(Closed) wedding date stealer

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: was i wrong to book mine on the 29th?
    yes you should have moved your wedding around her : (3 votes)
    6 %
    no, you told her what dates you had choosen : (30 votes)
    64 %
    nobody owns the month of september : (14 votes)
    30 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2091 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Eh… I can see both sides of this one.

    On one hand, she did know that you were looking at those 2 weekends and booked it on one of them anyways. On the other hand, you hadn’t booked a date yet – so is she supposed to wait around for you to make a move before she plans her own wedding?

    I tend to side with your friend. Even though you were talking about that weekend (it was one of your choices, anyways) nothing was set in stone. Therefore it’s perfectly okay for her to go ahead and book the date she wanted. Like you said in your poll options, no one owns the month of September.

    ETA: I can understand her being upset. But she is definitely overreacting.

    Post # 5
    Member
    65 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Her “we will work it out:)” should mean that she shouldn’t be mad at you. You told her what you were thinking and she planned it that way. I don’t think she has much right to be upset with you. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    5892 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2012

    i’d be royally pissed.  was there a particular reason she had to have september?  i know you only get one day, but that’s a bit ridiculous on her part.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3314 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I disagree with Gingersnap.  This isn’t a case where you had some mythical date that never really materializes, this is a case where it was a definite that it would be either this date or that date.  If it was going to be a problem for her, then SHE should have booked an earlier or later date that she would have been happy with.  I can TOTALLY understand your unhappiness, and I think you did the right thing by being the bigger person and being happy for her even though you were hurt that she hadn’t really cared too much about your date conversations together.  I DON”T think that your friend has ANY right to be angry at you.  You clearly told her several times that it was going to be one of those 2 weekends.  

    I’m sorry you are having to deal with this.  I hope she can wake up and see the light.  If she’d handled this with as much aplomb as you did, then this could have been a slight bump rather then a huge mountain of a problem that she’s now making it.

    Post # 8
    Member
    333 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    This is how I personally look at it. You told her your two dates that you were looking at….lets face it you always have to have a back up date if the first date is booked. I think that it was totally uncalled for her to book the day after your wedding in the same place for the fact she just told you 3 days pier that she was going to book a place for july 10th. If anyone should be mad here it should be you. She talks about the friendship being over…well from what I see she obviously thought it was over a long time ago or she wouldnt of booked the day after your wedding. A true friend wouldnt steal the thunder from you. Yes yes guys I do know you only get one day….well to me you dont even get that because let face it….with your friend having her wedding a day after yours I am sure she would not beable to attend your wedding…she would have to much on her plate with her own wedding the next day! Plus not only that there is a lot of planning and chaos the week of the wedding and two brides that are friends that are suppose to be at each other weddings equals drama!

    But that is just my opinion!

    Post # 9
    Member
    7296 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    ya, i am with the bees who say that she first of all has NO right to be mad at you. AND i can see why you are upset.  unless we are missing some details from the story here, it seems like it was pretty clear what date you were going to take. 

    i am confused about one thing. from what i understand, her wedding is on a dunday and yours is on a sunday – so why cant you attend each others?  i can see it being more stressful for her, but if I were here, i dont think i would miss a good friends wedding for anything – even if my own wedding was the next day!  And why can’t you attend hers since your wedding will be over and done with by the time hers begins?

    Post # 10
    Member
    1577 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I think it’s crazy that she would text you out of nowhere saying that she’s now considering the same exact two weekends that you’d already told her.  I really don’t feel like she has a right to be upset at all.. she caused this.  If I were you, however, I would be upset.  But honestly, I don’t see how she has a right to be upset with anyone but herself. 

    I’m sorry that you’re even dealing with this, doll.  If she’s willing to throw away your friendship over something she caused herself, so be it.  Could be a blessing in disguise.

    Post # 11
    Member
    333 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @PurpleUnicorn oh I dont think she said anything about not attended…I just asumed…I didnt know if prettyinpurple was going to be taking a honeymoon the day after…plus if the friend is saying the friendship is over…Im sure she wouldnt attend the wedding of prettyinpurple nor invite prettyinpurple to her wedding!

    But thats me I do asume a lot….one of my bad quiliaties…lol

    Post # 12
    Member
    370 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    First of all, it seems odd that she would go from a June wedding to looking at the exact two weekends that you had expressed interest in. When you reminded her that these were weekends that you had been talking to venues about her response of “we’ll work it out :)” implies that she’s fully aware that there’s a fifty percent chance you’d be having your wedding the day prior to hers, and that she’d be fine with it. It seems like when she booked her date she actually just assumed that you’d cave and rearrange all of your prior planning that may have been in place, no questions asked, no conversation necesary. It’s a little childish and definitly a lot self centered. If she was going to have a problem with it she might have had an actual talk with you about what having the same wedding weekend could mean instead of just begining some bride wars-esque drama because you didn’t read her mind and do what she expected of you.

    Post # 13
    Member
    7296 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    @d_mari3:  true about the friend saying the friendship is over, i guess i was thinking if they resolve this somehow, then hopefully they will want to attend eachothers weddings!  and as for honeymoon, i guess if it were me, i would wait until monday to leave, no biggie!  but it was also what prettyinpurple said here “i totally understand her upset b/c i felt the same way but tried to be the bigger person with trying to look at the bright side like we can still be there for each others showers etc.”  that made me think they would not attend eachothers weddings if they were back to back….

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    3314 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @dynamic_duo:  The op actually said she wouldn’t attend if it fell on either of those 2 weekends, so you are right in that:

    “Well i told her i was going to book either the 22nd or 29th and that would mean her wedding would either be a week after mine or the day after and i wouldnt be able to attend.

    The topic ‘wedding date stealer’ is closed to new replies.

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