What do you think of borrowing a dress from someone who's going through a divorce? I'm on a very limited budget and the dress fits me perfectly. The couple that broke up had a great marriage while it lasted, but ultimately decided that it was best for them to move on. They are still in divorce proceedings, but everything is very amicable and they each have found new loves that better suit them.
I'm a little worried about using her gown, although it fits perfectly. My fiance and I aren't very superstitious, but I can't help but get bits of fear of energy that is left on the gown or something.
Another thing, they would probably both attend the wedding. I may use the "wife" as my officiant or my bridesmaid...
Use the dress. If you're worried about energy, perhaps have a dress blessing or something else to set your mind at ease. Ulimately, it's a dress - what you and your sweetie put into the marriage is what is going to make or break it.
I too had an amicable divorce from my first husband and my best friend wore the veil I wore when I married him in her own wedding years later. She and her husband are VERY happily married and have three great kids. She passed the veil on to a friend of hers who is also now happily married.
Think of the dress as a wonderful blessing from your friend, because that's what it is!
if she's going through an amicable divorce, I think that shows great character on her part, and it sounds like you know what a great person she is from your friendship, so go ahead and wear the dress and have her play a role in your wedding.
I would have the exact same fears. I know its silly, and the reality is that its only a bunch of sewn together fabric. But there is something about....carryover karma or juju or call it whatever you want.
But man these ladies are assuring! So I would be totally into what miss m suggested: have a dress blessing/cleansing/whatever! Maybe you can invlove the lovely lady who is lending it to you, I feel like she would be most able to banish any badness thats left :-)
Y'know, I can see where the other gals are coming from, but I personally wouldn't do it. I'm a little superstitious, and the bad juju just wouldn't sit well for me, amicable divorce or not.
Wear the dress...it's no different than all the people who rent their wedding dress or buy it used..or anyone who's bought a second hand diamond. Your marriage is what you make of it.
Your friend would feel great that she's saving you money and that someone else is finding happiness in that dress. Her soon-to-be ex probably wouldn't recognize that dress anyway!
I don't know...there's no reason to not wear the dress, but the fact that the divorcing couple will be at the wedding gives me pause. Divorce is painful, going to a wedding during a divorce is more painful, and watching your former gown go down the aisle might just break your friend's heart. But if your friend really wants to give it to you, then maybe it's totally fine.
If you're sure your friend doesn't mind/won't be emotional seeing you in her dress (which she shouldn't if the divorce is mutual and amicable) then I say HELL YEAH wear it! You like it, it fits and it's free...I would consider that a blessing! If you're that concerned with any "negative energy" in the dress, do as someone else said and have it blessed. Not to step on anyone else's toes, but I just don't believe in superstitions....your marriage is going to be determined by the decisions you and your FH make, not the "juju" of a dress. Some people realize that they shouldn't have gotten married, and in your friends case, it sounds like they both realized that and there's no malice - they made a pretty clean break and are happy with it, so there shouldn't be any negative karma in that. Wear the dress!
I say go for it. As someone who has been through a divorce, I promise you that dress I wore was NOT the problem! Give that thing an airing out and bless the dress and wear it.
I think if it was me, I would at first be a bit weirded out - but really it is just a dress. You make your own life, you won't carry over any bad tidings by wearing it.
I don't think that wearing this dress ensures a bad marriage...just like wearing the dress of a happily married couple would not ensure a great marriage. As many other posters have stated...the dress is just that...a dress. Your marriage is what you make it, regardless of what you get married in- a previously worn dress, a bikini or in the buff! So, go for it!
PS- Do you think anyone has actually gotten married naked?
Do you love the dress exactly as it is? Is there something you can do to alter it to make it your own a little?
I think it boils down to how important "the dress" is to you. I know that I love my dress because I think it screams ME! Everyone will look at and and say "that is a katie dress."
But I also agree that having the couple at the wedding and seeing the exact same dress would be difficult. Apart from all of those concerns I don't think you need to be conserned about bad luck.
What do you think of borrowing a dress from someone who's going through a divorce? I'm on a very limited budget and the dress fits me perfectly. The couple that broke up had a great marriage while it lasted, but ultimately decided that it was best for them to move on. They are still in divorce proceedings, but everything is very amicable and they each have found new loves that better suit them.
I'm a little worried about using her gown, although it fits perfectly. My fiance and I aren't very superstitious, but I can't help but get bits of fear of energy that is left on the gown or something.
