Wedding day advice and regrets

posted 3 weeks ago in Recaps
Post # 2
Member
6629 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

The best advice I could give to a bride-to-be is get rid of your expectations of perfect. Expect that things will go wrong and choose to have a positive perspective on it. Embrace the imperfections, the little things that go wrong that with the right attitude you can look back and laugh on or even better laugh at in the moment. I have no regrets from my wedding day and firmly believe this attitude is why. It’s not that everything went absolutely perfect it’s that I didn’t need everything to be perfect to have the perfect day.

Too much pressure is put on a wedding being flawless and it takes away from the most important aspect – getting married to the love of your life! If you are worried about little things not turning out perfectly, you are doing it wrong.

Post # 3
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

amethyst27 :

#1 is make sure you know for SURE the person that is supposed to do your bustle remembers how to do your bustle. That was supposed to be my mom, but she only came to one fitting and blew off the rest and when it came time to do my bustle she said “I don’t remember” and walked off. The girls got it bustled, but it was alllllll wrong. 200 dollars spent on a french bustle down the drain. So make sureeeeeee someone comes to multiple fittings or at least practices the bustle a time or two before the reception.

#2. Make sure your vendors don’t drink. I knew my photographer was having wine and I didn’t really care because I was so busy that day. I didn’t know they had to cut her off at the bar and the next thing we know she’s passed out on the dance floor (after grinding with the groomsmen for a while) and misses our sparkler exit. I’d make a strict no alchohol for vendors rule and stick to it… which should be common sense…. but if your like me… don’t be nice… just say no lol

other than that things are going to go wrong, but those are two you can avoid through my experiences…. hope it helps!!

Post # 4
Member
2222 posts
Buzzing bee

Something will go wrong. Get ready for it.

Bring a sewing kit of somesort just in case

Write down all the photos you want and have it somewhere. My photographer asked three times if we were good and each time I said yes and now I realized I missed some very importatn pictures and I’m upset about it. 🙁

I second:

  • The eating part. We should have gotten food after the wedding when it was just him and I, but that never happened and the next morning I was hungry and ill tempered. It wasn’t pretty.
  • You do need flats. 
Post # 5
Member
5243 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Lola's Trailer Park

Wedding day advice: shit is going to go wrong. Accept it now.

Post # 6
Member
264 posts
Helper bee

All of the above. *Thumbs up*

– Do everything you can as far ahead as possible, because you will start getting burned out the week before. You’ll be stressed out and you’ll have “decision burnout.” People were asking me, “do you want this or that?” and I almost wanted to blow up at them. I DON’T CARE. And this was for a tiny backyard wedding with 35 guests. I thought I had everything planned and taken care of, and I was still sick to my stomach with anxiety for two full days before. 

– Allow extra time for just about everything, at every stage of planning, but especially the day of. I was sitting around for 2 hours before the ceremony with my hair and makeup already done. I have severe ‘lateness’ anxiety so that was the only way I would have scheduled things, but I’ve seen a lot of lateness disasters posted here that brides deeply regret, so just allow extra time. It’s better to sit around sipping mimosas than scrambling for your ceremony.

– For the things you can’t do until a couple of days before, have a backup plan and set time limits for certain things so that you don’t get burned out or end up behind. Example: my bouquet, boutonniers and corsages. I did a trial a month ahead of time and they were easy. The day before, not so much. The available flowers were bigger, probably older (they started wilting way faster) and harder to work with. My trials looked better and part of me wanted to re-do them, but I just went with the same process I did the first time around and stuck with the initial amount of time that I budgeted for them. Don’t get distracted by perfectionism. The flowers looked just fine in my pics.

– Along that same line, accept that the last-minute things are highly prone to error, and don’t get hung up on them. We forgot several things the day-of. That’s the nature of the beast. No one noticed except us. No big deal. 

– I’ll second the EAT advice, though you don’t have to tell me twice, I’m a massive foodie. 😉 Pace yourself with respect to food, alcohol and sun exposure. I enjoyed all three without suffering any concequences the next day. Know thyself. Your wedding day/evening isn’t the time to go nuts on anything you’re not used to. 

Post # 7
Member
290 posts
Helper bee

My number one advice is just go with the flow. Stuff is going to happen. if it could go wrong, it did for me. I was just so ready to be my husbands wife though, I didn’t care. I’ve read so many stories about things happening to brides and how it “ruined their whole wedding” some is understandable, but you control how you react and respond in those situations. Choose not to let it define your wedding day. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
290 posts
Helper bee

mariah811 :  what in the actual heck? How did you handle that situation? Were your pictures still good? Did you ask for any kind of refund for not capturing your exit? 

Post # 9
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

slomotion :  AMEN. 

That is my #1 advice. Accept that something is going to go HORRIBLE wrong and be ready to laugh it off. When you prepare for the worst it makes the little mishaps I see people on here dwelling over seem like funny moments that add color to the day. 

In addition:

Pack one of those “bridal emergency kits” and hand it to a bridesmaid. I only needed one thing out of my HUGE case, but I’m glad I had it and it’s been useful in my daily life to have random emergency things all in one place now. 

Determine that you WILL be done a week ahead of time. If you have DIY shit that still needs doing after that, too bad. Prioritize based on being done 7 days out. Of course there are things that HAVE TO get done within a day or so, but don’t PLAN to be making favors and shit the week leading up to the wedding. There will be enough crap suddenly dropped in your lap. 

