- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
(not a bride to be but i have suggestions).... remember to take a beauty kit with you for your engagement shots that includes lotion, a make up touch up kit, nail polish that matches the shade that you're wearing, gloves, crackers, and bottle water. if it's gold you may also want to throw in the hand warmer kits..
I would have done a lot more research on photographers, and not chosen the one I did (a friend of a friend, and she was HORRIBLE). I would have been more "in the day". I was so panicked and stressed and then the actual wedding went by so fast, I barely remember any of it. I would have bought comfy shoes to change into halfway through the reception. I would have EATEN something that day!! I kept forgetting to eat and was totally drained from it. If I had my exact same wedding, I would have changed the food. I had a dessert buffet to cut costs. I would have saved up more for an actual caterer. If I didn't have my exact same wedding, I would have gone with my original barn wedding plan (couldn't find a dang barn!).
Oh, heh, and I would have... gotten it on with my husband that night. We made the mistake of coming home (no hotel for us) and changing, eating, and going through cards and gifts. Big mistake! We were both so tired that once we sat still, we passed out. I wish we had made that the FIRST thing we did.
I would have taken more time to see if someone could reconstruct my bustle. Actually, I wish I'd gone upstairs, taken off my dress, done it myself, and then come back down to party. When my bustle ripped out my sister (MOH) got worried that she didn't know exactly the right points to reattach it. I didn't care, I just wanted it up and fixed quickly. Looking at the few pictures where the bustle was still in, I'm sad that it didn't hold up the rest of the night. And on that note: bring velcro dots!
Oh, and we ate rather than visiting each table. I am so glad we ate, but at the same time, there are a ton of people I didn't even see! I'd try to find a happy medium.
we didn't hire a videographer but had budget allowed I wish we would have. HOWEVER, even if budget doesn't allow for a professional, get Uncle Joe with his handheld camera to record the vows and speeches. We have a picture of me busting a gut laughing during our ceremony and no one can remember what was said to make me laugh like that! Similarly, I remember how I felt during the speeches and some snippets of them but not the whole thing. :)
Wow... loaded question
we saved the gifts for after the honeymoon
Honestly, I wouldn't have changed a single thing. Our day was perfect!
I would highly, highly suggest having a day-of coordinator. We had one, and she made all the difference in the world. I was not stressed at all!
Things I would have done differently:
1. Interviewed more florists. I hired the first one we looked at, and I didn't hate them in the end, but I wasn't happy with the results. I felt like I could have gone to someone else with our money and gotten a lot more.
2. Gotten that bang trim a week before the wedding. I flip-flopped before we left for the wedding and in the end, out of laziness, decided my bangs were fine. Nope! It had been a while since my last trim, and it showed in the pictures. I wasn't happy about that, but I'm dealing, haha.
3. I wish I hadn't gotten myself so sick the day of our wedding. I'm the kind of person that will get stomach aches when I'm overly emotional, be it good or bad. I had every reason to be super relaxed the morning of the wedding, and I wasn't, and I should have asked my doctor about some sort of "calming" med or something for anxiety. I didn't enjoy the morning of our wedding at all, and I'm kicking myself for it because it was one of the parts I was most looking forward to. I felt so excited and nervous all day that I didn't eat, even at our reception. I'm still kicking myself for it.
Things I'm glad we did that we were so sure about before:
1. Our DOC. Hands down, best decision we made.
2. Splurged on our dream photographer. Worth every penny.
3. Rented Chivari chairs for our reception room. It totally transformed the joint ... worth the cost!
4. My short knee-length dress. I'm not a gown girl. They looked goofy on me. Before the wedding, I wondered if I would regret not going with a gown because I would never have the chance to wear one again. Nope! My dress was perfect, and most importantly, comfortable. It was totally me, and I felt like me all day.
5. Having a small wedding. We invited 100 people, and 75 came. It was perfect. We saw everyone and it wasn't an overwhelming crowd.
i really was very satisfied.. but minor things i'd change would be to look at my hairdo from 2 directions (one side looked naked without a flower or something, while the other side ROCKED), and try to be aware of the camera a little more for pre-wedding shots. Some make me look crazy, but that's not our photographer's fault! Oh, and not gotten massage oil in my hair, looked greasy but the massage was worth it, ha.
I would have not let my mother stress me out as much as she did. Don't let anyone stress you out on your day. Enjoy it. Everyone is there to celebrate you, and you should be happy!!
I would have interviewed more vendors until I was throwing up vendors. I looked online at a million but I booked the first photographer, caterer, officiant and DJ I met with. I was not satisfied with the photographer and caterer AT ALL.
