Wedding Day Fears???

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@realtreegal:  It’s definitely understandable to have some anxiety about any major event. I know firtshand because I’ve always been prone to worrying I was worried that I would get super nervous while walking down the aisle and standing in front of everyone, and I was worried that nobody would dance, and that DH would put cake in my face. Well I ended up being fine walking down the aisle and standing up in front of everyone. Most of the guests ended up on the dance floor at some point (thanks tp old school hip hop and line dances!), and DH didn’t smash cake on me! Lol, all my worries were pointless because not only did they not come true, but even if they had what could I have done to change that fact? It doesn’t do you any good to get too worked up over what ifs especially if they’re out of your control. 

The thing about planning any event is that once the ball is rolling on that day you just have to trust it will all work out well. And for most people thankfully it does. Talk to your FI about your day of timeline so you can incorporate some sexy time after the day’s events. And limit the alcohol if you must. Do all you can on the front end to make sure the day goes smoothly and then trust that it’ll all work out!

Post # 4
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I suggest asking a capable friend or two to be in charge of handling things that go wrong. When my alcohol didn’t show up, I didn’t have to bat an eye because I knew my best friend was on the phone telling them to hurry the f up. When my caterer was freaking out about the placement of the napkins, one of my other friends straight up told him that if he bothered me about dumb shit like napkins, she’d punch him in the face. BOOM. I didn’t have to spend an ounce of attention on napkins. 

Post # 8
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If you can limit the drinks to beer and wine, no hard liquor, that’ll help with drunkenness. You can always tell your guests the venue made you do it ( a lot of venues here have that rule). You can also have a friend or dj make a ‘last call’ 45 minutes before the end, which also helps guests sober up. If you do have liquor make sure the bartender understands under no circumstance is he to pour shots, he can also claim venue rules.

 

My biggest worry right now is the weather…it totally could be rainy or foggy or burning or freezing lol. I won’t know til a week before how to handle it all!

Post # 9
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@realtreegal:  re point 1 (first look) – I put this into the same category as proposals, for a couple of reasons. First, it’s entirely up to your man and you can’t really control it. And second, you can get your hopes WAY too high by looking at films and the internet, because generally you only see the good ones. So my advice is: don’t overthink it, and don’t look at other people’s ones too much. If he reacts great, wonderful. If he doesn’t, who cares, it’s just one moment and you’re still marrying your man.

Point 2 (drinking) – the bigger problem sounds to me like your FI can’t control his drinking. He’s not a child, you can’t parent him. If FI has a drinking problem then he has to address it (with your help and encouragement).

Point 3: we deliberately started dinner early (about 6) to be sure the evening wouldn’t end too late 🙂

Post # 12
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It’s a legitimate fear definitely, my fiance can put down quite a few beers…how long is your reception?  I think once people put food in their bellies, it’ll help keep people from getting as intoxicated.  Another way to curtail drinking is to have the bar be a cash bar after dinner, but you may be against this if you want to cover the costs for your guests.

I went to a wedding this past weekend where there was an open bar and they made a last call one hour before closing…no one made a fuss about it because a lot of people had to drive two hours home.  I think you’ll be ok if you close it after dinner (just let your guests know).  

We are thinking about having a coffee/tea bar with our cake/desserts after dinner, that might keep the grumpy guests from complaining! 

 

Side note, I actually get the Asian flush when I drink….so to keep guests from worrying about me (if they don’t know about it), I’m actually just going to have sparkling cider haha on my big day.  Hopefully no one will notice =P

Post # 13
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

 

@realtreegal:  I was worried about my husband getting to drunk as well.  He assured me that he wouldn’t because he to wanted to remember that day for the rest of his life.  We just got married on Sat and he had a bunch to drink but nothing excessive which I was happy about.  I too wanted to have “fun” on our wedding night.  I knew his groomsment would want to stay up way past the end of the party.  I had my husband take me back to our cabin (we rented out a campground) to help me take of my dress and promised we would then go back and have a few more drinks.  It was the best of both worlds for both of us! 🙂

Post # 14
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Those were my same fears, except for the sex one. LOL.

Post # 16
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@realtreegal:  we had our bartenders know not to overpour.  We did that because we paid for all the liquor, beer, and wine. I didnt want people getting to drunk to quickly especially when it is free all night.  So I made sure the bartenders were aware of that. They even had to cut off one of our ushers.  We were bartenders back in the day and its their job to keep people in line and know when is enough.  Have a talk with your bartenders or hall before your big day.  🙂  Good luck!

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