Post # 1
We are planning a very small wedding, I’m talking immediate family, grandparents, and our very closest friends ONLY (35 people max). We went back and forth with this, as our extended family alone consists of 100 people and our budget was doubling. FI’s aunt just informed us that she is coming to the wedding regardless if she is invited and that she will pay for her own dinner (which I would never let her do). I have an aunt or two that I can see doing the same thing. Honestly, I don’t really care if a few aunts or uncles show up or not. I just don’t want FI’s family who all lives here (mine whole family is on the east coast) to just show up unannounced if the other family members hear of them attending the wedding without being invited. I was SO excited about our stress-free, private wedding and it is once again turning into what everyone else wants but the bride and groom…
Did you have any wedding crashers? If so, how did you handle it?
Post # 3
I nipped it in the bud. I love how FI’s aunt thinks it is her place to “inform” you that she is coming. That’s nice and all that she offered to pay for her own dinner, but she is missing the big picture here SHE IS NOT INVITED and her presence above others is detrimental to the overall occasion. So what you do is INFORM FI’s aunt that you and your Fiance are having a very small private wedding for your special day. Share with her that though it is generous of her to offer to pay for her own dinner, it isn’t about money necessarily but your wishes to keep it small. Say that you know she’ll understand and respect the wishes of you and your Fiance because she is such a wonderful and thoughtful person. Wish her will. End of discussion, and don’t let it turn into a debate.
Post # 4
EXACTLY what @Cornflakegirl said! Very well said!
Post # 5
I have some guests who told me they will bring along their friends who arent invited. I’ve told them clearly that there will only be seats for the people on my guest list, anyone not on the list will not have a seat inside the reception hall
Post # 6
My sister had a similiarly small wedding, meticulously planned, however she did have one wedding crasher. A few of their college friends, were carpooling together to the wedding, and decided they could bring a mutual friend (one in which my sister and her husband where not to fond of). It’s still a sore subject for them now.
I strongely suggest letting everyone know your views as soon as you hear even the smallest whisper of other guests!
Post # 7
I don’t get along with my sister in law’s siblings. Heck not even her, but I am inviting her since she is my brother’s wife, but NOT her family. She and my brother have been hinting at her family coming and trying to get my mom to make me let them come, but it’s not happening. I tried to be friends with her side of the family to no avail. I have emailed but got no responses so now they think they are entitled to just come to my wedding. My plan is to give pictures to my wedding coordinator and to stop any crashers from attending. I am having a small intimate wedding for a reason! I do not want people who I don’t know or who don’t even care about me there.
I suggest you keep reinterating your views until it finally sinks in for them. Some people take longer to accept no as an answer than others. While I do feel that weddings are about family to a degree I believe that people should respect the wishes of the bride and groom.
Post # 8
@bells: That should keep them from coming! It would be super uncomfortable to show up and not have a chair!