Post # 1
Hi Bees… So I have a situation…
Ever since I got engaged, FI and I planned on an afternoon outdoor and small intimate wedding with our closest friends and family and they money we would save would be going to a new car or down payment for our home…
Well today while talking to some friends, he starts talking about him wanting a bigger wedding and having it in the evening-night with party, DJ, etc… WHAT?! We are 4 months away and he decides to say this now?
I already got my dress which is appropiate for a DAY wedding. It took me weeks to settle down our wedding colors and decor. Looking up hours online for sales and discounts and tips on how to save.
I kept telling him about the saving part and he was all about “we only get to do this once” “its ur/our wedding… we have to have a party and have fun”
Post # 3
Time for the two of you to rehash that discussion and make sure you are on the same page.
Post # 5
@Mrs_O: Yeah… you need to talk.
It’s possible he just got caught up in the moment, was showing off a little to his buddies, and didn’t really think about what this would all entail.
On the bright side, if it’s only four months away then it’ll be really hard to get a DJ and other things (venue etc.) in that timeframe.
I’d just try to keep the discussion light and before you talk to him, come up w. a solid list of reasons why you need to keep the wedding as is. Try to keep cool.
Remind him that the wedding will come and go, but the down payment is more important.
I bet that he didn’t seriously consider changing… you know how guys can be… once they realize what they’ve said they reconsider.
Post # 6
@Mrs_O: What the crap? Has he not known what was going on this whole time? Your already four months out I’d tell him too bad, he should have paid attention. Maybe you can do an afterparty later in the night at one of the bars/clubs.
Post # 7
I have the same dilema with me wanting a big wedding and he wants a small one.
We end up reaching to the agreement about the budget of the wedding and ever since all the arguement will come to the topic but not about “this is once of the lifetime thing”
Whenever we have different opinion on certain things, then we will always refer to the budget. If there is something that we can save, then we can spend it on somewhere else. Otherwise, there aint too much choices, either have the big but not that decent or small but decent.
Post # 8
I would tell him if that’s what he wants, he can organise the whole thing himself because you simply don’t have the time or inclination to do it yourself right now. Maybe once he sees how much effort goes into planning a wedding, he’ll be a little bit more respectful of all the work you’ve done so far!
Post # 9
You two need to have a serious discussion about what you both want and being on the same page. Maybe you have your small intimate afternoon ceremony, followed by a big afterparty at a club nearby? That way you guys get the best of both worlds, and I’m pretty sure it’s okay to make your guests pay for their drinks/food at the after-party, so it cuts down on some costs for you. (Though it would be super cool if you threw a bit of money towards the tab and convert to a cash bar after the money is spent).
Post # 10
This all came up because his 2 best friends that live abroad told him they would like to be with him on this day. At first he said we were thinking of doing something small, but they still wanted to be here for him. Which is Awesome… but now he all worried that they will be wasting money on a trip and we don’t even waste money on a good event…
I talked it over with him and we came to the conclusion that we would see the possibility of having an afternoon-evening wedding (starting at 2 or 3 and ending at 11ish pm).
That way we can get the best of both worlds.
Will keep you bees posted!!
Post # 11
@Mrs_O: Yay! Great to hear you guys talked and are on the same page.
I’m not sure where you’re at location-wise, but just wanted to mention that here in the mid-west, we have “off-season” for weddings, where you can get a ton of discounts on things such as venue, DJ, photographer. For example, we saved $1700 on the renting of our venue alone, b/c of the off-season month we’re getting married in. Hopefully you have that same type of thing in your area and can save big due to the December wedding. 🙂
Post # 12
Yey thats good. If FI had his way would we have had an 11 am wedding and 1pm reception and cake for his grandmother (basically planning to talor a wedding for 100+ people for just one person).
So we are comprimising 1 pm ceremony 3 pm reception and after party so we all get what we want. The cake will now be what everyone will prefer including myself and he can have a groom’s cake with specific to his grandmother’s tastes.
Post # 13
Just wanted to say, 4 months is plenty of time to plan an entire wedding, DJ and all. I did mine in 3 and had lots of choices. 🙂