(Closed) Wedding Dress Debacle – backup dress? NEED HELP

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’d buy the second dress. In my mind, there is no price you can put on peace of mind. I can’t imagine it getting down to days before the wedding and not knowing what I’m wearing on my walk down the aisle. Just one person’s opinion. I think you’ll be able to sell either dress, whichever one you don’t wear… You might not get the full $1k back, but again… Peace of mind! Sounds like you are pretty smitten with the 2nd dress anyway.

Post # 4
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Do you love the second dress more than the first one even if the first one turns out “right?”

If the answer to that is yes, then I would probably bite the bullet and buy the second dress. If it’s no…then I think it depends on how important your peace of mind is to you vs. the money spent vs. the “dream” dress issue.

It’s definitely possible to sell an unworn dress, but it’s also possible that you won’t sell it, so I think for your own peace of mind, it might be best to not bank on that if you choose to go with buying both dresses.

Also, is the second dress a sample dress? Would you be able to walk out of the store with it?


Post # 7
8463 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Honestly I’d get the second dress.  You don’t want to leave things up to chance.  I had to get a second dress too because my first one didn’t fit anymore.  I didn’t want to risk alterations because it’s an organza dress with asymmetrical skirt (had to take it from a size 12 to a 6).  I guess it was an easy choice for me because I wasn’t totally ‘in love’ with my first dress, and I really did love the second dress.  I ended up going to a small bridal shop that took my old dress as partial credit for the new dress I purchased.  Hopefully you’ll get exactly what you wanted, but you don’t want to be without any dress at all on your wedding day.  You’re right, what’s another $1k at this point?

Post # 8
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It is common for brides to wear one dress to the ceremony and another to the reception, would that be something that would work out for you just in case of the best/worst case scenario that you would end up with 2 dresses on your wedding day? Possibly the white for the ceremony, and the non white for the reception?

Post # 11
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@missysahib:  Also, don’t spend too much time beating yourself up over it! I totally understand because I bought a dress that I ended up hating and then spent MONTHS feeling so stupid for wasting that money and like it was the end of the world.

Eventually, I sucked it up and got another dress that I loved. And, luckily, I was actually able to cancel the other dress and get the deposit back. But for a good week I was positive I had just thrown away $1200.

You maybe made a little mistake. Whatever! It’s not worth you feeling bad about yourself over it now when it’s a few weeks before your wedding. Trust me! And I agree, once the wedding is over, you’re not going sit and fret about an extra $1K. You’re going to be happy you felt beautiful.


Post # 13
1835 posts
Buzzing bee

I would buy a back up dress, but I woudln’t purchase the 1k one. odds are if you can get a cheap back up dress that has a similar style but itsn’t quite the same as an absolute back up last chance plan. Im talking like davids bridal 200$ type if possible. I know not everyone would vote for that option, but having something is better than having nothing and being out the $ twice

Post # 14
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I have a couple of questions in casee you have not ocnsidered them.

Why do you need to decide now? It sounds like the second dress is off the rack and if you don’t need alterations, why not wait for the week prior to your wedding to purchase it?

If second dress must be ordered then consider how important is the dress. Are you an off the rack size, can you typicallz buy and wear a dress without alterations? If the dress is not (or no longer) your top priority and you typically fit standard sizes i would consider buying an off the rack dress at the last minute. As well, I would look to places like Nordstrom (Dept. stores), J.Crew, Ann Taylor, etc. which sell wedding dresses and allow returns. then, if you buy a dress and your first one comes in and works you can take it back. Even if you need alterations, you can have the dress and set up an alterations appointment at the beginning of October so you will have time to cancel and return the dress if your first choice comes in.

In case I sound like I am giving crazy advice, from my standpoint, I could have found a dozen dresses that I liked (in fact I bought 3 and wore 2 and I am a street size 12 so not exactly a sample) and I really didn’t need major time consuming alterations so I would have felt comfortable waiting or ordering a few online to try as backups. 


Post # 15
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Buy the backup dress.  The same thing happened to a friend of mine who ordered a custom dress from a dress shop in Texas and they failed to complete the dress.  It took something like three years to litigate the issue and she ended up having to buy off the rack a few weeks before the wedding.

Post # 16
8424 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

First off sorry to hear you are facing this issue so close to your wedding! Yikes….I know this must feel like torture….I personally would buy the back up dress….it’s only money right?? You can always work overtime and you can make that money back…..but this is your wedding here so have the back up dress b/c you don’t want to take any chances of days before you wedding trying to find a dress! You can always sell after the wedding to get some of your money back! Good luck….sending positive vibes your way!

Oh I forgot to add….not sure where u are located but there is a bridal shop in my area called Bella Gente bridal in Tampa Fl that has all their dresses 75% off b/c they are going out of business….I went in this weekend and they still had quite a few left. They carry mori lee, maggie sottero, and I can’t rem what else! I am sure they would ship if you paid shipping since they are going out of business….just something to think about!

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