Another thing, they would probably both attend the wedding. I may use the "wife" as my officiant or my bridesmaid...
WHat are your thoughts?
posted by beelight13 14 posts 3 months agoUmmm... it's just a dress!
Wear it if you like it!
posted by peachypear 98 posts 3 months agoUse the dress. If you're worried about energy, perhaps have a dress blessing or something else to set your mind at ease. Ulimately, it's a dress - what you and your sweetie put into the marriage is what is going to make or break it.
posted by missm 483 posts 3 months agoMaybe this will set your mind at ease:
I too had an amicable divorce from my first husband and my best friend wore the veil I wore when I married him in her own wedding years later. She and her husband are VERY happily married and have three great kids. She passed the veil on to a friend of hers who is also now happily married.
Think of the dress as a wonderful blessing from your friend, because that's what it is!
posted by beanchar 95 posts 3 months agoif she's going through an amicable divorce, I think that shows great character on her part, and it sounds like you know what a great person she is from your friendship, so go ahead and wear the dress and have her play a role in your wedding.
posted by MsPopcorn 104 posts 3 months agowear the dress! it's free, you love it, and it's from a great friend. :)
posted by staceyb 178 posts 3 months agoI would have the exact same fears. I know its silly, and the reality is that its only a bunch of sewn together fabric. But there is something about....carryover karma or juju or call it whatever you want.
But man these ladies are assuring! So I would be totally into what miss m suggested: have a dress blessing/cleansing/whatever! Maybe you can invlove the lovely lady who is lending it to you, I feel like she would be most able to banish any badness thats left :-)
posted by finbladez 32 posts 3 months agoY'know, I can see where the other gals are coming from, but I personally wouldn't do it. I'm a little superstitious, and the bad juju just wouldn't sit well for me, amicable divorce or not.
posted by marianneinvan 69 posts 3 months agoWear the dress...it's no different than all the people who rent their wedding dress or buy it used..or anyone who's bought a second hand diamond. Your marriage is what you make of it.
Your friend would feel great that she's saving you money and that someone else is finding happiness in that dress. Her soon-to-be ex probably wouldn't recognize that dress anyway!
posted by Yach 234 posts 3 months agoI don't know...there's no reason to not wear the dress, but the fact that the divorcing couple will be at the wedding gives me pause. Divorce is painful, going to a wedding during a divorce is more painful, and watching your former gown go down the aisle might just break your friend's heart. But if your friend really wants to give it to you, then maybe it's totally fine.
posted by snmcdowell 467 posts 3 months agoIf you're sure your friend doesn't mind/won't be emotional seeing you in her dress (which she shouldn't if the divorce is mutual and amicable) then I say HELL YEAH wear it! You like it, it fits and it's free...I would consider that a blessing! If you're that concerned with any "negative energy" in the dress, do as someone else said and have it blessed. Not to step on anyone else's toes, but I just don't believe in superstitions....your marriage is going to be determined by the decisions you and your FH make, not the "juju" of a dress. Some people realize that they shouldn't have gotten married, and in your friends case, it sounds like they both realized that and there's no malice - they made a pretty clean break and are happy with it, so there shouldn't be any negative karma in that. Wear the dress!
posted by mlindsey 175 posts 3 months agoI say go for it. As someone who has been through a divorce, I promise you that dress I wore was NOT the problem! Give that thing an airing out and bless the dress and wear it.
posted by barbarabee 25 posts 3 months agoI think if it was me, I would at first be a bit weirded out - but really it is just a dress. You make your own life, you won't carry over any bad tidings by wearing it.
posted by Sweeney2Be 1,488 posts 3 months agoI don't think that wearing this dress ensures a bad marriage...just like wearing the dress of a happily married couple would not ensure a great marriage. As many other posters have stated...the dress is just that...a dress. Your marriage is what you make it, regardless of what you get married in- a previously worn dress, a bikini or in the buff! So, go for it!
PS- Do you think anyone has actually gotten married naked?
posted by MrsSpitzer 75 posts 3 months agoDo you love the dress exactly as it is? Is there something you can do to alter it to make it your own a little?
I think it boils down to how important "the dress" is to you. I know that I love my dress because I think it screams ME! Everyone will look at and and say "that is a katie dress."
But I also agree that having the couple at the wedding and seeing the exact same dress would be difficult. Apart from all of those concerns I don't think you need to be conserned about bad luck.
posted by KatieB 66 posts 3 months ago