Chela429    3/29/09   Long Island, NY

    Up-lighting in our reception hall really made the difference.  Everyone raves about the colors and how it fit our style and theme.  We spent almost $1000 but it was worth every penny.  Plus the pictures look fabulous!

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    shelliduke    October 17, 2009   New York, NY

    I don't feel like we have spent too much on anything, although we are a bit above our original budget.  Those little things REALLY add up!  But our biggest splurge (20-25% of the budget so far!) will be the videographer.  We kind of figured it was worth it since it will be something we can watch for years, and we didn't like any of the more affordable videos we watched.  Obviously I still have a couple months to go but I'm not spending much on flowers, our venue was also relatively affordable.

    And that uplighting is AWESOME!

     
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    naangel55    June 20, 2009   Long Beach, CA

    Our biggest cost to our budget was the venue/food but we had alot of people so it added up.  Not including the venue or food Id say my biggest splurge was upgraded satin linens in our colors and the chiavari chairs.  They are expensive but they were so worth it to me, it completely changed the look to the room if I were to have used the banquet chairs that were not appealing at all.  Plus I have always wanted the chiavaris.  Another splurge was the photobooth.  It was a huge hit and we had people use the pictures to put in our guestbook so its such a fun thing to look at after the wedding!

     
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    bobbypinpearls    July 17, 2010   Arkansas

    For us, well me, it's our photographer! which we are still trying to get money for, i hate how tight money is.

     
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    nybride09    9/19/09   New York, NY

    i don't think we overspent (by ny standards at least) on anything too much but the biggest expenses will be the photographer and food/venue. the photos will last a lifetime. i (and many of my friends and fam) are foodies - i LIVE to eat! so having great food was a must-do!

     
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    nomerstoo    May 9, 2009   Chicago, IL

    We budgeted our wedding down and I can't really think of something I regret spending money on.

    The makeup was definately worth the money for airbrush.

    Getting a good photographer was also worth the money.

    Lots of items were DIY.

    I did spend more on my dress than planned....$1100 when I wanted to find something under $800. And the grooms suit was custom made for $700 and we planned to buy a designer suit for about $500. But both were worth it.

     
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    Stacy Marie    July 24, 2010  

    @bobbypinpearls....I hear you about money being tight.  It's exhausting, always worrying about it!

     

    Our biggest indulgence so far is in a caterer (our guest list is ginormous thanks to FH's massive family).  The caterer includes china, so it sounded higher in price than others but the china being included actually made it cheaper in the long run.

     
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    hhcheung2000       San Diego, CA

    I think it's really important to spend money on:

    1.  A good photographer

    2.  A good videographer (so you can remember the event)

    3.  Good food (People will always remember how good or bad your food tasted)

    4.  A good DJ (otherwise people will get bored and remember how bad it was if you don't get a good DJ).  I regret not spending more on a better one, but we put a lot of work into it by spending 2 hours listening to songs we thought would be good for the wedding.

     

    Things to spend less on:

    1.  Centerpieces - Be creative and make one yourself

    2.  Shoes - Who will really see them if they're under your dress...I mean really (just make sure they are comfortable but don't pay a fortune on them)

    3.  Favors - You don't need to spend a lot on favors.  Keep it practical.  You can find a ton of favors at Michaels for $2 each.

    4.  Chiavari chairs - I still don't remember what the chairs looked like at the last wedding I went to.  I really wanted to get them, but the chairs that they had at the country club looked amazing when the lights were dimmed and there are candles on the tables.

    5.  Wedding cake - I found a cake for under $200.  You can as well if you shop around.  I found a bakery that won awards on theknot.com and was affordable at the same time!!!

     

     
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    GatorMOH      

    Photographer, hands down!  We were so lucky in so much that many people worked in lines of work where we simply bartered or they simply said, I would like to give you "x" as my wedding gift to you.  That help tremendously, but we did spend a lot of money on the photographer.  It was worth it.  He and his assistant caught so many precious moments, not only between me and my new hubby, but between us and our guests as well.  So worth the money and I have used my photos over and over again as post wedding thank you gifts and people (as cheap and/or silly as it may sound) truly enjoy having a wonderful photo of your special day!

     
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    Chantellamus    October 15, 2009  

    Like most my big splurge is our venue/food. Its rediculous actually! I honestly thinking back now with only 9 days to go would change alot and not have it as 'extravagant' as we are. something more casual etc.

    I went to a backyard bbq wedding and I wanted to die because of how much I loved it and wished my was as laid back and causal as it was....but sure enough I didn't go that route!

     
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    Mrs. DG    July 18, 2009   Seattle/Tahoe

    Let's face it, great photography can make up for lacks in virtually any other area.  (It helps if the details are great... but still). 

