(Closed) Wedding details not worth the money?

posted 4 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
6365 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m still planning, but this is really going to come down to a personal preference issue, as after the cost of the marriage certificate, the rest of the money is spent on “wants,” not needs.

Here are some of the things money won’t be spent on for my wedding: special bridemaids’ dresses, special groomsmans’ suits, new shoes bought specifically for me to wear under my gown, something bought for no other reason than the fact that it’s blue, bridal themed sweatwear, bridal themed lingerie, wedding favors, wedding favor cards, save the date cards, engagement photos, boudoir photos, morning after photos, bride’s and groom’s gifts, videographer, photo booth, candy buffet, monogram decorations, personalized hanger, groom’s cake, bridal purse, and so, so, so much more.

Here are some things money WILL be spent on for my wedding: A nice bridal gown made out of natural materials. A nice bespoke suit for the groom. Simple but nice fresh flowers. Fresh, varied, and high quality food for all guests. Plus ones extended to all guests over 16 whose named preferred accompaniment I do not 100% know. An officiant. A venue. Some music. Photographer and the ownership rights to the photos themselves. Wedding rings and engagement rings for bride and groom. I’m sure there’s a bit more, but that covers a lot of it.

Post # 4
Member
1878 posts
Buzzing bee

@raziel1687:  For my sister’s wedding, my family spent money on a big moon display/ photo booth area for people to take photos at, and most people didn’t pay much attention to it.  It felt very much like lining up to take photos with the backdrop display at prom. Things like that can be a waste of time and money. 

Post # 5
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2016

It really depends on what kind of details have you referred to,,for these decorations,they can be used again..for Christmas or other special occasions.

Though these stuffs seem a waste of money,but they are the necessaries for wedding ceremony….Cool

Post # 6
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@joya_aspera:  

 

It’s nice that you are offering your guests a +1.  It is certainly the polite thing to do, and I gave my guests the same courtesy. 

 

I have read multiple times on here how others are playing the “judge the relationship” game or simply expecting their guests to travel alone.  And feel completely justified with their actions.  Ugh!  They will give reasons of the size of venue or expenses, but like you have just stated, cut out the unnecessary and treat your guests right.  I mention these suggestions but alas, it falls on deaf ears.

 

Post # 7
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We’re not getting married til this fall, but there were a LOT of things that we deemed to not be worth the money:

Limos or other fancy transportation.  Especially since our ceremony and reception are in the same location; but even if they were different, we’d just drive.

Ceremony decorations. Things like aisle runners, arches, special tables, flowers, or anything for our guests to throw, waive or blow at us afterwards.  Our ceremony is outside on the lawn overlooking the mountains, and there will just be the white chairs for the guests to sit on and that’s it.

Designer dress.  I fell innnn loooooovvvee with a $4,000 designer dress. Pouted about it for a week. Moved on and bought a similar dress (which FI found!!!!) for $600.

Favors. I consider our super-bomb food, full top-shelf open bar all night, s’mores bar, and Starbucks coffee stations on both mornings of the weekend… to be “favors.”

Photobooth.  Our photographer will be taking pictures all night.

Bridesmaids & Groomsmen.  Our best friends are going to be at the wedding and will enjoy it all just the same, without them (and us) having to spend money on silly, unneccesary things like special outfits, extra flowers, special pre-wedding parties, etc.

Lots O’ Flowers.  I sort of lucked out with my flower situation, as our venue is providing the flowers for our centerpieces! I hate the ideal of spending hundreds (let alone thousands) of dollars on something that is literally going to DIE the next day. So, my only actual flower expense is my bridal bouquet. 🙂

Over-priced Venues.  There are places that want to charge $1,000 to $3,000 just to be there and occupy the space for 8 hours… which doesn’t cover anything — food, drinks, and everything else is in addition to that.  THAT is not worth it to me.  It took us a LONG TIME, but we found a place which charged a reasonable $500.

Things I consider to be worth the money:  Really good food and open bar (THAT’S what people really care about), good cake, music, photography and the honeymoon.

Post # 8
Member
2694 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think my favor boxes were a waste.  they were pretty but i could have used the celophane bags instead and saved $50. At least i get to use them again. also didnt need the favor tags for the boxes…I could have used the stickers i got from vistaprint and saved some money there too.  I think that was it… i did a lot of diy and saved money on a lot of stuff so i didn’t waste precious dollars since I had a small budget.

things i decided NOT to spend money one: dancing flip flops, bathroom baskets, tears of joy packets, videographer, limo just for bridal party, tons of food to be wasted, expenisive venue, expenisve dress and shoes, super expensive caterer, super pricey photographer… I am sure there is more.

