Post # 1
We found the perfect venue, but ran into a dilemna. The only available date that suit our needs is 1 week after my FH’s close friend’s wedding. We have already booked the venue but I need your opinion:
1. Do you think it’s necessary for us to send an email to alert the couple ahead of time that our venue is 1 week after theirs?
2. FH doesn’t think it’s necessary so I wanted to send the email out to the couple myself. Is it appropriate for me to send it to them both. I have know the guy for a few years but only met his fiance a handful of times. We do not email each other regularly. Should the email come from FH instead?
3. Going forward, what else should I keep in mind since our weddings are only 1 week apart?
Your advice is greatly appreciated!
Post # 3
Well, the first thing that comes to my mind is that your friend’s might not be there. Are they taking a honeymoon after the wedding? Unless it’s a minimoon, they probably won’t be back in a week. If your FI OK with not having his friend there?
If you are super close with the couple, then I do think a head’s up is in order. They may want to postpone their honeymoon to be at your wedding.
I think alterning them to the close proximity of the dates and saying something like, "We understand this means you might not be able to celebrate with you on our day."
In general, I think guys are more easy going about this kind of thing. Since you aren’t close with the other bride, she might not really care either.
Post # 4
Since this is your FI’s close friend, I would let him notify his friend via phone or in person if they hang out regularly. He can just explain that this was the only available date at your dream venue.
Do you guys have a lot of overlapping friends? If your weddings are too close together and require travel for those overlapping guests, keep in mind that some people may not make it to both weddings. Also, make sure you plan it out so that you will still be able to attend their wedding and not worry about your own wedding and the last minute details.
Post # 5
Thanks guys for your advice. We’re not sure if they planned their HM yet, that’s why I wanted to email them to let them know about our date. We are not super close however, we do see each other on all the major holidays with occassional get togethers.
They share the same circle of friends, but there are few out of towners so that shouldn’t be a problem.
Post # 6
I don’t think it should be a problem, but I can’t gaurantee the other bride won’t be upset. From threads on weddingbee, some brides have a problem, even with loosely associated "other brides". But I’ve known brides in this situation, and they have been fine. It doesn’t even sound like too many friends will have to travel. So most of the overlap guests can still make both.
The easiest part for the other couple is that your wedding is the week after. That way they can feel like they have the spotlight first. If there are any overlaps in attire, theme, ideas, etc. they get the chance to unveil first. If you planned your for the week before, you might have a less agreeable reaction.
Post # 7
Definitely let them know. I had this with my friend’s little brother, who asked MY brother to be a groomsman in his wedding, over a thousand miles away from mine, one week later. Apparently the groom came to my brother and said "Yeah, this is just the best time for us, we’re not trying to compete with December’s wedding at all, I’m sorry if it makes things difficult," and while I appreciate that, I still wish that they had spoken to me about it. Not that it would have changed anything, but I would have felt more appreciated and considered if they had acknowledged that yes, this does pose a dilemma for some of our mutual guests, no hard feelings. Also, if they are people that you would have invited anyway (it seems from your post that they are) be sure to send them an invitation even if you know they can’t come. That was another thing that my "rival" (j/k) DIDN’T do, and so I just felt through the whole process like they were effectively unaware that my wedding existed. It won’t necessarily be the prettiest situation in the world, but so long as you do your part in showing consideration, I don’t think you have anything else to answer for.
Post # 8
Tanya123- Thank you for the advice.
December, I’m glad you commented so I can see the other party’s point of view. It enforces my decision to email them for a heads up. If they are mad about it, there’s really nothing I can do but at least I feel I have done my part.
One more question for the bees – Going forward, Should I make it a point to send my announcements after they have sent theirs? I don’t want them to think I’m trying to steal their spotlight.
Post # 9
I am through the same thing with my sister. I just posted a thread today about it. Although they might not be happy about it, the least you could do would be to tell them. It will look like you are hiding it and being spiteful if you do not come out and tell them.