Don't have a very small wedding. I thought I wanted a small wedding and I ended up with 40 people - it was horrible because it was so small. Have at least 60 people, I think.
Make sure you eat dinner and cake! Have a receiving line so you can greet everyone but yet still eat dinner.
Tell the DJ to tell your guests that they don't have to stand for the dances. My guests looked pained and I don't see any reason why they need to stand for the father/daughter and mother/son dances.
Do not get your dress hemmed with your slip on and then decide you don't need to wear a slip. Bad idea. I was tripping over my skirt all the time.
Be sure to get artistic photos of just you and of you and your husband. I have formal pics and the wedding/reception shots but very few unique, artistic ones. Go on theknot.com and look at people's bios for some inspiration or ask your photographers.
I would have asked someone to videotape the ceremony since it wasn't in our budget to have a videographer.
Be cognizant of where your photographer is and smile, smile, smile. I ruined some great shots by looking in the wrong direction.
But, on the other hand, it is your day and you should enjoy it. It goes by super, super, super fast and I barely remembered anything from the day till I saw my photographer's pictures.
Get lost in what you're doing. Focus on your husband, focus on your father (during the dances). The pictures will reflect a dreamy bride. :-)
Make sure your husband is comfortable dancing. Literally practice - put your chosen song on and practice.
Make sure your DJ has all your music and double, no, triple check any music you have given him is working. He didn't have my husband's song with his mother so we had to pick a stereotypical one at the last moment. No one cared but me. I was devasted though because I had actually picked the song.
Make sure all the bouts are on straight. Your FMIL will probably want to put on her son's bout so don't have a GM or a BM do it.
Designate someone to help you pee.
Designate someone to keep people away from you that stress you out. FMIL? Uncle Steve?
Make sure to take pics with your BP. You and the girls alone, he and the girls alone, you with the guys, him with the guys, you and him with the girls, you and him with the guys, and all of you. Do the kissing shot with you and the girls, them pretending to air kiss you. Gorgeous pic. You and MOH alone, him and BM alone. These two can be great artistic shots.
Good luck and enjoy!
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">For my daughter's wedding last June~
I would have hired a DOC to take over instead of depending on the wedding planner provided by the venue. She was a condescending 'know it all' throughout the planning,and it turns out was someone who didn't know much at all. I wouldn't have had to spend the entire day before and morning of,going through everything and making sure it was all set up,chair sashes straight,etc.....I was exhausted by the time it was wedding time!
I would have set up a morning after breakfast/brunch,but instead let everyone talk me out of it. We had about 35 people staying at the hotel and I felt awful when they came downstairs that we didn't have anything for them. I won't make that mistake twice! Its already set up for my other daughter's wedding in May.
OOT bags were really a hit and everyone mentioned them!
Candy buffet was also a hit,as no one had ever seen one at a wedding before. My SIL was dead set against it as he thought it was stupid,but my daughter wanted it so she & I got everything and surprised him. When he saw how much people loved it and told him about it,he was really excited. Couldn't thank me enough for doing it!
Would have planned dinner service better. I had to go to the kitchen and request they bring the entrees. Too much time between courses.
These are just things that are MY opinion. My daughter & SIL said everything was perfect!
I would have sticked to my guns and been more vocal about my wants. I tried really hard not to stress, and to be laid back. But there were a few battles I decided to cave on which I very much regret. Plus our venue mucked up agood number of the smaller details that were importnat to me - I would have been more on top of them for that.
I have to say that I loved my wedding and that really the only thing that I would have changed was to elope instead of having a full out wedding. It wasn't because of the bridal stress, or anything about the wedding in general. I would elope so that I can use the money that my hubs and I saved up to go towards a house instead. It doesn't mean that we can't buy a house now, which we will with the generous monetary gifts that we received at the wedding but it would be nice to have a place of our own by now before the baby arrived. It's what I have always wanted. No biggie though, plans change. Our goal is sometime next year though.
Two things, both minor - I would have moved the raspberry filling in the middle tier of the wedding cake to the bottom so that I could have gotten more than a bite and I would have sent the photographer into the venue a little earlier. Nothing earth shattering, and even if they had been there, I don't think they could have made the day any better!
I had a pretty good timeline for our wedding photos, but all my girls wanted to get ready in their own hotel rooms. Since everyone was scattered around the town, it was hard to get everyone to the ceremony site on time and it pushed our photo timeline back. As a result I wasn't able to get any of the fun wedding party photos that I wanted, we have a few of everyone lined up, but I had wanted more.
So my suggestion would be to make sure everyone understands their timeline for photos and when the need to be there.
