(Closed) Wedding day dilema

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

If your brother says he can do it, I’d let him. 

Post # 4
Member
9143 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Is there any way it could blow over in two months?  I would remain Sweden and address it closer to the day.  Maybe have someone else announce the bridal party so he doesn’t have to?  Other than that I would assume they will act like adults and avoid any confrontations on the day.  Stay Sweden and stay strong.

Post # 5
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Ohhh, poor thing.  What a crummy situation.  But, I think it is very respectful for both your brother and sis-in-law to put aside their differences for one day, a very important day for you and FI.  I would keep things as is unless they come forward that they can’t do it.  But really, I think this is a selfless move on their part to ensure your day is how you want it and special.  Kuddos to them.

Post # 6
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

If he still wants to do it let him. Boys can put on shows and tuck away emotions when necessary. Im sure the last thing he would want it to know his marriage is falling apart and then to have the burden of everyone whispering at the wedding that your MOH couldnt be there because of him blah blah. It will look a lot more classy on everyones end if she stays as MOH and things carry on as normal. Last thing you want at your wedding is everyone gossiping about the drama of her not being there…. and i hve to agree with PP its very great of them to be willing to put all aside for you on your big day!

Post # 7
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I vote for addressing it closer to the day. He’s your brother and he knows how much this day means to you, if he’s man enough to say he’s willing to suck it up, I’d let him. 

Post # 9
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think you need to take your brother at his word. Its going to be uncomfortable unless they manage to fix things. It’s so unfortunate that this happened at all, let alone so soon before your wedding.

Post # 11
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

The way I see it your brother is doing the mature thing and putting aside his personal feelings for you SIL for the sake of you and your future hubby’s day! ….wish my MIL did the same thing for our wedding towards her ex huband >.<

Post # 12
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Honestly if they’re divorcing I would ask her to step down, family first! If they’re just in a rough patch I would make sure they don’t bring a date, you never know if a wedding could bring them together.

Post # 13
Member
7796 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you seriously need to consider asking your MOH to step down and attend as a regular guest. (Allowing her to leave quietly if it gets too tense). Do you think MOH will stay your best friend in the future? If she’s no longer your SIL, do you want her in your wedding photos for the rest of your life? I guess it happens sometimes, but far more common in my experience is to lose contact with family’s exes.

If MOH is possibly dealing with divorce (or best case, rescuing her marriage), helping prepare for your wedding might be the last thing she wants to do. Also MOH needs to deal not only with your brother but your other family members.  Talk to her. How does SHE feel about staying MOH? At the very least, let her step down if she wants to.

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