Post # 1
So because we are having an intercultural wedding, I thought it would be great to wear the chinese wedding dress for the reception. I know i will be changing into that dress for the father-daughter dance. So, dress 2 is taken care.
We are doing the first look. I really do not like the idea of a first look but because we are not having a sit down dinner and it’s only an hors d’oeuvres / cocktail reception (reception is 3-7) we thought it would only be nice if we don’t spend hours on photos after the ceremony. We’re considerate like that! 😉
The dress for the church ceremony is traditional – heavy – sparkles, lace, train. Bought it 12 months prior to the wedding but i did not have that teary-eyed “Yes!” moment with it. It was an awesome deal (sample size that fitted like a glove) and I had buyer’s regret a month later (& no returns boohoo). FMIL paid for it so i felt like i needed to keep it. I have learned to love it ever since then; made a few tweaks with the neckline, poof, etc. I don’t mind walking down the aisle because it fits with the venue.
This Alfred Angelo dress has been kept away like it’s the most important thing in the world; so sacred that I don’t want to “ruin” it by having my FI see me in it for our First Look. I rather walk down the aisle in that dress and have him see me in it for the very first time ever (even though he knows how i feel about that dress).
I have another dress by Mori Lee; a light and modern, draped tulle, mermaid dress. I thought of using that dress as a first look dress and then change into the ceremony dress after all the photoshoot. I also want to change back into this dress after the father-daughter dance and get sent off in it (that shows how much i really love this dress!)
So, question is will it be crazy for me to have a 3-dress change? It’s going to be more like 4 changes: Mori – Alfred – Chinese – Mori
Advice? Anyone out there as silly? 😀
Post # 2
I’m more concerned by the fact that your reception runs well into dinner hours and you are not serving dinner to your guests.
Post # 3
I don’t think it will be crazy to have 3-4 dress changes. I’ve seen weddings with multiple dress changes before. Most of those brides managed it just fine, so you’ll likely be able to as well.
The only advice I have is to go with the flow and not worry too much about having to change into the other dresses. Focus on having fun and enjoying your wedding. If you for some reason can’t change your dress, don’t worry about it; having a good time with your husband, family, and friends is what’s most important.
Are you going to do a recap? I would love to see all of the dresses you’ll be wearing.
Post # 4
chxryl: Assuming you’re Chinese, this is not unusual at all to have multiple dresses. Enjoy! make sure you don’t take too much time changing dresses – enjoy your wedding too.
Post # 5
chxryl: I think it’s a little unrealistic to have this many changes. Will you need to be bustled too? If so, this is probably going to take up more time than you are anticipating—especially if you are trying to maximize your time with your guests.
Just so you know, it’s very possible to not do a first look (since you said you aren’t keen on it anyway) and still make it to your reception in a reasonable amount of time. You can always schedule individual bride and groom shots with your respective families and wedding parties before the ceremony, then do a couple group shots afterwards, dismiss the wedding party and close photographed family into the reception and then complete your photos as a couple. This usually doesn’t take that long if everyone is cooperative and the photographer is on-time. Of course this also depends on how many people and shots you want photographed.
Plus, I’m assuming that you want your couple’s portraits in your ceremony gown any right? If that’s the case taking those photos in a separate first look dress wouldn’t make much sense or save time.
These are just things to consider before making your final decision. You might be able to cut down on one of your changes.
Post # 6
If you’re Chinese (which I’m guessing you are based on wearing a tradiitonal chinese dress), then no. Part of a chinese wedding is for the bride to do multiple dress changes.
Post # 7
depending where she lives, 7 isn’t that “well into dinner hour”. I know where I live there are lots of people who eat at 7 or 8pm. They can have appetizers at her reception and go home/out to eat dinner if they are still hungry!
To answer your question OP, I personally would think it’s too much to make so many dress changes, but if you really want to, it’s your decision! If you love the mori dress though , you should wear that one most!
Post # 8
califlorican: This is just bad etiquette all around. There are appropriate times to serve appetizers but it is NOT 6- 7pm. One can serve apps after lunch–starting at ~2-3pm or so or after dinner starting at ~7:30-8pm, but to serve only appetisers and have the reception run into the dinner hour is clearly bad etiquette. I see she is trying to do the after lunch, but the appropriate course of action would be to have the wedding earlier in the afternoon and not run into dinner. Or later, after dinner.
Some people eat dinner at 5. You might eat dinner at 8. Good for you. Most people eat dinner around 6 pm or so and that is traditionally considered the dinner hour. I wouldn’t be surprised if guests left early because they were hungry.
Your point doesn’t even stand to reason–if guests left her reception at 7pm, how likely is it that they would all be in and seated wherever they will eat in the next few minutes? I can tell you that’s not very likely. So yes, for all practical purposes, her reception leaves guests without dinner during the normal time people eat dinner. Her guests will most likely have to eat closer to 8pm if they don’t leave early.
Post # 9
It’s not unsual to have a lot of dress changes if you’re Chinese.
Post # 10
franklymydearidont: id like to ask a question: if her guests are served enough apps that they aren’t hungry why is that poor etiquette? Would it be better to serve a rubber chicken dinner than potentially a wide variety and numerous amounts of apps that appeals to a greater number of palettes?
Post # 11
fscarlett: Will they be served enough apps that they aren’t hungry? That’s a big question.
Post # 12
franklymydearidont: fscarlett: I am concerned about that too but the future MIL and the caterer convinced me that it should be ok seeing that the reception should end around / no later than 6 and we have a pretty substantial amount of food/apps. Also, most people here in the South have their dinner around 6:30 – 7PM. Honestly, I’m slightly more worried about the window time between the ceremony and reception.
TheLadyA : califlorican: The only dress that needs to be bustled is the ceremony dress. The other 2 are floor length with a zipper-back. Well, the Mori dress is a lace-up but it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Every one thinks it’s ostentatious to have that many dress changes too but I just don’t want to regret not being able to wear the dress i really love.
Post # 13
OP’s question was about her dresses, not about her choice to serve appetizers at HER reception. It blows my mind that people are commenting on the etiquette of food being served at her reception when she’s not asking for anyone’s advice!! I get that this is an open forum but she posed a question about her dress in the “Dress” section. Not only that, but how can you say that it is bad etiquette when you don’t have all of the information such as the amount of food that she’s serving.
OP, I think you should wear what you want. It’s your wedding and as long as you’re comfortable with the multiple dress changes (and realize the amount of time it could take), then go for it.
Post # 14
I’m chinese from Singapore, and brides usually have 3-4 dresses on their wedding day. One for the wedding ceremony, one for tea ceremony, two for reception (first being the gown from wedding ceremony or a completely different one). So I don’t think it’s crazy to change so many times!
I wish I could have this many changes too! But I’m travelling to Singapore with my wedding dress and one is big and heavy enough. 🙁
Post # 15
I don’t think that having a dress change is a bad idea, but I would be worried that changing that many times would make it hard to enjoy your wedding. I would try to cut one change out. Maybe just stay in your Chinese dress until the end of the night?