The day overall was perfect, but there were just a few tiny things I would change. I would have demanded a mockup of my centerpieces and bouquets. My florist said this wasn't necessary, it wasn't a normal service she provided but she would do it for an extra $300. To save some money, I opted out of that and trusted her. MISTAKE! Both the BM bouquets and centerpieces were not what I wanted, too small, and pretty cheap-looking considering what we were charged. As we previewed the room, I immediately focused on the centerpieces. As I gasped, my husband said, there is nothing we can do, let's just have fun. Thankfully, I was able to let it go and enjoy the rest of the night. I don't know how I did that becauseI tend to get upset over the little things...I think I was just SO happy it was our wedding day.
I wouldn't have worried so much about getting my dress and veil dirty. It rained that morning and almost all of my outdoor pics are with me holding my beautiful, hand-made cathedral length veil over my arm. I only have 1 shot of it in it's entire beauty!! Also, I would have had the photographer take more shots of just me (does that sound selfish!?) I don't have a single full-length portrait of me, in my gown, full veil, and flowers...most are candids or close-ups (chest and above.)
The major regret I have is that I didn't dance with my grandfather. I had planned on this, but the band played "our" song on during dinner, while he was eating and we were making our rounds saying hello to everyone. I should have grabbed him and pulled him onto the dance floor, but I just didn't and I'm kicking myself for it.
Can I just say thank you to everyone who is sharing? It is good to get your advice, and to just get some prespective. Something will go wrong, it seems, but you are all still married and happy, right?(!?) 
good advice guys!!! now, i'm fully convinced that i should spend that extra cash for a videographer :)
I would have spent more on photography and hired a more experienced photographer. I should have had only one bridesmaid since the three I had did little more than show up. I wouldn't have purchased as much food because there are always no-shows or folks that cut out early. And I would NEVER have ordered a custom-made replica from a business that sounded and looked great on their web site but had a F BBB rating. I wasted hundreds of dollars on a dress I ended up donating to Salvation Army. Luckily I found a more suitable dress. And I definitely would have gotten some sort of shapewear to hid my back fat!
I would have had some one complain to the venue about having dinner started sooner. My venue ended up having another event earlier in the day and our set up wasn't ready "on time". our cocktail 1/2 hour dragged on over an hour while they rushed to get everything set. a VERY minor issue in the grand scheme.
I think they best thing to remember is things WILL go wrong. Don't stress and enjoy the day.
Well, I kinda wish I didn't drive all the way out to Jersey City and gotten lost to buy that $140 manzanita tree that no one even realized was there and I have no idea where it is now, lol.
That's about it really. The day was perfect.
I wouldn't change much, but if I did it again, I would...wear sunscreen to the rehearsal...put my veil on TOP of my hair rather than underneath (it fell out twice before we finally just put it on top)...made sure to buy a bottle of wine that would fit into the box my dad slaved over...tell the friends who put the chair covers on to make sure the chairs at the signing table got covers as well...gotten more photos with friends during the reception...taken 1 minute to myself after getting dressed to look in the mirror (I didn't see my reflection until halfway through the reception)...and most importantly nagged DH to get the reception playlist done earlier than the night before so I'd know it was dance-able!
But the vast, vast majority of things we did, I would do again in a heartbeat. It was a wonderful day but hopefully my tips can help someone else (especially those doing an ipod reception!!!)
Eat! I spent hours interviewing caterers and then selecting a menu, tastings galore. And on the night of, did I eat? No. And half way into a 5 hour reception after my fair share of talking, and dancing and ....drinking.... I came very close to having a full blown migraine! The funniest memory I have of my husband and I after the wedding was once we had made our Get-away. We were in the car and he looks over at me and doesn't say You look Beautiful, or That was the best night of my Life! but...Are you Hungry? To which I gasped, Yeeesss! Can we get Wendy's? and sure enough we went through the drive thru at Wendy's and that was our Wedding night meal!
If there was anything you wish you could do-over or wish you hadn't done for your wedding (ceremony, reception, pre-parties, post-tasks, planning, ANYTHING), what is it?Why do you wish you could do it over? And what would you do?
I would have chosen a different DJ and florist. The DJ was not playing her A game or B game- she caused a lot of stress and there were many mistakes. The florist was hard to get in contact with and I also feel we did not get our moneys worth. TRUST YOUR GUT!!!!!!!!!!
I haven't decided if I regret not having a videographer. It would be nice to see and it would show DH how his mom acts but being the AW she was she would have been right in front of the camera the entire time. I have mental pictures of how she was, why do I need a video of it??
