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Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple?

posted 3 years ago in Dress
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    Ms. Lily      

    I must have tried on about 80 wedding dresses by now.  Literally.  I've spent hours looking through designer websites.  I'm just having a hard time finding the dress "I've always wanted".  I guess I just can't make up my mind whether I want a poofy dress or a more simple dress.

    Today, for the first time, I tried on a dress that has made by heart beat a little faster, and that has made me think that perhaps this may be the one.  When I first saw it online, I thought it was way too over the top, but after trying on dozens of dresses, I decided to just give this one a try.

     I think it's got a lot of elements that I like - the fitted bodice with the dropped waist, I like the colour and shine of the fabric, and the beadwork is very nice too.  I never thought I would like a poofy skirt with so many pick-ups, but it actually makes me feel good - daring, like "I can pull this off"!

     But I'm afraid to look back and regret choosing something that will go out of style- perhaps a more traditional dress would be more timeless.  I'm also afraid of disappointing my mom.  She's not super picky or anything, but so far when I have sent her pictures of dresses, she has said she prefers simple and classy.   My mother and sister both live out of town, and have only seen dress pictures from websites and catalogues.  Theboth say they prefer simple dresses, but I wonder what they would say if they saw me in the poofy dress?

    So please help me.  I'm afraid that if I choose this poofy dress, I will regret choosing something that will go out of style.  At the same time, if I choose something that is just "good enough", or simple, I will regret not taking the opportunity to wear a dress in a style I will never be able to wear again.  Which is the worse regret??

    PS.  What do you think of the dress, by the way?

     

    Thank you!!

    Attachments

    1. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img d761ec70-bd0a-4d6b-b180-09f136831218.e.jpg (47.3 KB, 192 downloads) 3 years old
     
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    meggles    June 6, 2009   UK

    I like the color of the dress alot- a deep ivory is flattering on lots of people.

    Do you have a picture of YOU in the dress?  I found that I never felt "the one" until I saw myself in pictures.  Comparing myself a bit more objectively in a few dresses really really helped. 

     
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    carrieitly    April 18, 2009 USA / June 14, ITALY   Giulianova, Italy

    The bodice of that dress is stunning. If you read a lot of dress posts here on WB, you'll see most girls ended up with something they didn't initially imagine. Furthermore, all wedding dresses eventually go out of style- if you just look at what the classic gowns of the 80's and 90's you'll see that even the most simple gown still doesn't translated 100% to today (and it's not helped by the hairstyle, the makeup, shoes, the groom's suit etc.).

    I had the opposite issue to you- I thought I wanted a bit of sparkle, my mom knew she wanted me in a bit of sparkle, and assumed I wanted a more fitted skirt. All the detailed dresses I tried on, albiet beautiful, just didn't feel like me. At all. And my mom tried relentlylessly to convince me otherwise, but when it came down to it, I just couldn't convince myself. And while I still love a more fitted skirt, I ended up with an A-line (which was initlially my last choice!). 

    It's important not to choose a dress because of what you thought you wanted, or because of what your mom wants, or because it will stay fashionable "forever", but because you love it and it makes you happy.

    P.S. That dress is very Edwardian era... so it's already a style that's made a comeback once, it's a sure bet it'll be viewed as classic even if it's not the style in 15 years.

     
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    bellenga    July 31, 2010   Georgia

    I love it.  Very lovely dress.  Go for it.

     
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    rnc620    June 20, 2009   STL

    Well put carrieitly!  I agree whole heartedly.  There is no way to pick something that will stay in style.  I used to work at a bridal shop that also carried consignments.  When a girl walked in the door with a dress that was older than 5 yrs old we immediately knew it was retro, vintage, antique, old school.. whatever you want to call it.  That doesn't mean the dress wasn't stunning or wasn't still loved by the woman... it just meant that it probably wasn't going to get bought by a young girl quite as quickly as all of the new dresses hanging on the rack. 

    And this is your wedding day. Why are you worried about disappointing your mom and sister?  They should support you in whatever you choose.  Now I could see you being a little worried if you were going with a black dress or something really untraditional that they might have troubles understanding, but this is your body and you need to pick a dress that makes you look and feel amazing according to your standards! ( I, by no means, am demeaning people who wear black dresses here.. haha.. just pointing out they aren't as common and easy for the older generation to except)

    And.. I love the dress.  The color is amazing.  The bodice is beautiful and the pickups are very princess.. love it!