    If I were to do it again, I'd make the same choices: photography, then food/venue, then everything else!

     
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    Christine       Connecticut

    Our best splurge was definitely our photographer - we weren't planning on spending as much as we did but it was so worth it.  Besides that, we were pretty much on target with what we had budgeted, but food & the dj was also really important to us.  I think I would have cut out the candy buffet - even though the guests loved it, I don't think they would have missed it either.  I'm happy we went cheap on our centerpieces & altar flowers.

     
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    FutureMrsDuff    8/28/2009   Bloomington, MN

    This answer might change in 15 days after the wedding is over, but so far things I would say are worth the expense:

    - photographer

    - food and drinks/venue, I feel this is what will actually determine if our guests have a good time or not

    - professional hair makeup

    - favors and (non-floral) centerpieces, this is completely a personal preference and many people consider either a waste but for me they help define (and refine) a reception.

    Things I'm grateful we're not spending a lot of money on:

    - cake, I don't even like cake and due to how much I like the centerpieces and other decorations we're having it's not going to add that much to the decor

    - real flowers, I'm just personally not a flowery kind of girl - give me dramatic candles and manzanita branches any day

    - DJ, I'm spending $500 less than my friend who's only complaint was her DJ (and I was at the wedding, she had every right to complain) and I've already seen my DJ in action and he's definitely worth every penny from what I can tel

    Things I already wish we wouldn't have spent so much on:

    - my dress, but that is just because I have a heard time spending a lot of money on clothes. Not because I don't like them but because I take immense pride in finding good deals.

    - accessories/decor/etc. that I won't be using or don't really need, I bought these things on a whim without fulling thinking out what I really wanted to do. My advice is to go into every purchase knowing that's exactly what you want, and if you can't commit then just pass for now.

     
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    mspaisley    January 1, 2000  

    We're debating right now whether to splurge on the photographer or just use the money for a better honeymoon.

     
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    lilbird85    August 22, 2009   WI

    I will tell ya we are budgeting everywhere possible for this wedding and above all the number one most fantastic thing we have spluged on are :

    DANCE LESSONS

    I never thought in a million years that my reserved, quiet fiancee would ever EVER take dance lessons with me, something I have always wanted to do...not only this but we are choreographing our first dance...it makes it so special. It is such a "unecessary" cost in a way, but to me worth it at so many levels, I really recommend it to anyone willing to give it a try! It is the first activity we learned together and may even continue beyond <3

     
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    lilbird85    August 22, 2009   WI

    OH yeah, i am glad i did a lot of do it yourself stuff for my upcoming wedding, all you need are a few keepsakes which i figured are photos and engraved unity candle for me...and we are having a bbq rehearsal dinner at our house which will save a bundle compared to a restaurant serving 30 ppl!

     
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    cantabrigian    July 18, 2009   Stowe, VT

    Important things we spent our money on: Photography and Food. Though our caterer was actually reasonably priced b/c we went with a pig roast fare. We also upgraded to better chairs --not chiavari, but something more comfortable than the cheapo plastic ones. I know my elderly aunt appreciated it.

    Not worth it: My dress. In retrospect, I probably would have had a dress made, which would have been a splurge, but would have also been the same price as what I ended up with after alterations. oh well! Centerpieces: I made our centerpieces from flowers my sister and I hand-picked. Favors: We made a donation instead. It was a lot less hassle than a favor and I doubt anyone missed it. I know it's supposed to be a thank you for coming gift to guests, but I'd rather feed them as thanks (and we fed them 3 times over the weekend).

     

     
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    Gator      

    @Chela429 I love the lighting at your wedding, that picture was awesome!

     
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    nvybaby82    July 26, 2009   Alexandria, VA

    PHOTOGRAPHER! 

    Looking back on things I think we would've been ok with an IPOD (well we have Zune's) reception vice our DJ.  But that's it... I thought it was perfect!

     
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    IronMaiden    5/9/09   Boston

    My wedding was 3 months ago - looking back here's what I think:

    1.  Splurged on photog - DEFINITELY WORTH IT!

    2.  Didn't do videography, don't miss it at all.

    3.  Upgraded food - Definitely worth it, people are still raving about the food

    4.  Open beer/wine bar all night - DEFINITELY WORTH IT!  Wasn't in the original budget, cash bar is ok where I'm from.  Friends and family were surprised and still talk about how great it was.  We were able to do this b/c of diy centerpieces (which were still gorgeous), place cards and few florals, which was perfect for us.

    Only regret - not shelling out for hair/makeup consultants to come to my house.  We were running all over town the morning of the wedding and it made for some chaos!!  It would have been well worth the $$ to have them come to me.

