Post # 1
I have had my wedding date picked for a few months now, but my venue does not allow anyone to book until after the first of the year. Not a problem, as I plan on being there, check in hand the moment the office opens My fiance was visiting his sister and told her the date and she became very upset because she works at a public school and will be in session at that time. She says she might not be able to get time off, but… she is a bit of a drama queen and she does get vacation time, so she may very well be able to take the time.
I choose the date because my wedding will be outdoors and this is the time of year when it will look the best and also because of my mom’s work schedule. I will need her help a lot in the weeks leading up to the wedding and she won’t be able to help very much if I change to an earlier date. Should I consider changing my date for his sister?
Post # 3
@OkayDokey: Before you even consider changing the date, his sister should go talk to her boss and request the day off. Since she has vacation time and it’s her brother’s wedding, hopefully she can get the day off and none of this will be a problem.
Post # 4
@OkayDokey: I agree with PP. If I were in her position and my brother were getting married, I would do everything I could to attend. Call her bluff: ask her to ask for the time off before you consider changing the date.
Post # 5
If the date you have in your profile is correct, it might be tough to get literally the first week of school time off. Does she live a distance away that she’d need a significant amount of time?
If she’s a VIP guest and it’s important you both that she’s there, then I think she should be accommodated to some extent, but I think she should at least ask about the possibility before putting the kibosh on it. Darling Husband and I have 5 days a year that we’re specifically not allowed to even ask for time off, or even it happens to be a regular day off, we must be on call, so it’s possible that she knows her schedule as well…
However this “Should I consider changing my date for his sister?” sentence has a whole lot about you and not much about your fiance in it, when I think this should really be about accommodating his wedding dreams as well.
Post # 6
No, you can’t change the day you want for just one person.
Trust me, when you start making changes for one person then you’re going to feel guilty when people have problems with the menu, the attire, the timing, this and that.
Post # 7
I’m in favour of accomodating the people who must be there (generally immediate family), but she doesn’t sound like she’s being flexible. What exactly does she mean by “she might not be able to get time off”. Has she asked? I imagine school teachers can get the occasional Friday off if they give enough notice.
On the other hand, if it’s the first week back at school, you might find it easier to move it back 1 week. Obviously that depends on your and your mother’s schedule.
Post # 8
That is the first week of school and preparations must be made before the students come in after Labour day. Even if she is not a teacher, she needs to be there to make sure everything’s done and everything will run smoothly.
Post # 9
School starts at different times of year in different places. I’m a teacher and I have to go back the end of July here in AZ, and the students start the 1st week of August. I do know a lot of places around the country don’t go back until after Labor Day. As a teacher, or even as support staff, it would be incredibly hard for me to take off during the first 2 weeks of school. Not impossible, but it would depend on how much time you would need her to take off. A day, I would totally make it happen for something as important as my brother’s wedding. A week, and there’s no way I could take that much time off at the start of the year. So I think it depends on how much time you are asking her to take, and how close to the start of the year it is.