     
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    AnnieAAA    October 25, 2009   Dallas, TX

    I love the dress! That silhouette is actually similar to what I'm looking for, something fitted with a dropped waist and a little poof. IMO its not that poofy (the bottom of the dress only extends just a little bit further out then her hips.) The dress looks classy w/o being over the top.

    The most important thing is how YOU feel in the dress. I know people can tell me all day that I look amazing in something, but if I don't think so, I'm in a bummed mood. Pick a dress that you feel comfortable & pretty in, I'm sure thats what your mom wants for you on your wedding day too :)  

     
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    driftslikesmoke    January 2, 2010   Atlanta, GA

    I think that dress is lovely, and carrieitly is right, styles will inevitably change. What really matters, I think, is loving your dress and feeling beautiful in it RIGHT NOW.

    The beaming smile of a bride who looks and feels her best NEVER goes out of style! :)

     
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    Mrs. DG    July 18, 2009   Seattle/Tahoe

    I think the dress is gorgeous...

    @Ms. Lily- If there is one thing that I learned from this experience (and I tried on probably as many dresses as you did), it's that until I stepped a teensy bit out of my comfort zone, I didn't feel like a bride.  I thought I wanted simple, with no beading, no pouf... but as most people know here, my dress has this crazy tulle ballerina train.  

    I was so nervous about whether I could pull it off, but it was the first dress that I loved.  I feel like I've grown into the train as it sits in my closet, and it is befitting of the day!

    So, if this is the first dress you've really loved, even though it doesn't match your original mental image, I would go for it.

    Let us know what you choose, and please please share pictures with you in it, when you get some!

    Attachments

    1. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img 10_Navy_Chiffon_Headband.JPG (86 KB, 44 downloads) 2 years old
    2. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img 9_Dark_Purple_Chiffon_Headband.JPG (79.1 KB, 20 downloads) 2 years old
    3. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img 11_red_chiffon_Headband.JPG (69 KB, 6 downloads) 2 years old
    4. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img 8_Chocolate_Brown_Chiffon_Headband.JPG (87 KB, 9 downloads) 2 years old
    5. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img 7_Black_Chiffon_Headband.JPG (78.1 KB, 8 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    BeachBrideT    5/09   Florida

    That dress is very pretty! I actually went back and forth between a very classic, simple dress with a few little pickups, and a more dramatic, designer-type dress. I almost go the classic dress because I always pictured myself as a very classic bride. But then I decided to go with the poofier more designer-looking dress. I figure that this was the only time that i'd be able to wear something this big and dramatic. So I went with the much larger & more fancy dress!!!!!

    Any I figure that almost every dress will go out of style. Heck, I look at pictures of myself 8 years ago, anD I'm wearing higher waisted jeans and clunky heels... so everything is "dated" after a while. But that's ok. I see pictures of the 80s brides, and I think that THAT was so gorgeous on their wedding day, and its very appropriate for when they got married.  

    Attachments

    1. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img 0308101602-02[1].jpg (13.6 KB, 67 downloads) 2 years old
    2. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img 0308101600-00[1].jpg (13 KB, 40 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    Mrs.pinkblossoms    1-16-2010   Orange County-Los Angeles, CA

    First of all, I wouldn't worry about disappointing anyone except yourself. EVERYONE has different styles that they prefer and I was just like you in that department. I tried on sooo many dresses and the original one I wanted (I found online) none of the boutiques within 50 miles carried it. So I tried on dresses that had similar skirts and then other dresses that had similar tops and waists..then I ended up just ordering the one I had my eyes set on from the beginning (the boutiques can order my dress..they just didn't have a sample)

    And...like you..I felt like what will people think! Mine has a tulle skirt and is very princessy looking which I find mermaid is the style in the area I live in so it was a bit out of the "norm." But just like you-I felt this was going out of my comfort zone and I LOVE IT!!!

    I SAY DO IT IF YOU LOVE IT!!! <3 good luck and keep us updated!!!

     
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    mmc4474    6/5/2010   Tennessee

    go for the dress it is gorgeous!

     
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    heathaah    September 2009  

    Go fot it! 

    As far as it looking "dated" in photos...think of your parents wedding album.  Isn't the unique styles of that particular time what makes it so nice?

     

     
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    Emilie    June 28, 2008   Boston, MA

    I love the dress, Ms. Lily!