MIL also screwed up our rehearsal dinner with her antics...if I could go back in time I would have continued with what we were going to do in the first place and try to have fun rather than letting her ruin it for us.
I would have given clearer directions. Our cake and the topper ended up being trashed because DH said any food that could be left over could probably be thrown away. To me cake and food are different but not to those cleaning up. Don't assume on anything.
I wish I would have hired a DOC to take care of things. Since my DJ didn't show up, he/she could have taken care of that, instead of me and the hubs scrambling around trying to do it. Also, he/she wouldn't have forgotten to bring the programs to church, like I did. On the DJ issue, I wish I would have done more research, but this is one of the first things we booked, the price was right, we were happy, newly engaged, etc. In the end we got screwed. If I would have looked on BB's website, I would have kept looking and found a DJ that would have actually showed up on time.
I also wish I would have remembered to give the list of must have pictures to the photographer. We didn't get any pictures with the hubs grandparents or any extended family. I feel super bad about this because during dinner one of his grandma's came up to ask if we were going to do pictures with the grandparents and I said yes, and I then forgot to relay that to the photog's who would have remembered for me.
I wish I would have started my DIY projects sooner, partially not my fault, we had a 6 month engagement and during that period we moved from Ohio to Chicago, lived in temporary housing for 3 weeks, bought a condo and started new jobs, we were super busy throughout the entire engagement. I don't wish our engagement was longer, neither of us wanted a long engagement, but I do wish less stuff happened between getting engaged and the wedding. It was extremely stressful planning a wedding in Ohio and living in Chicago. We had no free weekends, we were always going back to Ohio for something.
But other than that I really enjoyed the engagement and the wedding. We had a blast at the reception, and while I didn't get to see everyone I wanted to during the reception, I did try to see most of them.
ETA: The best part of my wedding day was getting a massage from one of my BM's (she's a massage therapist and brought her chair to the church)!
Before I got my pro photos back, I would have said not a thing! But now, I wish I had spent way more time researching photographers to get one that was right for us and for our wedding. But we lucked out and got some great pics from our guests, so I guess I would say, make sure other people are taking pics at your wedding - even if it's just for fun. It's so great after the fact to really see everyone else's perspective of your wedding (and if your pro doesn't work out, you'll still have pics!).
I have to disagree with simmonsgirl1 (no offense though!) - I only had 30 guests and it was a blast! Granted it was a destination wedding, so maybe that changes things, but I never felt like there were too few people there and at one point I think all 30 people were on the dance floor at the same time.
This thread is great and has caused me to make several lists (ie, what needs to come home with us from the venue) and check out vendors with the BBB. Thanks for sharing and keep 'em coming!
Hiring a DOC was THE BEST decision I ever made. It took so much pressure off on the day of the wedding. If it is in your budget, I highly recommend it!
Also, we did not have a videographer. Luckily, one of our groomsmen was a porfessional videographer and made one for us. I didn't think I wanted a video, but l'm so glad it worked out that way! If I had to do it again, I would have budgeted for one!
This are things that I knew before, but still couldn't change:
-Sleep the few nights before. I was too pumped to sleep. (I even tried to take benadryl, I was just too excited. Maybe if you have a prescription for xanax or some benzo, take a low dose the night before)
-Eat. (I really tried, but once again was too distracted and happy. I was famished by the end of the night).
-And a bit of TMI: in regards to getting action on the wedding night: we had to get creative. No laying on the bed (we would have fallen asleep and missed the after party)
Thank you ladies SOOO MUCH!!! Am definitely researching DOCs...FI finally agreed after reading our thread here. Thank you!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 94 |
| ndreighton | 81 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 56 |
| beargoose | 55 |
| Mrs.KMM | 46 |
| akp0702 | 42 |
| BetterSherm | 42 |
| MrsBlueSeptember | 41 |
| MrsPom | 37 |
| Beckster329 | 37 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| stardustintheeyes | 20 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 13 |
| Mrsgurzakovic | 11 |
| Beckster329 | 11 |
| BetterSherm | 10 |
| beargoose | 9 |
| MissBoPeep | 8 |
| PookyShoes | 8 |
| peachacid | 8 |
| Mrs.KMM | 7 |
Hey there Newlywed Bees!
As a bride-to-be, I was hoping you ladies might be willing to share some advice by answering: If there was anything you wish you could do-over or wish you hadn't done for your wedding (ceremony, reception, pre-parties, post-tasks, planning, ANYTHING), what is it? Why do you wish you could do it over? And what would you do?
Thanks for sharing & helping all us brides-to-be!