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Sorry, but your BFF is kinda being a snob here. She can't book her date yet, so you booked yours WHICH doesnt even interfere with hers! I think she might be upset that yours is BEFORE hers, which IMO, is sorta bridezilla. Can she not do her destination wedding in Jan 2013 like she mentioned? Surely 4 months is enough time between your weddings? UGH. I feel for you girl, I'm sorry shes acting like this. You arent doing anything wrong.
Even if she did it in Nov. We were all fine with that. I asked. I am just flustered... and at a cross roads with my own plans :( Especially since there was actually no date for them set. 
*edit*
I think thats it. I am going to be married before her and it ticks her off. She just can't say it. I thought everything was ok!
@ashpaltbride: Exactly. Were you supposed to wait until April when she decided when hers was going to be and would be able to book it? Its a little crazy in my opinion. You picked a month that she didnt mention and that worked for you and your FI, nothing wrong here except her reaction IMO
Thank you for your input. Myself, my FI nad her FI all think she is acting over the top! and a little crazy!
I feel better with outside input. I needed a vent! TY
DON'T CHANGE YOUR PLANS!
She's just jealous and annoyed that she can't start planning her day yet.
Grrr this stuff drives me nuts. You get one day people! Not a week, not a month, definitely not 2-3-4 months!! Argh.
Don't worry about it. She'll get over it. Focus on yourself and your partner. That's what's important 
I agree with Misschickpea - I think it's your friend's issue - sounds like you have been very accommodating. I wouldn't move dates for her.
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So.... Long story short. My fiancee and his best friend bought us(myself and my bff) engagement rings same time. Proposed, we accept.
She tells me the next day that they are doing destination wedding. Nov 2012 or jan2013. They cant book anything till April. No set date tho.
I speak to family, her, her fiancee... about my wedding date... which i was wanting a month before. OCT 2012. This date accomodates many friends from far as well as my bro and his family. They say its ok.
I start booking.
Now she is angry. said i took everything from her. Im lost.
I have been with my fiance for almost 6 yrs... Ive waited 5 and a half to start planning my day! She knows this. Im not trying to "STEAL HER THUNDER" or "SHADOW" her.... I just wanna marry the man i was meant to be with. I'm stuck. Plans are well under way. Money has been spent.
Any advice? Advance apolgy for the broken rant, I am emotional and beside myself. I want to call off my "dream" and get married downtown. Just to save grace!
Sp*