(Closed) Wedding Dates to close???

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am sorry but I would feel the same way if my brother/sister did that to me too! 🙁

Post # 4
Member
8325 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think a month is a fine gap between family weddings. My BIL got married 10 days after us and it wasn’t a major deal and nor did it lessen either of our weddings.

Set your date for when it best works for you and your fiance.

Post # 5
Member
2552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

oo- thats a hard one…. If I were her I’d be really peeved about it as well (though mostly b/c alot of my family would have to choose one event over the other b/c they don’t have the funds for two weddings in a single month). However, given that you wrote her a nice letter explaining the grandparents failing health & other scheduling issues she should have at least tried to be understanding (that & you’ve been together for 6yrs, sorry for them but that takes priority!)…. I guess I’m just saying I’d be conficted- happy you two are finally able to get hitched while feeling bad about the timing issue, but also mad that its before my wedding (I’d feel like my wedding was going to be compared to yours by the same guests)….

Post # 6
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

me too

Post # 7
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I can understand why she would be upset.

Are you *trying* to “steal her thunder” ? Why not make the wedding around the same time as the reunion?

Post # 8
Member
11354 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Unless there were an issue with out-of-town, extended family being unable to attend both weddings that closely together (and, from your post, it does not sound as if that is the case), I don’t think there is a problem.

Post # 9
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would be upset. I understand you don’t mean harm to her, but I can see how your family may be more into your wedding just because it is happening first. They may be burnt out from weddings after yours if they are really involved too. Also since she planned her wedding date first I think it would have been more respectful to consult her than make a decision beforehand.I know you didn’t book the date yet but I guess when you tell others about it then she assumes you made the choice although nothing has been paid.

It is very nice of you to offer help with her wedding. And I get that your FI’s grandparents are elderly so it makes it harder to prolong a wedding date. Are they sick right now? If so maybe ask your brother to explain that to her. If they’re not sick it be hard to justify having the wedding earllier. 

I think it be best for either you or youR brother to have the conversation with her in person to avoid any possible conflict that may be misconstrued through tone in a letter. 

Good luck.

Post # 10
Member
8164 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Honestly if it was me, I’d be upset too.

Post # 11
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d be annoyed. A month later? Fine. A month before, when they picked their date first? Yeah, it would tick me off.

Post # 13
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I agree with sitting down with your brother and telling her about the grandparents in person. Maybe it will seem more sincere in person than an email. I think my first reaction would be like hers but after I heard it in person and knew it was a good reason I would be more ok with it! Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

why not go for the month of march? the gap is even larger then…and the weather in the south is pretty nice in march. it may still tick her off cuz you’re getting married before her, even though you got engaged later. but at least it’s not the month before.

Post # 15
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I might have an issue with that. It just requires a lot from all of your guests (assuming you would be inviting some of the same people). But if its the only time you can get married- Go for it!

Post # 16
Member
1172 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I was thinking I would probably be ticked off to, but seeing how the grandfather is battling cancer and grandma is in the beginning stages of Alzheimers I would agree that waiting is not really an option. Im a girl from Tennessee and I can tell you that even in March its still pretty cool. April is perfect for outdoor weddings. If you wait til June it will be hotter than three hells I know this because my first wedding was in June outside, thanks to my former MIL who thought it would be perfect. It was outdoors and the icing on my wedding cake literally melted even in the shade. It ended up being 98 degrees in the evening time.

I say just continue being nice, talk to your brother and have him explain the sick grandparent issue.

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