     
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    vhoef02    July 25, 2009  

    The things we thought were totally worth it are:

    1. Photography

    2.  Food/Beverage

    3.  D.J.

     
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    jingle96    May 28, 2010   DW in ARUBA/livin' in VA

    My Fi and I had a budget, but that's out the door!  We splurged on our photographer!  We're having a destination wedding in Aruba and he is from VA.  But the photos were the number one thing to...everything else we're doing cheap!

     
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    marissa227    June 4, 2011  

    I really like the look of chair covers, but I am having a hard time rationalizing the cost, especially with our budget. Do you think they are worth it or not? I think I would rather spend more on photography and entertainment.

     
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    Soon2BMrsMcD    September 6th, 2009   Indianapolis, IN

    What about videography? Did anyone else not have a videographer and was ok with it? I'm debating on whether or not to hire one...some people say that its the best thing they spent money on, some people have said it wasn't worth it...opinions?

     

     

     
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    leloo    9/13/09   Boston, MA

    It is amazing how wanting to have a simple party can turn into an expensive wedding overnight! I  have been going back and forth between an expensive yet experienced photographer and one who is a third of the price because she is just starting out...

    In terms of videography, I found someone to capture raw footage only. He does a great job on wedding videos but I wanted to own the raw footage and couldn't bring myself to spend the money to have him edit it. I also have access to an editing lab and have some experience with videoediting. My friend told me that he regretted not paying the money for a videographer because he kids ask him about his wedding.  That is the only reason why I am doing it. Neither one of my sisters had it done professionally and they don't regret it.

     
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    bluespurrs    August 7, 2009   South-central PA, USA, Earth

    Our biggest expense was food and some of the guests who indicated they would attend didn't show up and so we actually spent too much! Although the officant coducted a lovely ceremony, I think she was a mite over-priced. Spent $300 on the silk flowers and they were worth every penny. My outfit was awesome, but I wish I had not spent the money on the custom-made replica dress by Gioavooni's Bridal because it turned out awful and I had to get another dress. And I am definitely glad we did not pay more than $250 for the photographer!

     
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    fizicsGirl    8/1/2009   Michigan

    I pretty much agree with everyone above re: food/drink, photographer, good music (which can even come from a well planned iPod playlist).

    One other thing that really made the day easier for me was having a DOC.  Ours didn't even end up being that great.  But it was good to just have someone who is responsible (who's not you).  If you have an awesome BM or family member, that could help...but having someone whom I could ask to do things guilt free was really nice!

    We got a relatively inexpensive cake...and it tasted great!  I love flowers so I wanted fancy centerpieces etc, but I think there are clever ways to have impressive centerpieces that are less costly (like incorporating your favors or renting cool vases and using minimal flowers etc).  IMHO, chivari chairs are not worth it if it's going to break your budget.

     
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    stephinPA    October 29, 2010   Reading, PA

    THis is a great thread.  I would say splurge on the photographer.  This is the person (people) who will be capturing one of the most important days of your life. 

     
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    MightySapphire      

    We saved money on these items and couldn't be happier that we did:

    • Dance lessons: we bought a CD instead and it worked GREAT!
    • Ceremony flowers: we didn't use them, and no one noticed
    • Aisle decorations: we didn't use them, and no one noticed
    • I did my own makeup and it was perfect
    • Dress: can you say "ebay?"
    • iPod reception!  My brother freejay'd for us, and it turned out awesome!

    Items I skimped on that I wish I hadn't:

    • My hair!  Oh my hair was a mess...wish I had hired a stylist...
    • DOC: I needed someone to take care of everything the day of...wish I had one of these!

    Items we paid for that I wish I had skimped on:

    • The food/drink...we spent way too much, wish I had gone for a buffet...
    • Our TTD shoot...even though I know it will be really awesome...I had regrets about spending so much on it.  I figured that out on my honeymoon when I was wishing I had spent all that money on an extra week in paradise!

    Items we splurged on that were totally worth it:

    • Photography!  So worth it to have pros there!
    • An awesome afterparty! We bought out a box at a baseball game with fireworks.  So totally worth it!
    • Our honeymoon...seven days of AMAZING...a lifetime of memories!

    In the end I regret spending so much on food, but I also regret how much money we spent on family just being there.  We ended up paying for plane tickets, hotel rooms, rental cars...the list goes on!  And while we both love our family, it is so frustrating thinking about how much we still had to "help out" even when we gave them plenty of time to save up to come!  I think if we could do it all over again, we wouldn't have helped out quite so much, LOL.  My DH was like "We could have spent more time in Hawaii with that money!"  LOL.  I just reminded him it's his side of the family.  Laughing

     
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    oKelsio    December 20, 2008   Watertown, NY

    My photographer was definitely worth it! We spent way more than we thought we should for him, but he turned out to be the DOC and photographer! He was wonderful!

