Post # 1
my daughter got engaged 2 weeks ago after iiving with her boyfriend for 4 years. she wanted to get married aug 18 of next year, but i reminded her that her cousin was getting married (who got engaged 3 months ago) aug 25, so my daughter felt bad and didnt want to jump and get married before her cousin so she picked 2 weeks after. she wants an outdoor wedding, therefore being from the midwest have to watch the weather. my sister ad her husband called me and were very very rude telling me i only think of myself and we are stealing their little girls thunder and that i am in the wrong. i realize their concern about out of town family that cannot make it to both, so i said we would not invite them (we are talking 3-6 people). they just said family would complain about the expense of two wedding. the only way they will be happy is if my daughter waits two years to get married and my daughter is too excited to wait that long. i even suggested 4 months before her cousin to be married but she cannot do tht because again it is before her cousin. are we wrong, i feel horrible because i love my sister and cousin dearly but i feel they have depleted my excitement also. we shoud be happy and shop for mother dresses together, have the girls compare notes, blah blah blah. anyway we are not speaking now, what do i do and am i really that out of line??? thanks you so much for any input.
Post # 3
So they can let their daughter get married a year after she got engaged but you can’t? That’s unfair. Your daughter should be able to pick which ever date that best works for HER.
Post # 4
There’s nothing wrong with getting engaged after someone and married before them. Lots of people that got engaged after me will be getting married before me- people get married all the time. Four months is PLENTY of time if people are concerned about travel and finances.
Post # 5
@GON2BOJI: Your family is being unreasonable. I do not see what’s the issue. She is entitled to one day. I would have the wedding whenever your daughter chooses. If they want to attend, they may or may not. In the end, all that matters is if your daughter is happy.
HOwever, be prepared for rude comments, competition and bad behavior from your relatives
Post # 6
Don’t worry about other people and their silly ideas about date requirements and time frames.
Its her day, it only happens once, and it doesn’t matter how close or far it is! The other woman will have her day and thats the end of it. No need to compare or fuss.
Post # 7
My wedding is a month before my cousins and she got engaged first. We’ve had a great time going dress shopping together and helping each other out. Have the girls actually talked to eachother? This seems like it’s their thing to work out, not the moms.
Post # 8
They’re being silly and rude. As long as your daugthers wedding’s not 2 weeks before or after her cousin’s wedding it shouldn’t ba a problem.
Your daughter wanting to steal her cousin’s thunder? How selfcenter of them, cause your daughter wouldn’t be getting married if it wasn’t because of her cousin right?
Post # 9
You are not in the wrong at all. It sounds like you have put a lot of effort into being very considerate, and they are just not doing the same. I agree that you should pick whatever date works best for you! I would just be straight forward and let them know what date you have decided (telling them and not asking them) so that they can start getting over it and you can get back to being excited!
Post # 10
I am not usually one to say this, but a wedding is ONE DAY! Not an entire week, or month or YEAR! Pick the day your daughter wants, even if it is 6 days before! That may make it easier for family members because the OOT family can have an extended vacation! A bride gets ONE DAY!!!!! And since you have already changed the date once to be after the other brides, they can just piss off!
Post # 11
I can see this from both sides, because I could totally imagine if Bride #1 (your neice) was on Wedding Bee and posted “OMG my cousin just got engaged and now she’s having her wedding 2 weeks after mine and people can’t go to both!” Everyone would be like “OMG your cousin is sooo inconsiderate. She should pick another date!” And to be fair, there’s 365 days in a year and her cousin picked her date first, so why did your daughter have to pick a date so close to the other wedding? I don’t feel like your daughter should have to wait 2 YEARS (that’s just insane), but can’t she wait a couple months?… I feel like I’m missing part of the story here.
Post # 12
they are WAY out of line! you were the ones being considerate and thinking of the other’s feelings when deciding on the date and THEY were rude and heck! keep your date!
Post # 13
my daughter wanted august but could not because she did not want to marry before her cousin #1, so she picked 2 weeks later, her wedding is an outdoor wedding and much later than that could be too cold. and the reason for the ourdoor wedding is she wants it at the place her daddy worked (deceased) to feel close to her dad that day. i can see both sides, i understand they are upset completely, BUT i also feel there is really no other option, unless she waited a year. she cannot get married earlier (like April) because again she does does want to do that to her cousin.
Post # 14
Well, I understand not wanting to compromise on the location, but if she’s not willing to compromise on the date then she has to be prepared for some backlash. Weddings are expensive to attend, and I could see family members feeling “wedding’d out” after the first one. It sucks, but she was the 2nd one to get engaged, so that’s just the reality of her situation.
Post # 15
I think you are being very considerate given the situation. You’ve thought about how you are going to handle OOT guests, and given the cousin her excitement of being the first.
I honestly don’t understand how they are thinking they should get the only wedding that summer. My FI and I have weddings to go to two weeks before and two weeks after our weddings, for friends…
Post # 16
Each girl is having their own wedding and get to choose their own dates. I’m sorry but it sounds like your sister and her daughter are being really self centered. Your daughter would have to wait another year after the cousins wedding and thats BS. I would pick my date regardless of someone else’s wedding. It sounds like you guys are already being as considerate as possible, there’s not much else you can do when dealing with people who want all the spotlight on them. My FI’s brother chose the weekend of our engagement party to get married (they’re LDS so their engagement was about 1 month lol) and I didn’t say a thing. I showed up and congratulated them and was truly happy for them. You just cant plan your life around others, you have to do what works for you.