    You should definitely go for the dress that YOU love, and while it's great to make other family members happy, you have to find a dress that you absolutely love.  When I first went dress shopping, I purchased a dress that was very simple and made of organza.  I walked out of the dressing room and all of my bridesmaids said.. "ahh, it's sooo you!!", so I got it.  But, after looking at the dress some more, and seeing pictures of me in the dress, I thought it was too plain, and just not fancy enough to be my wedding dress...  so I was able to return that dress and got the complete opposite dress - fancy, satin, with beading, and pickups and lots of poof!  I LOVED it =)

    So, go for what you love!!  Don't let others make you think you want something else.

    Good luck!
    ~Emilie

    Attachments

    1. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img 8013_ivory.jpg (21.3 KB, 62 downloads) 2 years old
    2. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img 8013_me.jpg (26.5 KB, 46 downloads) 2 years old
    3. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img 8013_top.jpg (19 KB, 37 downloads) 2 years old
    4. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img 8013_2.png (148.1 KB, 34 downloads) 2 years old
    5. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img 8013_1.jpg (20.6 KB, 37 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    mizunoheaven    June 2009   Oregon/Kuwait/wedding in Australia

    The heart beat feeling is hard to ignore.

    Who needs a wedding dress that is going to stay in fashion? 

    If you feel amazing in it, whether it be your mom's dress, some vintage style, a $200 knockoff or couture, you should wear the dress that makes you feel amazing. 

    I think this dress is pretty. The low fit on the hip isn't for everyone. I nearly got one like this because it actually looks pretty good on.

    Have you tried it on? 

    Also, I don't think dresses are the same in photos as when you try them on. Your mom and sister are going to love a dress that allows you radiate. Surprise them. I am a big fan of making people just accept what I am going to wear as they are guests and it's you stepping out into life as a new you, a married you.

    If the dress winks at you, it's probably a good idea to take note.

     
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    MsHymanRoth    October 24, 2009   Boston

    I personally think the waist is a little too "dropped" for my taste, that being said, my dress is drop waist, but it only drops to my hip bones. I loove poofy. Go for it.

    I also don't think that dress is trendy, it seems classic, but I don't really know. Whatever you wear, to you, it will be classic when you look back! I love the color, if you're going for that dark ivory look. This is kind of taupe. I like it.

     
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    hhcheung2000       San Diego, CA

    I think you should go with the dress that you like, not the dress they like.  Because of course, it's your wedding day not theirs.  Just go with our gut and go with the one you think looks the best on you.  Otherwise, you'll just drive yourself nuts.

    Attachments

    1. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img ROB_5692.JPG (2184 KB, 46 downloads) 1 year old
    2. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img ROB_5726.JPG (2245.3 KB, 29 downloads) 1 year old
     
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    MissEdamame    July 2009  

    Go with the dress you fell in love with. Wouldn't you want to look back knowing that you chose the dress you truly had your heart set on?

     
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    poodle    April 1, 2010   California / Planning Process in Chile

    I think the dress is awesome, go for it!!

     
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    Ms. Lily      

    Thank you ladies, for putting things into perspective.  I came home with some pictures of me wearing the dress, and I didn't like how the dress turned out in the photos - too many shadows under the pick ups (2nd image).  So I decided to keep looking. After trying on many many dresses, I finally found the one that made me feel really excited!!  And I think it goes well with my personality - I love salsa dancing and I did a study abroad in Panama, so I love the latin styles.  Here's the dress I finally decided on!  (and I bought it without asking for anyone's opinion!!)  I just knew it looked amazing, I loved it and it felt special.  I like the dress better on my than on the model in the picture.  That's all I wanted to feel.

     Thank you all so much!

    Attachments

    1. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img lasposa277140.jpg (79.1 KB, 104 downloads) 2 years old
    2. Wedding Dress Help, Poofy or Simple? :  wedding wedding dress regret poofy simple traditional dropped waist figure Img AA812_3.jpg (88.6 KB, 71 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    hhcheung2000       San Diego, CA

    Do you have a pic of the dress you decided on?

     
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    alundberg    February 13, 2010  

    The dress you posted is beautiful!! the beading is so fancy and the skirt (although not my taste) is so interesting and lovely. :) Go for it!! I also thought I wanted a plain dress for our casual wedding, but I ended up with a beaded, rouched, sweetheart-neckline taffeta dress, completely opposite that what I thought - but it made me feel like a BEAUTIFUL BRIDE, and that is most important!! Hopefully you picked a dress that does that for you, too!! Keep us posted!!

     
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    Ms. Lily      

    Yeah, this dress has a lot of little details that I love - beadwork on the bodice, lace and ruffles in the skirt (love it!) and flowers of the side.  It's not for everyone, but it's the one for me :-)

    Thanks again to everyone for their encouraging comments!

     

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