(Closed) wedding date conflict with cousin

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: having a fall wedding two weeks after cousin who picked her date first
    do i change date for a year later : (2 votes)
    5 %
    do i keep date as planned : (35 votes)
    95 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    893 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    So they can let their daughter get married a year after she got engaged but you can’t?  That’s unfair.  Your daughter should be able to pick which ever date that best works for HER.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2584 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    There’s nothing wrong with getting engaged after someone and married before them. Lots of people that got engaged after me will be getting married before me- people get married all the time. Four months is PLENTY of time if people are concerned about travel and finances.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1638 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @GON2BOJI: Your family is being unreasonable. I do not see what’s the issue. She is entitled to one day. I would have the wedding whenever your daughter chooses. If they want to attend, they may or may not. In the end, all that matters is if your daughter is happy.

    HOwever, be prepared for rude comments, competition and bad behavior from your relatives

    Post # 6
    Member
    7293 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Don’t worry about other people and their silly ideas about date requirements and time frames.

    Its her day, it only happens once, and it doesn’t matter how close or far it is! The other woman will have her day and thats the end of it. No need to compare or fuss. 

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    258 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    My wedding is a month before my cousins and she got engaged first. We’ve had a great time going dress shopping together and helping each other out. Have the girls actually talked to eachother? This seems like it’s their thing to work out, not the moms.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1542 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    They’re being silly and rude. As long as your daugthers wedding’s not 2 weeks before or after her cousin’s wedding it shouldn’t ba a problem.

    Your daughter wanting to steal her cousin’s thunder? How selfcenter of them, cause your daughter wouldn’t be getting married if it wasn’t because of her cousin right?

    Post # 9
    Member
    155 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    You are not in the wrong at all. It sounds like you have put a lot of effort into being very considerate, and they are just not doing the same. I agree that you should pick whatever date works best for you! I would just be straight forward and let them know what date you have decided (telling them and not asking them) so that they can start getting over it and you can get back to being excited!

    Post # 10
    Member
    715 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I am not usually one to say this, but a wedding is ONE DAY! Not an entire week, or month or YEAR! Pick the day your daughter wants, even if it is 6 days before! That may make it easier for family members because the OOT family can have an extended vacation! A bride gets ONE DAY!!!!! And since you have already changed the date once to be after the other brides, they can just piss off!

    Post # 11
    Member
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I can see this from both sides, because I could totally imagine if Bride #1 (your neice) was on Wedding Bee and posted “OMG my cousin just got engaged and now she’s having her wedding 2 weeks after mine and people can’t go to both!” Everyone would be like “OMG your cousin is sooo inconsiderate.  She should pick another date!” And to be fair, there’s 365 days in a year and her cousin picked her date first, so why did your daughter have to pick a date so close to the other wedding? I don’t feel like your daughter should have to wait 2 YEARS (that’s just insane), but can’t she wait a couple months?…  I feel like I’m missing part of the story here.  

    Post # 12
    Member
    2450 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    they are WAY out of line! you were the ones being considerate and thinking of the other’s feelings when deciding on the date and THEY were rude and heck! keep your date!

    Post # 14
    Member
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Well, I understand not wanting to compromise on the location, but if she’s not willing to compromise on the date then she has to be prepared for some backlash. Weddings are expensive to attend, and I could see family members feeling “wedding’d out” after the first one.  It sucks, but she was the 2nd one to get engaged, so that’s just the reality of her situation.  

    Post # 15
    Member
    236 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think you are being very considerate given the situation.  You’ve thought about how you are going to handle OOT guests, and given the cousin her excitement of being the first. 

    I honestly don’t understand how they are thinking they should get the only wedding that summer.  My FI and I have weddings to go to two weeks before and two weeks after our weddings, for friends…

    Post # 16
    Member
    1526 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Each girl is having their own wedding and get to choose their own dates.  I’m sorry but it sounds like your sister and her daughter are being really self centered.  Your daughter would have to wait another year after the cousins wedding and thats BS. I would pick my date regardless of someone else’s wedding.  It sounds like you guys are already being as considerate as possible, there’s not much else you can do when dealing with people who want all the spotlight on them.  My FI’s brother chose the weekend of our engagement party to get married (they’re LDS so their engagement was about 1 month lol) and I didn’t say a thing. I showed up and congratulated them and was truly happy for them.  You just cant plan your life around others, you have to do what works for you.

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