Wedding Date Drama

posted 1 year ago in Venue
  • poll: Should I change my wedding date?
    Yes, his sister should be there! : (4 votes)
    22 %
    No, she can't choose when you get married. : (12 votes)
    67 %
    Other : (2 votes)
    11 %
  • Member
    988 posts
    Busy bee

    @OkayDokey:  Before you even consider changing the date, his sister should go talk to her boss and request the day off. Since she has vacation time and it’s her brother’s wedding, hopefully she can get the day off and none of this will be a problem.

    Member
    2518 posts
    Sugar bee

    @OkayDokey:  I agree with PP. If I were in her position and my brother were getting married, I would do everything I could to attend. Call her bluff: ask her to ask for the time off before you consider changing the date.

    Member
    9241 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    If the date you have in your profile is correct, it might be tough to get literally the first week of school time off.  Does she live a distance away that she’d need a significant amount of time?

    If she’s a VIP guest and it’s important you both that she’s there, then I think she should be accommodated to some extent, but I think she should at least ask about the possibility before putting the kibosh on it.  DH and I have 5 days a year that we’re specifically not allowed to even ask for time off, or even it happens to be a regular day off, we must be on call, so it’s possible that she knows her schedule as well…

    However this “Should I consider changing my date for his sister?” sentence has a whole lot about you and not much about your fiance in it, when I think this should really be about accommodating his wedding dreams as well.

    Member
    720 posts
    Busy bee

    No, you can’t change the day you want for just one person.

    Trust me, when you start making changes for one person then you’re going to feel guilty when people have problems with the menu, the attire, the timing, this and that.

    Member
    4712 posts
    Honey bee

    I’m in favour of accomodating the people who must be there (generally immediate family), but she doesn’t sound like she’s being flexible. What exactly does she mean by “she might not be able to get time off”. Has she asked? I imagine school teachers can get the occasional Friday off if they give enough notice.

    On the other hand, if it’s the first week back at school, you might find it easier to move it back 1 week. Obviously that depends on your and your mother’s schedule.

    Member
    5777 posts
    Bee Keeper

    That is the first week of school and preparations must be made before the students come in after Labour day. Even if she is not a teacher, she needs to be there to make sure everything’s done and everything will run smoothly.

    Member
    224 posts
    Helper bee

    School starts at different times of year in different places. I’m a teacher and I have to go back the end of July here in AZ, and the students start the 1st week of August.  I do know a lot of places around the country don’t go back until after Labor Day. As a teacher, or even as support staff, it would be incredibly hard for me to take off during the first 2 weeks of school. Not impossible, but it would depend on how much time you would need her to take off. A day, I would totally make it happen for something as important as my brother’s wedding. A week, and there’s no way I could take that much time off at the start of the year. So I think it depends on how much time you are asking her to take, and how close to the start of the year it is.

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