    Im so glad we had our cigar bar. That gave the men something to do while all the women chatted and ate. We have some great pictures of the guys and their cigars =)

    I wish I would have spent more on flowers because our cermony sight looked a little plain... too bad hindsight is 20/20.

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    jingle96    May 28, 2010   DW in ARUBA/livin' in VA

    I'm glad everyone suggested splurging on the PHOTOGRAPHER cause we sure are!! 

    A okelsio:  were having a cigar roller at our wedding too and we mentioned it to the photographer and he got excited about taking those pictures!

     
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    Jessica Snaptacular Photos    April 26, 2008   Houston, TX

    Live harpist for the ceremony. She was actually one of the cheapest expenses, but she was worth sooooo much more. I saw her at a bridal show months later and told her to raise her prices!

    As photographers, we had a photographer friend take care of us, so we didn't have to splurge on that...but if we didn't have that resource, we definitely would have been shelling out a lot to get good photos!

     
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    Mrs. DG    July 18, 2009   Seattle/Tahoe

    We didn't miss having a videographer at all!

     
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    ddubzz    June 5, 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    Wanted to bump this thread to try to get more married bee insight.  FI and I are now really cracking down and setting a strict budget.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated!  :)

     
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    LatteLove    June 19, 2009   Chicago/San Diego

    We really missed having a videographer, een just a cheap one for the reception.  I'm so sad to not have our frist dance our sweet toasts not on camera. (and the best man's wasn't written ahead of time...so we don't have any of it!)

    I'm glad we spent the extra on a full open bar, and our menu.  Our photographers were friendors and did a great job on the photography, but are amatuer editors.  I will probably hire a photographer to do some editing to our digital prints. 

    DIYing flowers made things more affordable, but not as much as I thought it would.

    DIYing all the decor was fun as well, but again, I didn't save quite as much as I had planned. 

    Also, budget ahead for lots of gifts.  We had so many wonderful people helping out in lieu of a DOC and I had to dip into normal funds to buy gifts for them all (not necessary, but appreciated)

    Good luck budget planning!

     
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    Miss Chapstick    September 2009  

    Not married yet, but we're a month away. Yay!

    Things we're glad we spent money on:

    PHOTOGRAPHY. By far. Biggest plurge. We booked our dream photographer and have not looked back.

    Day-Of Coordinator. Especially in these last few weeks, she's been a life-saver. Knowing that once we arrive to our venur for the rehearsal, it's all out of our hands and we get to turn off our brain is the most amazing feeling.

    Venue. We both knew we wanted our venue two years before we got engaged. It was worth every penny (although, it didn't cost nearly as many pennies as we initially thought!).

    Alcohol. We upgraded our drink package to a five-hour premium open bar. We specifically had a small guest list (expecting 75) so that we could spoil the people who attend.

    Chair rental. Our venue only had really ugly banquet chairs. I almost had a heart attack when I saw them. We rented nice chivari chairs, and after seeing a mock set-up, I feel 1,000 times better about our reception. They literally change the room.

    Hair/make-up people. I hired an expensive hair/make-up service to come to our hotel the morning of. After my trial, I was fully convinced it was the right decision. I looked amazing, and photographed better than I ever had in my life. I've had my make-up professionally done before, but this team blew me out of the water. And I love that I don't have to get up and go anywhere the morning of the wedding now.

    Things we're happy we went cheap on:

    Cake. We ordered a small professional cake that will serve 50 people. We're setting up a cookie buffet and serving cheesecakes as well. Total for 75 guests, including the pro cake, cheesecake and cookies? $400.

    Centerpieces. I think we finally figured out that we spent $30 per centerpiece, and honestly, they're gorgeous. No flowers were involved. We used tall pussy willow branches in a tall, clear vase filled with natural stones, and then surrounded them with tons and tons of candles. I actually think it makes more of a statement than a lush, floral centerpiece.

    Flowers. We spent $300 on professionally-done bouquets and bouts for our entire wedding party, including parents.

    Decor. Besides candles, we're not doing any other fancy decor stuff. We did, however, ask that each married couple send us their wedding day photo, and include some words of wisdom. We're displaying them around our reception room so that people can get up, walk around and look at them all. Total cost for this project? $20, including frames, photo print outs and paper signs for 15 photos.

    DJ. We're doing an iPod wedding (or really, a MacBook) and pocketed the $500 we saved for our honeymoon. Our coordinator is overseeing our two music cues, and the rest will just work itself out.

    Videographer. Every single one of my married friends told me that they have never watched their wedding day video, but they look at their pictures all the time. They regret spending so much on a videographer, so we're having a trusted family member use our little digital hand-held video camera and calling it a day.

     

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