Post # 9
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t regret any details but my one piece of advice would be don’t buy anything that’s just for a cute photo.

Post # 10
Member
2694 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@FutureMrsLAL:  O yes, ceremony decor.  I just thought it was unnecssary at the last minute and ditched the tissue paper poms which weren’t coming out right anyway.  Our ceremony was beautiful, simple and the small lodge was perfect….. no on missed the decor.  i focused on the reception since we would spend more time there anyway. 

Post # 11
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’ve found that centerpieces, expensive flowers, and most favors are just not worth the money. I am going as cheap as possible on these because they are things no one remembers or cares about. 

Post # 12
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MrsN14:  +1. You can find a great deal on a nice dress if you look for it. I would say photography is most important. If I could do it all over again, I would have splurged instead of skimpped on a photographer. Now I don’t have any good pics of me in my dress, any pics of me and my parents together, no pics of DH and our kids, no pics of my mom and I, no pics of his stepmom and me (we are VERY CLOSE), and not that many pics of the WP and us. I mean these are VERY basic pics we missed out on and you can’t repeat your day.

I regret hiring a wedding planner. She was a HUGE waste of money. She did not save us any money.

Get your BM dresses from JCP. They have very pretty dresses for $35… or less!

Do not bother with ceremony decor like an aisle runner. We bought 2 and ended up using neither because they wouldn’t stay.

Last but not least favors, fancy transportation, overpriced venues (If I could do it again, I would have gotten married across the street from our courthouse in a beautiful–and free!– courtyard).

I HAD to have real flowers. I got the wedding flowers from sams club. I couldn’t have been happier with them. I also got a great deal on my photo booth and my guests enjoyed it very much. I haven’t gotten my video back from my videographer yet (I will be picking it up the first wkend of July) so I can’t say if the video was a waste of money or not yet.

The only other thing I would suggest splurging on other than photography is a nice honeymoon.

Post # 13
Member
5068 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m in the very early planning stage, but I already know I’m going to save money on transport, bm dresses, I’m not having bm bouquets. I’m not paying for chair covers. My splurges are our honeymoon and photographer.

Post # 14
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Photobooth (I think it’s been too over done and everyone already has tons of photobooth pictures of themselves at this point) 

guest book (maybe half the guests signed it)

bathroom decor (not the baskets—people used the baskets—we actaully decorated the bathrooms with flowers and covered the doors since my mom didn’t like them)

cocktail hour decor (quotes in frames, candles and flowers on all of the cocktail tables) 

menus on table for seated dinner (not really needed, and took away from the tablescape, IMO) 

 

Post # 15
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

This is so subjective — some things will be very important to one person and not at all important to another.  For us, the key was first determining our budget, and then (once we knew our financial constraints) determining our priorities.  Based on that, we were able to decide where to splurge, where to look for deals, and what to skip altogether. 

For example, we spent the bulk of our budget on food/drink, flowers and photography, which were top priorities for us.  We saved money in other ways, like buying a (fabulous!) gown off the sample rack for a steal and wearing borrowed accessories, making our own favors, and negotiating a (much shorter and cheaper) video package.  And then there were things that we skipped altogether, including bridesmaids and groomsmen, photobooth, limo, and gifts to each other (we exchanged letters instead).

I would suggest trying not to get so caught up in the details that you spend more money than you can afford on something that no one will notice except you and your photographer (and any guests who were just married and therefore notice these things!).  I had several moments where I had to give myself a reality check and say, “nope, not a priority!”  Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
9560 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

The only waste thus far was a paper punch that was cute but now I don’t think will be used. $15 isn’t the end of the world. 

Things I am skipping:

  • Videography
  • Limo/fancy car
  • Photobooth
  • Favors
  • Flowers
  • Ceremony decor

Things I’m doing on the cheap:

  • Flowers – making out of paper
  • Bar – bringing our own liquor and doing signature cocktails during cocktail hour and beer/wine the rest of the night
  • Hors d’eouvres – caterers only doing 2 hot things and DIYing the rest
  • Photographer – found a great deal
  • Makeup – It’ll probably cost me a pretty penny to buy the makeup but it’ll last after the wedding and I’ll learn to put it on properly!
  • Hair – just have to give my cousin a gift for doing it!
  • Ceremony music – another gift for a friend who is playing solo guitar
  • Chairs – I find chiavari chairs horribly uncomfortable, something I wouldn’t want for my guests, so I’m always a bit baffled when people pay extra for these
  • Food – the food we’re having is good and will be plentiful but is not fancy

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