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Wedding dress of a divorcee?

posted 3 years ago in Dress
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    Newbee
    beelight13    7/19/09   Seattle

    What do you think of borrowing a dress from someone who's going through a divorce? I'm on a very limited budget and the dress fits me perfectly. The couple that broke up had a great marriage while it lasted, but ultimately decided that it was best for them to move on. They are still in divorce proceedings, but everything is very amicable and they each have found new loves that better suit them.

    I'm a little worried about using her gown, although it fits perfectly. My fiance and I aren't very superstitious, but I can't help but get bits of fear of energy that is left on the gown or something.

    Another thing, they would probably both attend the wedding. I may use the "wife" as my officiant or my bridesmaid...

    WHat are your thoughts?

    Attachments

    1. Wedding dress of a divorcee? :  wedding dress gown divorce Img priscilla_of_boston_4404.jpg (74.8 KB, 24 downloads) 2 years old
    2. Wedding dress of a divorcee? :  wedding dress gown divorce Img priscilla_of_boston_4404_1.jpg (73.6 KB, 22 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    Helper bee
    peachypear    8/2/08   Portland, OR

    Ummm... it's just a dress! Wedding dress of a divorcee? :  wedding dress gown divorce Icon Razz Wear it if you like it!

     
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    Busy bee
    missm    09-27-08   San Francisco

    Use the dress.  If you're worried about energy, perhaps have a dress blessing or something else to set your mind at ease.  Ulimately, it's a dress - what you and your sweetie put into the marriage is what is going to make or break it.

    Attachments

    1. Wedding dress of a divorcee? :  wedding dress gown divorce Img Rachelle_2.jpg (70 KB, 26 downloads) 2 years old
    2. Wedding dress of a divorcee? :  wedding dress gown divorce Img Rachelle.jpg (71.2 KB, 21 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    beanchar    Feb & May of 2007 (2 ceremonies)   Virginia

    Maybe this will set your mind at ease:

    I too had an amicable divorce from my first husband and my best friend wore the veil I wore when I married him in her own wedding years later.  She and her husband are VERY happily married and have three great kids.  She passed the veil on to a friend of hers who is also now happily married.

    Think of the dress as a wonderful blessing from your friend, because that's what it is!

    Wedding dress of a divorcee? :  wedding dress gown divorce Icon Biggrin

     
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    Helper bee
    MsPopcorn    August 2007   Toronto, ON, Canada

    if she's going through an amicable divorce, I think that shows great character on her part, and it sounds like you know what a great person she is from your friendship, so go ahead and wear the dress and have her play a role in your wedding.

    Attachments

    1. Wedding dress of a divorcee? :  wedding dress gown divorce Img 9917_611172867742_23106711_35494276_83.jpg (70.4 KB, 115 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    staceyb    may 10, 2008   los angeles

    wear the dress! it's free, you love it, and it's from a great friend. :)

     
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    Blushing bee
    finbladez    August 2009   BOS

    I would have the exact same fears. I know its silly, and the reality is that its only a bunch of sewn together fabric. But there is something about....carryover karma or juju or call it whatever you want.

    But man these ladies are assuring! So I would be totally into what miss m suggested: have a dress blessing/cleansing/whatever! Maybe you can invlove the lovely lady who is lending it to you, I feel like she would be most able to banish any badness thats left :-)

     
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    Blushing bee
    marianneinvan       Vancouver, BC

    Y'know, I can see where the other gals are coming from, but I personally wouldn't do it. I'm a little superstitious, and the bad juju just wouldn't sit well for me, amicable divorce or not.

     
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    Helper bee
    Yach    10/23/07   CT

    Wear the dress...it's no different than all the people who rent their wedding dress or buy it used..or anyone who's bought a second hand diamond.  Your marriage is what you make of it. 

    Your friend would feel great that she's saving you money and that someone else is finding happiness in that dress.  Her soon-to-be ex probably wouldn't recognize that dress anyway!

     
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    Buzzing bee
    snmcdowell    9-13-08   Chicago

    I don't know...there's no reason to not wear the dress, but the fact that the divorcing couple will be at the wedding gives me pause. Divorce is painful, going to a wedding during a divorce is more painful, and watching your former gown go down the aisle might just break your friend's heart. But if your friend really wants to give it to you, then maybe it's totally fine.

     
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    Helper bee
    mlindsey    3/15/08   Los Angeles

    If you're sure your friend doesn't mind/won't be emotional seeing you in her dress (which she shouldn't if the divorce is mutual and amicable) then I say HELL YEAH wear it! You like it, it fits and it's free...I would consider that a blessing!  If you're that concerned with any "negative energy" in the dress, do as someone else said and have it blessed.  Not to step on anyone else's toes, but I just don't believe in superstitions....your marriage is going to be determined by the decisions you and your FH make, not the "juju" of a dress. Some people realize that they shouldn't have gotten married, and in your friends case, it sounds like they both realized that and there's no malice - they made a pretty clean break and are happy with it, so there shouldn't be any negative karma in that. Wear the dress!

     
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    Newbee
    barbarabee    12/27/2008   Rockledge, FL

    I say go for it. As someone who has been through a divorce, I promise you that dress I wore was NOT the problem! Give that thing an airing out and bless the dress and wear it.

     
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    Bumble bee
    Sweeney2Be    Aug 23, 2008   Twin Cities Minnesota

    I think if it was me, I would at first be a bit weirded out - but really it is just a dress. You make your own life, you won't carry over any bad tidings by wearing it.

     
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    Helper bee
    MrsSpitzer    May 17th, 2008   Married in Boulder, CO from Los Angeles

    I don't think that wearing this dress ensures a bad marriage...just like wearing the dress of a happily married couple would not ensure a great marriage. As many other posters have stated...the dress is just that...a dress. Your marriage is what you make it, regardless of what you get married in- a previously worn dress, a bikini or in the buff! So, go for it!

    PS- Do you think anyone has actually gotten married naked? 

     
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    Worker bee
    KatieB    10.25.08   Harrisburg PA

     

    Do you love the dress exactly as it is?  Is there something you can do to alter it to make it your own a little? 

    I think it boils down to how important "the dress" is to you.  I know that I love my dress because I think it screams ME!  Everyone will look at and and say "that is a katie dress."

    But I also agree that having the couple at the wedding and seeing the exact same dress would be difficult.  Apart from all of those concerns I don't think you need to be conserned about bad luck.  

    Attachments

    1. Wedding dress of a divorcee? :  wedding dress gown divorce Img bbr2.JPG (51.6 KB, 53 downloads) 2 years old
    2. Wedding dress of a divorcee? :  wedding dress gown divorce Img fuschia.JPG (37.5 KB, 74 downloads) 2 years old
    3. Wedding dress of a divorcee? :  wedding dress gown divorce Img fuschia.JPG (37.5 KB, 53 downloads) 2 years old
     

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