- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2010
I have been engaged for nearly a year (will be one year this coming saturday–woot!) and my FI and I picked our wedding date in August 2010 (and announced it to our entire families) just a few days after we got engaged.
My cousin just recently got engaged, too, and they’re thinking of having their wedding very near the date of ours, possibly 2-4 weeks before ours, or 2-4 weeks after ours. It would be in the same city, or very close to it.
At first, I thought maybe they picked a date so close to ours on accident, perhaps because they had forgotten our date or spaced it or something. However, I have since learned that they know what our date is, and how close it would be to their potential dates.
I also thought that maybe they just don’t realize the potential conflicts that might arise from having our weddings so close together. They’re in their very early 20’s, and I know that when I was that age, I just didn’t really understand or think much about wedding do’s and don’ts (I am not disrespectful of our young bees, I am just trying to give this couple the benefit of the doubt, like I hope people did for me when I, personally, was young, single and oblivious!).
I don’t want to be a troublemaker, so I don’t really want to say anything and I hope it just works itself out. However, I can’t help but wonder if it might be worth saying something, as tactfully as possible, in an effort to encourage them to choose a date a little farther away (either before or after, I have no preference) in order to avoid potential problems. As just one example of the issues I can foresee, some of our mutual guests may be forced to “choose”; at least 20 of our very close relatives (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) would have to travel for each wedding (at $300-$400 airline tickets–ouch), and I am guessing that most of those particular people would ultimately have to choose one or the other because of financial and/or time constraints. At the very least, it would be a heavy financial strain for those guests. And then there is the potential for emotional conflicts–possible jealousy, “thunder-stealing,” unnecessary and potentially hurtful comparisons by other people (e.g., I liked this one better or so-and-so should have done what the other couple did, etc.).
What would you do? Would you say something before they select their date? How much time–in your opinion–is a good “buffer”?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!