Be kind but take no shit. Is some auntie trying to ask about your baby-making plans and pissing you off? Walk away. Annoying drunk cousin trying to make you dance with him? Tell him to get the fuck off you. You are very busy and important that day and people will understand if you say “Oh I’m sorry, they’re calling me over to the bar”… don’t know who they are or why they need you— but the bride is ALWAYS being called somewhere so use it as an excuse. 

Post # 10
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

Hahaha I have already said, I don’t care if you think I’m rude or whatever I WILL BE EATING! just because I have to play host doesn’t mean I won’t be eating sorry

Post # 11
Member
933 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

VictorianChick :  huge ditto on the pictures! We don’t have a single one of me, DH and my daughter without other people in it. The day was such a blur, I don’t even know how I forgot about it, but I’m so bummed.

Post # 12
Member
1222 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

-I thought we were going to eat because we’re skinny fat and big foodies. We were so excited to try all the food we chose and when it came time for dinner our guests were so nice and let us eat, and we had NO appetite. We both took a few bites and got it packed up. It’s all the excitement, we weren’t hungry at all. I’d say to keep eating snacks throughout the day. My bridesmaids were great about it, they kept trying to feed me any chance they got because they didn’t want me to faint lol.

-I also wore my heels all day although I brought flats, my heels are very comfortable so I thought I would be fine. After the reception while walking to get our stuff my feet kept cramping up, it was so painful and I couldn’t walk. At some point of the reception, WEAR FLATS, most likely you’d be wearing heels for 8+ hours. They don’t even need to be fancy, no one will see them if you have a long dress.

-Be extra careful with your veil. I handmade and painted my veil which took hours to do, and right before the ceremony, it ripped. No one noticed but I do have one photo where its seen, I’ll have to use my photoshop skills to work. Just be extra delicate with all your fragile things.

-Get someone you REALLY trust and who has a history of being reliable to distribute envelopes to vendors. My husband asked one of his groomsmen after debating between him and my dad. The groomsman forgot to pay everyone (out of excitement and nervousness, we get it) but it made part of the day pretty frustrating when he wouldn’t answer his phone and we had to pay the officiant before she left.

-Go look at lists for wedding emergency kits and get all of them. It’s better to be over prepared. I got the little minimergency kits for me, my bridesmaids and my husband. They actually came in handy several times throughout the day. Also bring extra phone changers, hair spray, toothbrush/tooth paste, extra lipstick in your shade, oil blotters.

-If your people are like my people, everyone will want to take shots with the bride and groom. Don’t take the whole shot! We would drink a third or half of each shot because we wanted to remember that night and not get drunk haha.

-It’s ok if things go awkward or wrong. It took forever to put on my husband’s ring, he has skinny fingers/big knuckles, but it turned into a funny moment, and friends afterwards told us that the ceremony was so “us” funny awkwardness and all.

Post # 13
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

My advice would be to soak it all in, it flies by. Have a hashtag to see photos your guest take and post on social media. It took our pro photos a few weeks to come so seeing the guests photos were great. We couldn’t afford a video guy so my brother in law and a friend taped me walking down the aisle, our vows and our exit on their phones. They shared them with us so we had video. Was it perfect, no but it was video…

I also echo the flat, I had heels for wedding, wedges for first few dances then sandals for rest of the night. I changed to wedges when i bustled my dress and my sandals were at my chair at the reception. The tablecloth covered them.

I also did some finger massage on my hand when I saw my ring finger was swelling a bit…didn’t want ring issues…my sister googled a way to reduce the swelling and it worked.

Post # 14
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

My best advice is: 

1.) It’s the marriage that matters, not the wedding. This one mantra is something you should repeat to yourself whenever you feel like things are going wrong.

2.) Do what makes YOU happy as a couple. We eloped and had a blast. A few people had negative remarks and suggested we didn’t “respect our elders” but we firmly believe we made the best choice for us and loved every moment of our big day.

3.) Don’t let the negativity of others bring you down. They have the choice to be shitty just like you have a choice to let their shittiness get to you. 

4.) F*** trends/etiquette. Wear whatever the F you want. If your jewelry doesn’t match? Big deal. If your shoes are tacky? Who cares. There are WAY more important things to worry about. I literally wore fluffy Ugg sandals for the majority of my wedding day and I wore a mix of yellow gold, white gold, and sterling silver jewelry – and you know what? I felt beautiful and my husband thought I was stunning. 

5.) Take time to have fun. The more you stress, the less fun the day is and the more time you spend sweating the small stuff. The day goes by fast so take time to slow down and enjoy every moment.

6.) Things WILL go wrong, but you have a choice of how you react. My flowers were NOT what I wanted at all, but instead of getting angry, I said they were beautiful and continued on with my day. I was stung by a bee literally right next to my engagement ring while taking photos, so I took a non drowsy Benadryl and moved on (side note, pack a small medical bag).  

Life is short. Enjoy your big day and focus on the positive!! ❤️

Edited to add: my only regret was that I forgot to put on tinted chapstick throughout the day. My lips got SO dry and the lipstick I had on wore off and cracked. I’m sure I’m the only one that noticed, and it wasn’t that I forgot to pack it – I just forgot to apply it. 

Post # 15
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

1. Give someone you trust (MOH, mom, etc.) your phone the morning of the wedding and don’t think about it anymore!

2. Eat!!! 

3. Enjoy the quality time you have with your new wife or husband – when you go off and take pictures together, first look (if you’re doing one), first dance, time sitting at the sweetheart table (again if you have one). You’ll be so busy greeting and talking to others it’s important to savor the little moments between the two of you on your wedding day!

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