Post # 1
OK, this is one of my real concerns about my wedding. I’m 6 months out and the thing I am most worried about is being disappointed on my actual wedding day.
I would like to know (honestly) how many brides experience this?
And this can be disappointment about anything, but my concern is about everything “coming together.” It’s all well and good to try to match things in your head, but until the day of when everything is set up, how do you know for sure it’ll look amazing.
I’ve actually taken myself off watching wedding shows, because I know that my wedding isn’t going to be as gorgous as those done by the pros.
Any tips for keep realistic expectations?
Post # 3
Everything was great as far as decorations, food, DJ, etc. It all came together very well & I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
My disappointments came from other people (MIL, DOC, etc.)
Post # 4
@CaraMia10: I totally agree. The main disappointments were with some of the people, but htose were easy to get over. The overall day was perfect and everything came together just the way I envisioned!
Post # 5
My only disappointment was that no one from my dad’s side of the family showed up, including my only living grandparent, even though they all RSVPed that they would be attending. It stung and I’m still a little hurt, but I didn’t let it ruin my day.
Post # 6
On the day of, there were definitely things that didn’t live up to my expectations, but I really didn’t care. I was so happy and on such a high that none of it bothered me. Just remember that at the end of the day, you’re married!
Post # 7
I’ll give you my experience since I think everything in the world went wrong with our wedding. We did all of our rentals from one company (including our tents) and they literally didn’t get one thing right. My friends and family kept it a secret from me, although I knew when I walked into our venue that a lot was missing and/or incorrect. Honestly, I noticed. I was mad. I was really p!ssed off when my dinner showed up on the wrong pattern plates with the wrong cutlery. That still makes me angry. I noticed that the white twinkle/Christmas lights DH wanted so badly weren’t up, but I figured it was better not to ask. I noticed I noticed I noticed. But you know what, I was so excited about being with my new husband, being surrounded with so much love, that I just sort of tucked those items into this deep back pocket of my mind on a “take care of this later” list and focussed on the great things around me. All the DIY projects I did looked amazing. Our guests were all smiling. The food was fantastic. My husband was beside me.
About two weeks before the wedding, I started to see how everything would look together. Up until then, I had the same worries you do. Just trust your gut. Take photos of projects as you do them, and when you feel concerned, tack the photos up on a corkboard or something so you can see how they unify together.
I wouldn’t say that the things that went wrong ruined my day, but it does make me upset that those things could have been avoided. It was totally out of my control. Now it’s under my lawyer’s control 🙂 And for the record, the things that I did have control over looked fabulous, so just trust yourself and don’t sweat the other stuff!
Post # 8
hey date twin!!! I’m concerned about the same things. I just hope that everything I have planned comes together well. I hope that it doesn’t look mismatched. What all do you still need to get done? I have a lot of accessories that I still need to buy but other than that, pretty much everything else is covered.
Post # 9
I had a few disappointments. The DJ wasn’t exactly what I had hoped for, our church organist was sick that morning and they had to get a replacement (I didn’t notice the difference though), and we had some friends that had RSVP’d and no-showed which made me furious. I couldn’t believe that friends would do that to us.
One thing that was kind of distracting was that we were supposed to take pictures outside of the venue which is on a lake. Well – the day was SO nice, that all of the guests were milling around outside instead of going inside. This led to a lot of talking and seeing tons of people. Don’t get me wrong – the day was GORGEOUS and everyone seemed like they were having a great time. But, it kind of distracted us from taking some nice formal pictures, and my pro pics reflected that – kinda wish i had more. But, that’s just more of an “oh well” kind of thing. My biggest disappointment was our few friends not showing up.
Post # 10
Expectation management is key. If your only expectations are that you will actually get married that day then you won’t be disappointed. Don’t spend a lot of $ on things that could get terribly messed up like decor and entertainment.
Post # 11
As others have mentioned, some of my disappointments were due to other people, but also from from my inexplicable inability to really feel present (it was all so overwhelming!), but all of our decor/stationary/foods/etc all came together beautifully. Don’t worry — it will come together much better than you might think. It you’ve put this much forethought into it, I’m sure it will all tie in perfectly.
Post # 12
Honestly, there were some things that didn’t go as planned, but as someone else said, you are on such a HIGH that day that it doesn’t even matter. I think it’s important to have realistic expectations and realize that there will inevitably be a few things that will go wrong. Accept it, embrace it, and move on. I was nervous like you before my wedding, but calmed down the week of the wedding. On my actual wedding day I literally didn’t care at all. I knew I had done all the planning I could, and I woke up excited knowing that no matter what went wrong, I was getting married that day! I’m so glad I had that attitude, as it made the day wonderful! Had I been worrying about everything that didn’t go as planned, I wouldn’t have had such a wonderful wedding day.
Post # 13
I had one MAJOR disappointment – it rained (and when I say rained I mean torrential downpour) on my wedding day which was supposed to be in a beautiful park setting.
We had a back-up plan of doing it in the hotel banquet hall but I am still disappointed that I didn’t get my beautiful outdoor wedding.
I didn’t really let it bother me on the day of because I was so ridiculously happy. I was surrounded by all the people I love and I was marrying my best friend.
After that the little things that went wrong didn’t even phase me:
- they played the wrong first dance song
- my cake melted and looked hideous
- my bustle broke and I had to carry around my 5 foot train all night
Honestly NONE of these things mattered to me on my wedding day – whenever somebody mentioned that they were sorry about the rain I just said “Eh Shit Happens” and carried on.
I think if you are not expecting perfection you won’t be disappointed to the point of it ruining your day!
Post # 14
As PP have said, attitude is everything.
I mean, yes, it’s one thing if (heavens forbid) you are attacked by a rabid dog as you walk down the aisle, but you know, I’m of the belief that you sort of make your own disappointment. The truth is, at 98% of weddings, something unexpected will happen. That’s just how life is. But once it happens, it’s your choice whether to dwell on it or not.
Post # 15
I had minor disappointments. The decor was NOTHING like I had imagined it (except the flowers which were gorgeous) and i was pretty pissed because I had specifically told my MIL I hated tulle and then she used tulle for EVERYTHING. I didnt care so much on the day of because I was just so happy and everything felt wonderful. But looking at pictures is still hard (but getting better) because it was not what I had envisioned over the 11 months of planning day and night! However, things will be fine.
Post # 16
At the beginning, it sort of ruined my day and what I remember (all I can think of is the negative, because most of it was) but over time, I’ve sort of gotten over some things but not others (the stuff MIL pulled and how she acted).