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Yikes, that really sucks. I'm wondering if there's any way you could both wear the same dress but personalize it via alterations to make it your own so that they don't look the same? Could one of you have it in ivory, one in white? One of you wear it with a sash, one without? Can you add a rhinestone brooch somewhere? Alter the neckline or the back, maybe something like what Miss Butterscotch did here:
http://www.weddingbee.com/2007/09/06/making-it-my-own/
I think the most important thing is you need to talk to your friend and come to a conclusion. If you decide to have only one of you wear the dress, you need to talk it out to figure out who the lucky girl will be. Maybe one of you needs to go shopping again to find another dress, maybe not. Best of luck to you, I know this must be really frustrating.
Will you both have a lot of the same guests at your weddings? If it's only, say, a handful of guests who will be attending both weddings, I wouldn't worry about it too much. It is easy to compare in your own mind, but no one else will be comparing the two of you! You should each get the dress that makes you feel the best, and if that happens to be the same dress for both of you, I say go for it! If you don't make a big deal about it, I bet no one would even really notice. I know that all of my friends looked stunning at their weddings, but if I saw another bride wearing the same dress today, I might not even make the connection. You will each make it your own and do different things with hair, makeup, shoes, flowers, etc. to create your own individual look.
Of the weddings that I've been to, I only remember what one (yes, one) wedding dress looked like, and I'm a pretty detail oriented person. The others? They were various shades of white.
Why can't both of you wear the same dress? Unless it's something really unusual, no one will even notice.
Wow! I am having the same issue with my best friend! (I thought I was the only one) Immediately after putting a deposit on my dress I showed my best friend pics of it online, two weeks later she called and told me she got the same dress... only here's the crazy part... she is pretending that she didn't realize they were exactly the same! This is completely out of her character, normally she is a nice regular girl, but lately she has turned into a crazy bridezilla. So I have decided that a wedding dress isn't worth ruining our friendship over and I haven't told her that I am upset (mostly because we both put a lot of money down and neither of us should have to take such a big loss.) She will be wearing the dress 2 months before me and we are only having approx 30 of the same guests so it shouldn't be so bad. What I am mainly concerned with is my fiance seeing her in it and making judgements about the dress before he see's me in it. I would hate for him to say something like "Yuk, that lace is ugly" (our dresses are ivory lace), you know? Best of luck to you... I know just how difficult this situation can be!
I don't think it will be an issue. I work in a modeling agency and I've seen designers come in with samples and each girl looks different in the same dress- Honest!
Try to let it roll off your back, and Keep the big picture in mind- and remember how you felt when you slipped on the dress originally. If it was the "beesknees" Stick with it!
dress_back.jpg (139.9 KB, 114 downloads) 3 years old dress.jpg (107.7 KB, 120 downloads) 3 years old
I agree with all of the above. It's annoying when someone else steals your thunder...however keep the big picture in mind. The same dress will look fabulous on you if not MORE fabulous! If you want to make it more unique and more you, try adding a sash or a brouch as stated above. Even wearing a different veil will change the look entirely! Good Luck!
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I am so bummed! I have been engaged since last February, and my wedding isn't until next August, but I found a perfect dress just a month ago. My friend got engaged last month and called tonight, saying she's found the perfect dress too -- but we realized that it's the same dress as mine and she's getting married only a couple of months before me! It also doesn't help that she's practically a supermodel and I've been working out like crazy before my first fitting in December. I am so bummed. How can I stop being bummed?