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WHy do you not like the third date? Are there negative memories associated with it? Is it not as soon as you'd like? You can make a beautiful wedding with any date!
Our wedding date is probably the most important thing to us so I would be completely devastated if we didn't get to go through with it. With that said, I feel you should do what you want. Are your parents paying for the wedding? I ask because if someone objected to our date (they have actually) it wouldn't change my mind at all..."Sorry you can't make it. We will miss you." but again, I would have a super small non fabulous wedding if that's all I could get for that date.
As for things not speaking to you, forcing it won't help at all. I've experienced the "Nothing is speaking to me" feeling and I just had to put it on the back burner until something did. I had to wait months until I figured out what I wanted for the cake and now I'm stuck on what to decorate the bottom layer with.
I wouldnt think to much into it. ITs not a memorable date until you make it one. Just stick to it and start planning chica!!!!
What's the date? Maybe we can find some cool stuff about it that will change your mind. Ha! :)
If this is really true: "all I really want is a beautiful wedding with the people I love there to celebrate it," then you'll come around, once you see if that is the date that works the best to have all the people you love there.
We picked our date because it was available and when we have time! I think that the magic of the date is what happens on the date not what a psychic or calendar says about the date!
We picked our date with no thought in terms of significance. We wanted early summer, we needed a date after FI's school year was over (he's a teacher), and after prom, HS, and college graduation (for various BMs and GMs). The date means absolutely nothing to us or anything else.
Honestly (and this convo has been had before) the only date I wouldn't have would be a major holiday (Christmas/Thanksgiving/etc) or September 11 (just because I'm from NY and that date has too many negative connotations)
We picked our date because it was the only date in 2009 our venue had available. No significane or anything else. YOU make the day special, not the date ;o)
We picked ours based on scheduling - I wanted to be home for the 4th of July, but didn't want my family to have a wedding on that weekend. So, next weekend!
i really think the date is the less important factor. It's a date. Once you have your wedding on that date, though, then it matters - and you won't really care about the numbers.
I agree that you make the date special. We knew we wanted a spring wedding so we wanted to go with the month of April if all possible. Since I am getting married in Augsuta, we had to plan around the Masters Golf Tournament. It could not the weekend before or the weekend of the tournament because all of his family is from OOT and the hotel prices are sky high during those weekends. Our date is the following weekend because our venue was available then and the hotel room prices will be drastically lower. There was not any magic until the planning really started, and now I could not imagine another date. I think you will love your date, no matter when it is because it is your special day. :)
Confession: I don't like my date. It's the only practical date for us, just doesn't have that ring to it for. I don't know what to tell you, just wanted to commiserate!
We picked our date because it's distant from other gift-giving dates so gifts will be given evenly throughout the year, and because my parents approved of it as being "a good day to get married." Lol!
All of the advice here is so true - you will make the day special no matter what the date it is :)
We've gone through some wedding date woes as well...we are on the third date and I am happy to say this one isn't changing.
I know I'll have to take into consideration school holidays as my dad is a teacher. I'm not allowed June apparently (EVERYBODY'S birthday/anniversary seems to be in june in our family) and to have it around Christmas would be somewhat hectic. I would like it to be as close to our anniversary as we can get in 2011. We want a church wedding and it is 'easter saturday' :S I may need to get thinking on that one.
I picked mine sort of randomly, with no significance, which I think is way more common...It's nice to be able to imply some significance to the date but so not necessary and oftentimes, really really difficult!
Picking our date was surprisingly very simple.
So we ended up with July 18 and July 25th taking all those "rules" into account. We went into the registry office (read; county courthouse) and agreed that we'd try to get the first date and if they already had a booking we'd take the 2nd date. The first date was free and thus our wedding plans began.
Family have shot down the date for various reasons. But it's our wedding, we're paying and if they want to be there then they know when it is and if they have a problem with it we'll send them photos. End of. My family and his family like drama so it would have escalated. Did I feel anything special about picking our date? No. But now when I think about it I'm super excited and happy because that's the day that I get married and that's how I'm always going to remember that day.
Awwww - family opinions are extremely stressful!!!! We had to choose our date by default - it's the only date that would make sense for us to get married due to my school schedule. Whatever date you end up choosing will be a great date because you will be making your lifelong commitment to your loved one!!!! Keep your chin up - things will work out :)
We have a default date- due to family opinion, work schedules, and venue availability. Is it the date I would have chosen on my own? No, but what do you do and make it work. For us, that meant deciding to have a private ceremony (he has horrid health insurance & I'm making him a benefits groom) and having a celebration with our family months down the road.
Hmm... I know that some people pick dates for sentimental reasons but we don't plan to. We are picking a convenient season and then we're going to see what dates are available once we pick a venue and go from there!
