Post # 1
Just wondering if its bad luck if the groom sees the wedding dress before the wedding? He has not seen the dress on me but he has seen the dress.
Heres my story: My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting married. He has not yet proposed but I know hes getting ready (He’s already told me that he the proposal planned out) just a matter of time now…
Anyway, my mother never had a wedding dress to hand down to me but as for my boyfriends mom, she gave me her wedding dress! Just pulled it out of her closet, handed it to me and said do you want this, at the time she gave it to me, my boyfriend was in there and he answered the question for me. He said yes, she will take the dress. So my boyfriend has seen the dress before. He has seen it on his mom. Im not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, luck wise. I am always one for saving money and i already know that my future wedding will be on a tight budget so her giving me this dress will help a lot with expenses. All i would have to pay for would be the alterations BUT the more i think about it, the more i want to have the to chance to go find my own wedding dress. I would like to experience weddding dress shopping and finding “the one” and also i think my mom is upset about my boyfriends mom handing her wedding dress down to me.
Im not sure if i want to go with the dress that was given to me and saving money or spending the money on a dress that i picked out and fell in love with. Im just a big ball of confusion right now.
Opinions please 🙂
Post # 3
The seeing-the-dress-before-the-wedding-is-bad-luck is just an idiotic superstition, I wouldn’t worry about it for a second. Mostly, I think brides just like it to be a surprise, there’s no real bad luck involved.
I think it’s a beautiful, generous thing for your Future Mother-In-Law to do, offering to pass down her dress to you. If it fits you and if you like it, there’s no reason not to accept. On the other hand, if it upsets your mom, or if it’s not really a dress you love, those are good reasons to think about not wearing it. You could also (with FMIL’s permission) alter the dress so that it’s a little more your own?
Also, if you’re not actually engaged yet … this is kind of a non-problem, at least for the moment. You don’t need to decide about this any time soon. You can just keep it as one possible option among many, if/when you and your boyfriend end up getting engaged.
Post # 4
One of my friends used her mums wedding dress as the base for hers, so she got the dress of her dreams – but with the sentimental attachment. I guess you won’t feel quite the same about the dress as it’s your FMIL’s, but if you like the fabric and you think it has potential, I would go for it. Also, if you have some major changes done to it, I think it would cancel any potential bad luck associated with your Fiance seeing it. 🙂
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room
I think wedding superstitions mostly nonsense. Your marriage will not have bad luck if he sees the dress, if you don’t follow the “something old, something new” tradition, if you decide you’d rather bunk together the night before, etc. It’s all based on what YOU prefer. My guy has seen the dress I want, but I don’t want him to see me in it beforehand because I want him to be surprised at how I look in it the day of.
My first marriage… I followed every superstition I could possibly follow. I even got Irish sixpence and attached them to the insides of my shoes. I tied a piece of 100 year old lace to my garter from one of my ancestors. My marriage fell apart immediately and no amount of superstition could affect that.
Do whatever makes you comfortable and if something seems silly, don’t be afraid to ask “why?”… it could be something someone made up a hundred years ago just because they could. No use freaking out because they did.
Post # 8
I don’t think that it is bad luck to see the dress, I think the superstition is it is bad luck to see the bride in the dress before the wedding.
Anyway, I am wondering, even though you are trying to save money, would you be willing to spend a little bit of money and make some alterations to the dress. That way you are not spending hundreds of dollars on a dress and it is not exactly the same as when his mother wore it.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I don’t think it’s bad luck (my Fiance has seen mine!), but that is a separate issue from wanting to get your own dress. If you don’t want to wear hers and instead want to get one that is your own, there is no shame in feeling that way.
Post # 10
@ChristineMw: well I don’t think it’s bad luck but I do think you should LOVE the dress not just like it. I’d keep it, when you get engaged try on some other dresses and then decide. You might end up finding something you LOVE in your budget or you might realize this is the dress for you. I wouldn’t make the decision without trying on other dresses first.
Post # 11
@ChristineMw: I am a MOB to be very soon. There are two part to this story. When I got married the first time, my Mother-In-Law said that she would make my dress, it was a copy of her own wedding dress. So, I said yes.
It has only been recently while I have been helping my daughter plan her wedding that I finally realised how upset my mother was. My mum never really said much, except that she would love to buy me my own dress, but I was a scatter brain young woman in those very old days and I just really never thought about how my mother felt. I must say I really loved my mum, and to this day miss her dreadfully since she passed.
On the other hand, I never really gave ‘the dress’ much emphasis so I was happy with the outcome. I just wanted to be married. It was different in those days.
The best way to make the decision is to sit down quietly and write all the advantages and disadvantages of wearing your MIL’s dress or buying a new one.
The most important one is: Looking back over the years, is this the dress you want to see in your photos? Is it your dress or your MIL’s dress?