Post # 1
So my mother has sent out my invites, some people get just invites to the reception and some people (a very limited few) get invites to the ceremony, catered dinner to follow and the reception.
My mother felt like she could not leave out her half brother (who never speaks to us and who we never even see) because she is inviting her other brother and sister to the ceremony and dinner. So we invited him and his wife to everything.
He has 3 children who all of children and spouses (I am also having a VERY small amount of children at my ceremony, seeing as they cry a lot….. ) and my cousin (my uncles daughter) just wrote on my wall ON FACEBOOK of all places asking if they are supposed to RSVP on the card my uncle and aunt have because there is NOT one in the invite that the rest of them recieved!
How do I go about this and not come across like a bitch? I am on a limited budget and cant afford to feed everyone, especially not their kids too! And its on FACEBOOK, so its public now! 🙁 Sorry if this was confusing but I am freaking out!!!!
Post # 3
First, delete his comment from your Facebook wall. Then get in touch with him. Phone call preferably, email would be my next choice. Private FB message as an absolute last resort.
Just explain that unfortunately, you were not able to invite everyone to the wedding. While you would love to invite the entire extended family, you had to narrow down the list because otherwise it would simply be too many people. I would end with a generic “but I would love to get together for lunch sometime.” (But only if you would actually be willing to do that – I don’t like empty invitations; and I personally would meet up with any of my cousins for a casual get together to catch up.)
Post # 4
I’m not trying to sound insensitive, because I know how stressful all this can be. You’ve basically got 2 options, either start letting the uninvited trickle in with other invited guests (ie your cousin’s family with their parents) or you’ll just have to fess up and explain the situation to everyone that asks. Either way, SOMEONE is not going to be “happy” or at best satisfied with the outcome, and that, unfortunately, falls to you and your fiance. It sucks, I know, but there is no easy answer. If you choose to go with the later option, my best advice would be to be totally honest, tell them you can only afford a small wedding/reception and had no choice, but to limit the guest list to IMMEDIATE (VERY immediate) family and friends so close they are like siblings. Hope this helps.
Oh! And as for this cousin, pretty insensitive to post something like that on your FB wall, knowing full well that you may have to tell her she wasn’t invited. Sounds like she was almost wanting to make you look bad if the answer was not “in her favor”. PM her and explain the situation either way and be upfront, telling her, that it won’t be appropriate for her to trash you on FB either way!.
GOOD LUCK! And remember, in the end, it’s all about you and him!
Post # 5
Thanks guys! This was helpful. I deleted her comment and pm’ed her. I am just sucking it up and inviting them….. sucks, but its probably better than the alternate.
Post # 6
Just a heads up – you can change your Facebook settings so you have to approve posts before they go on your wall. I’ll never go back 🙂