When we got engaged, my fiance asked when I wanted to get married? I said on the count of 3 we both say what month we want to get married...so on 3, we both said October. So we knew we wanted Oct, we picked a few Saturday dates, but had to compete with football schedule...Husker football is huge here, so we opted for Oct 9th, since it was an off week for them, but we realized it is FI parents anniv, and we wanted our own date, so we decided on a Friday, and 10.01.10 worked w/ our church and our venue. I love our date, and it is even more special now that we are in the planning stages. But there was people who have complained about our date, it is hunting season, a Friday and they will have to take off, but we just decided the date was right for us, and hopefully all can attend, if not, we know they will be there in their hearts! We just went with our hearts, and everything else falls into place. Please you and your FI first, family will come around
I agree that you make the date special. I wanted a September wedding so the weather would have a good chance to be nice, but we had criteria, as well, which made that ultimately impossible.
1. Mr Spin finishes class in June and will probably take his boards in July sometime
2. The world stops in Nebraska for Husker football and I didn't want people skipping our wedding to go to the game or complaining that there's no tv to watch it on. (jtsing knows what I'm talking about! ^_^)
3. We have 2 slow times at my job and for the fall it's around late July/August/early September and I can't take much, if any, vacay during our busy time.
4. Mr. Spin's close friends are getting married at the end of July and his other close friend (lives out of the county now) said he would come to both weddings or neither, so we needed to be in the same 1 month time frame so he could take vacay and come.
All those combined gave us the date of the last weekend in July or the 1st weekend in August. First weekend in August meant we had a weekend of leeway between us and our friends' wedding. Ta da!
Some people think it's inconvenient that there are 2 weddings in 3 weeks, or that it's going to be too hot, or this or that. I say, oh well. That's the day that works. Pick a day that's convenient for your and your FI and meets your criteria (pricing, venue, local events, etc). Whether it's June or January it will be amazing because it's your wedding day. ^_^
EDIT: Getting all of our ducks in a row meant we ended up with a 2 year, 3 month engagement. Which is hella long, but such is life. ^_^ Gives us more time to save (which I've been doing!) and more time to research options.
Thank you everyone.. it really is helpful to hear about how everyone else did things.. xoxo!
We chose our date because we graduate this December and March is enough time to recover from the holidays. March 13 is also before March Madness and spring break prices. I was a little nervous about the number 13, but I found out March 13 will be the day my parents met 40 years ago.
Ladies... It seems like I am doing things a bit backwards. When my fiancé proposed, I immediately wanted to choose a date and work upward from that. In most cases I feel like there i supposed to be some kind of order to things. So, was I supposed to choose a venue FIRST and than choose a date? In some of your replies I see that some of you did that, I wonder if this is a must? I am guessing that there is always a chance that if you choose a date first, the venue you like may not have that availability.
I wish I could know ahead of time how things would play out. I feel like if I choose a venue first, and than a date.. how will i be able to budget properly? I thought budgets should be drawn up as the very first step.
Oh, i'm so confused and stressed out already and I haven't even started yet! :(
Ok ladies.. I think I have decided to choose a venue and then pick a date based on their availability. That seems to be the best way to go!
Going tomorrow to see a Holiday Inn abt 30mins north of me, to see what they have to offer.
Thank you so much for all your help.
xoxo
@Aimeegirl: I think you should pick general times that work for you and then leave it open a little bit to your venue's availability. For example, we picked June - 1st, 2nd, or 4th weeks (3rd is H.S. graduation) Our venue was booked on June 5, so we took the 12th. Then booked everything from there.
I think your budget in terms of timeline is how far away you want to have the wedding. We had a 2+ year engagement so we had plenty of time to save money (we started at zero)
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Hellooo Bee-friends..
So, I hope to make this fairly quick...bear with me! I really need some advice here.
When my fiancé proposed to me this passed Valentine's Day I was so excited to begin planning the wedding I had always dreamed about ..since I was like 8! I could hardly contain myself. SO much has happened in the last 8-9 months that all the potential planning has come to a full stop and the date we originally wanted has been changed several times, resulting in NO DATE at this point. (Because of financial problems).
Last weekend, my mother, a close family friend, myself, my brother and my fiance and I sat at the dining room table and talked about dates. I put 3 different dates that we were throwing around on paper, folded them up and put them in a bowl. I mixed them up a bit and had my brother pick one. Everyone shot the date down immediately. I had him pick again. Same thing happened. So we ended up with that 3rd date simply by default and when I read it outloud, it just didn't tickle me. Where was that Wedding Date Magic?? I read a few articles here and there about choosing your date.. whether by symbolism, season, price, etc. But .. i guess you kind of have to have a style or theme in mind and that will help you decide? Unfortunately because of the rollercoaster ride i've been on for the last 9 months I am just short of running off to vegas and eloping just to get it over with (and believe me every time I think of that plan I want to cry because all I really want is a beautiful wedding with the people I love there to celebrate it).
Did anyone else go through these wedding date woes?? I feel like the date should speak to me, but lately because of things that've been going on, i just feel like the whole wedding is a hoax and it'll never happen. Running the risk of sounding like a spoiled child? I fee like stamping my feet and running off to hide somewhere. Nothing seems to be "speaking to me" lately when it comes to wedding stuff. I'm finding all of it very frustrating and that is mostly because I want what I cannot have or afford. What is the cure?!?!
All of this is made a little worse because my fiance tends to feel my pain and he feels bad that he can't just give me what I want.
I dont want to be a bridezilla, but i'm starting to feel like one and we don't even have a date yet!
HELP!